01.15.09 SIENNA MILLER FIRED FOR BEING TOO HOT
This whole story sounds phoney and the source is the NY Post, but like ma always taught me, that’s no reason not to use it as an excuse to ridicule people. The rumor is that Sienna “Oops here’s my tits” Miller has been forced out of Ridley Scott’s Nottingham because she’s too pretty to stand next to lardass Russell Crowe.
An insider said, “It is a mess. Russell never lost the weight he put on for ‘Body of Evidence’ – and so the love scenes between him and Sienna would have been laughable. He’s so old and fat and she’s so young and gorgeous. It’s just . . . gross.”
Wait, a Hollywood movie starring a hot chick opposite a lumpy schlub? Gasp! We can’t have that! That’s never been done!
Word in Hollywood is that producers are “looking for an older, plumper actress to play the role so [Crowe] doesn’t look like a paunchy grandpa. Someone in her late 30s or early 40s.”
The Oscar-winner has demanded serious script rewrites. “Originally the movie was about a love triangle between Maid Marian, Robin Hood and the Sheriff of Nottingham,” our tipster said. “It is now all about Russell’s Robin Hood. Literally, 40 pages of script were redone and now are just devoted to him and his massive ego. It’s amazing.”
Despite studio denials, we hear Crowe is trying to get director Ridley Scott fired. Calls were made to several prominent directors over the holidays to find a replacement. “All of this was done behind Ridley’s back,” the insider said. “He has no idea.” [Post]
Hmm, Russell Crowe is trying to get Ridley Scott fired? Would that be the same Ridley Scott that directed him in Gladiator, Body of Lies, American Gangster, and A Good Year? And since Crowe was supposed to play the Sheriff and Robin Hood, re-writing the script to focus on Robin wouldn’t really give him more camera time, now would it? Poor post. I know how long a good photoshop job and hilarious headline pun takes, so I can understand why they would just make stuff up. Plus, Russell Crowe is kind of fat, so screw him. He doesn’t have the body to pull off a svelte medieval Englishman like say, Henry VIII. I mean, you shoulda seen the washboard abs on that f-cker. Damn, son.
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2010/02/RobinHood-Crowe-Cake-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/12/RussellCrowe-RobinHood-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/11/nypost-cover-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/09/ridley_scott-150x150.jpg)
There are 53 comments about:
SIENNA MILLER FIRED FOR BEING TOO HOT
I would gladly let her lick my bung after a night of eating chili cheese dogs and triple decker bacon manwich burgers.
I like to shoot my spunk all over filmdrunk.
Scum is fucking hilarious.
Dont encourage it, Burnsy.
Russell is just preparing for Paul Blart, Mall Sheriff.
I definitely believe that Hollywood producers are looking for an old, plump actress. If their plane crashed in the wilderness.
Russell Crowe is fat and furious. He lives his life a quarter pounder at a time.
Is the banner pic of her tits? Can someone describe them for me? For some reason it doesn’t display on my machine…
In the tv series The Tudors, Henry VIII is not only ripped but sports a tan that makes George Hamilton look like Whitey from Me, Myself and Irene. The wenches are very comely though.
I don’t think the tabloids are too fond of Crowe.
Thanks a lot technology, That’s the last time you make a fool out of me! Now I see it…
Damn, I’m better looking than Russell Crowe. Fat ugly old cunt.
The NY Post would have a big, unflattering photo of Crowe, with a small inset pic of Ripley (maybe in a red circle with a slash) and the headline “PLOTTING HAM.” Meanwhile Vince is trying to get a proper Photoshop mask drawn for Euclid the Dispassionate Emu. Post FTW.
“He’s so old and fat and she’s so young and gorgeous. It’s just . . . gross.”
Boy, if I had a nickel for everything I heard that…not about ME, of course, I’m a lusty fellow the ladies all desire carnal knowledge of.
every TIME, dammnit. My old fat fingers don’t type so good.
‘Sup nerds. What have I missed? Oh, another Sienna Miller post, I see. No tits this time?
Maxwell, The Fat and The Furious and Gone In A Quarter Pounder are two of my favorite movies.
Why does anyone care? She has the acting skills of a cardboard cutout.
This cardboard cutout will totally fuck your husband.
Eibmoz, but does that cardboard cutout have holes in it? aka gloryholes.
I bet Russell Crowe thinks cardboard cutouts are delicious… especially when smothered in gravy.
Whoryholes
Hollywood, stop trying to make Sienna Miller happen.
I’m also reasonably confident that medieval nobility did not have to worry too much about being fighting fit in order to be considered a catch for the ladies. Just being “not covered in shit” would probably qualify you as Most Eligible Bachelor.
I lost my viginity at a glory hole at the men’s washroom in my local park. I never found out who she was but she was tight and gave me the best BJ. She had a really deep voice… Ahh young love.
Oh Bryce, it was probably George Michael
Russel Crowe steals from the rich loves Ring Dings.
What would a dreamy pop star be doing sucking me off at the gent’s toilets in my park? Silly Eibmoz, he could have any lady he wanted!
It probaly was Goerge Michael because Boy Goerge has to much dignity.
Russell Crowe’s Robin Hood keeps Slim Jim’s in his quiver.
Russel Crowe steals from the rich to buy po’ boys.
A plane just crashed into the Hudson. Vince – FD needs instant coverage – get your ass down there.
In this version Robin Hood’s arch enemy is carbs.
Russell Crowe’s Robin Hood’s best friend is frier duck.
“Hey Russell, Siena was fired for being too hot.”
“What? Two hot pockets fell in the fire?” *puts on sixty odd foot of oven mitts.*
Russell Crowe’s Robin Hood is only friends with Friar Tuck because he is a deep fat friar…
Sienna got fired? So now she’s Burnt Sienna?
I was fired from Chuck E Cheese for being too sexy
Russell Crowe was jealous of Siennas Clitoral Hood.
Scum, are you Fek, who has turned into some crazy tool alter in response to Khans death?
Eib, don’t feed trolls. They collaborate and then it gets back to Russell Crowe that you have extra food.
No, I am not Feklahr…oh shit!
Today, Russell Crowe showed up with a bow made of sausage links. Apparently the arrows were jars of mustard. Sigh.
- Ridley Scott Diary, Day 34.
Word in Hollywood is that producers are “looking for an older, plumper actress to play the role so [Crowe] doesn’t look like a paunchy grandpa. Someone in her late 30s or early 40s.”
Chod, what’s the Iceman doing?
…
Other than eating professionally buttered English muffins?
Dr. Steve — Is that like sausage shaped like beer?
Sienna Miller should star in Robin’s Hooded Cobra
Well, that frees up Sienna Miller to be the see-through slut in Rum Diary.
The real tragedy of these production delays is that it means the B.E.T. spin-off “Robbin Hoods – Steal from the poor / Make it rain in the club” will be put off for another year.
I put a beer shaped sausage up my ass and told my gf to eat it but she refused because it was a Blatz not a PBR.
*jerks-off rhythmically to Ted Nugent’s “Stranglehold” while blowing a kazoo and wearing a party hat*
Pauly, What. The. Fuck.
I mean, thats a fucking awesome song and all, but that came out of nowhere… its like you just raped my brain
Russell Crowe’s real name? Russell Lynnn Buschindavind!
*Puts on classical record and lets poison take effect*
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