STAR WARS YOGA
01.30.09
A blog called You Will Not Believe recently had a pretty sweet feature on Star Wars Yoga, along with a fictional correspondence between George Lucas and Steve Jones, fictional LucasFilm Marketing VP and the inventor of Star Wars yoga. Might I also suggest a pose in which you spread your asshole and throw away $10. I call it the Indiana Jones IV.
Important Health Tip From Dr. Vince: ALWAYS offset your yoga workouts with kegel exercises. Remember, ladies, not all flexibility is good flexibility.
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Yoga sounds like Yoda… wonder how many jokes i just ruined.
DeFrank…they were only the really shitty ones, no harm done.
Is Yoga the little green – HEY! THANKS FOR RUINING MY FUN!
Will the ‘Episode I’ kit come with its own little kid to rape, or do you need to get one of those on your own?
Lucas is a master of the Downward Facing Dignity.
I like to practice the “Original Greedo”. This exercise helps me avoid premature ejaculation.
I like to go to local yoga classes, sneak up behind girls and perform “Gredo Shoots First.”
Hold on…
HERE COMES THE DICK-STEPPER!
Next move: ‘The Jar Jar’. Now keep going…going…almost there..GOOD! Now keep your own dick in your mouth until your eyes start to bug-the-fuck-out.
I got kicked out of yoga class for constantly performing the “Moon of Endor.”
Burnsy, should’ve used the force.
Hey, Star wars yoga keeps me limber. That and all these sweet muscle relaxants.
Now let’s try: ‘The Storm Trooper’. Okay, ready? Now lay that black prostitute on her back…careful…careful…okay, and now splatter her with your seed. THAT’S IT!!!
Cho, isnt that the rare and dangerous Bukkake Skywalker move?
Yoga is for fags.
I like to go to Curves and beat-off on the stair climber while wearing my Chewbacca mask.
I tried to fix it, but I’d only end performing the Admiral Crackbar.
I once taught my little brother the R2D2 position – I stuffed him in the kitchen garbage can and rolled him out into traffic.
And when the instructor suggested new shorts, I could only perform the “Wedge Antilles.”
Pauly, is your mask movie quality, or the plastic kind?
Eibz, that one requires the entire Imperial fleet. Or as they’re more commonly known as: ASU’s Sigma Nu.
I once thought I was going to fuck a chick, only to find out that I’d be performing the “Wookie Munch”.
*turns on shower, hops in with all clothes on*
Eibz, the movie quality mask muffles my grunts and the plastic one amplifies them. So it’s really a toss-up.
Was gonna sign up for this class but couldn’t find a gyyym anywhere.
My mother once caught me masturbating near the fireplace. She called me the hearth-bater. I’m not sure that has anything to do with yoga.
I want to punch DeFrank’s avatar in the left ear.
Obviously… who wouldn’t.
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=coolest+dude+alive&btnG=Google+Search
The first I ever saw that picture, I had to hit my girlfriend, just to center myself.
What a coincidence… i hit my girlfriend shortly after she took it.
If that really is you, DeFrank, I pray that you’re severed in half on a construction site for an abortion clinic.
I do the “Han Solo”. A lot.
So I could lay to rest with souls of all of your half brothers?
I’m a personal fan of ‘The Ewok’: where you throw a goat skin cap on your dick and then annoy the shit out of chicks.
New up – with Stath
Shut the fuck up, DeFrank. My half brothers work at Blockbuster.
I do the Ewok. Or at least, that’s what I call her.