STEVEN SEAGAL TRAILER OF THE DAY
01.07.09GRR, Ruslan is on the move! In Ruslan, Steven Seagal comes out of hibernation to play a former Russian mobster turned crime novelist turned guy who kills everyone. Are you ready or not? Because here comes the boom. Click click click. Honestly, can we just combine all these shitty rap metal songs into one? Yes, I am ready for the boom (though I know it matters not whether I am ready). Oh, here it comes. OOH WHA AA AA-AA. Well, would you look at that, the bodies are hitting the floor.
[via Twitch, thanks to Robopanda for the tip]
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So when does this come out on Laser Disc?
Let the “booms” click the floor?
I prefer to watch it with Suzanne Vegas’ My Name Is Luca playing in the background. That shit is deep.
If you can rub Steven Seagal’s belly, you’ll have good fortune for 10 years. Starting after the neck brace comes off, of course.
How refreshing! This is like no other movie I’ve ever seen before. And what a departure for Seagal, too, to play a character like that.
Dear god please tell me that wasn’t Sam Neil in the beginning.
Sure, Grand Turino isn’t playing in my town yet, but this chunk of shit will probably get shown before they make room at any of the 20 screen megaplexs around here.
Motherfuckit.
The original title was just “Russian” but Segal couldn’t say it without getting white spittle around the corners of his mouth.
If you combine the bands that wrote the aforementioned songs, you get a Disturbed Drowning Pool of Saliva.
Yeah, I have a lot of time on my hands.
Stephen Segal’s hair dye brand is Bic pen.
Damn, Mutt.
I was checking to see if Gran Tarino was playing in a theater near me.
I didn’t realize bear caves had tanning beds.
I don’t think I’m gonna see Gran Terino.
This movie looks like a metaphor for taking a bath, but the bath sucks because Steven Seagal insisted on being in it. Ahhh, bathtube methaphors.
{makes sign of the evil eye at lTo}
His name is Ruslan, and he’s Russion?
Who’s playing the Egyptian Magician?
Mutt, if we hung out I’ll introduce you to Grand Trina.
I’ll believe Steven Seagal is Russian when I see a tow truck driver with all his teeth.
Guys, I think for lunch I’m having a Grand Tuna
“Turino”? “Russion”? How many of you fit in the corner at once, and is it still punishment if you’re all in there together?
I’m just glad to still be able to live and work in New Orleans after our Grand Katrina.
What? Not soon enough?
If Steve’s Russian is anything like his guido character then the Academy can shut down for the next year.
(Greetings from Lambert Airport, you cocksnorks)
New up
New sausages up Valince’s ass!