SATURDAY LINK FUN
01.10.09
GRRR, DOG WRESTLING! [HolyTaco]
Trailer for remake of Wes Craven’s Last House on the Left. Horror movies already write themselves, is it so much to ask that somebody actually write a new one? You know what, nevermind. [TrailerAddict]
7 TV Shows We Would Like to See. I think I already saw the film version of Anaconda Nanny. It was… rather sexy. [ScreenJunkies]
Tron 2 or Tr2n has its star! And the winner is… Some dude with gay hair. Sorry, Tron man, we thought you were a lock too. [CHUD]
AWARD TIME! DIRECTOR’S GUILD! WRITER’S GUILD! CINEMATOGRAPHER’S GUILD! THE, UH, CINEMA AUDIO SOCIETY? Just wait till my World of Warcraft Guild puts out our nominations. We have a Wizard who’s totally obsessed with Kate Winslet. [RopeofSilicon]
Someone sent me this in response to the Lesbian MMA porn post. It’s called Ultimate Surrender. “Haven’t heard of it yet? Basically, what we’re looking at is a combination of BDSM and wrestling. Two girls get into a special, padded ring complete with bleachers, a referee, bright lights and bad attitudes – and wrestle. The loser(s) get f-cked by the winner.” Um, yes please. [UltimateSurrender]
The Old People News Network. “We’ve got the latest in forwarded emails that you can pass along to your children.” It’s funny because old people have never heard of Photoshop. You have to see this, it’s a guy surfing on top of a great white! Unbelievable! [Atom]
[Picture courtesy of RoboPanda, not sure where he got it or why I'm so mesmerized by it]
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Flurst! Good morning, faggots.
That dude from the new Tron looks like Denis Leary fucked Kate Winslet, then the baby had a stroke.
I’m kinda glad they’re remaking Last House on the Left. It had a good premise, but the original was complete shit. Only worth the forced-lesbianism scenes as good fap-fodder.
That’s weird, I googled “Morgan Freeman holding cotton candy” yesterday, and the only pictures that came up were of Richard Karn, Home Improvement‘s Al Borland.
I have never seen someone so sad while holding cotton candy.
He’s sad because that cotton candy killed his diabetic grandma, and now, after a lifetime of searching, he will finally have his revenge.
Wow, Robo. That’s like Vice Versa meets Se7en.
I fucking hate italics more than Black people in New York.
Tron2: The 2ronronron, The 2ronron.
Sounds awesome!
Morgan Freeman, Clint Eastwood–we get it, old people are crotchety. More Unborn poster ass pix please!
Not all old people are crochety … some are macramey, some are needle-pointy…
The thing is, Morgan Freeman could make the diabetes revenge movie, and it would still be better than 99% of the crap Hollywood puts out.
Especially if, like Se7en, it ended with Gwyneth Paltrow’s head in a box.
The twist ending is that he eats the cotton candy and it turns out it’s Owens Corning Insulation, and he dies from it (just like the Pink Panther did).
I ate a bunch of fiberglass insulation. It wasn’t cotton candy, like that guy said.
My stomach’s itchy.
“Especially if, like Se7en, it ended with Gwyneth Paltrow’s head in a box.”
Really? I thought it was a dud box of Springin’ Snakes!
I think he’s using the cotton candy as a shield against the sun. His face has no room for any more freckles.
Fuck Tr2n.
I’m gonna take shots of ‘tron, cause I’m baller like that.
“In 1966, Andy Dufresne escaped from Shawshank prison. All they found of him was a muddy set of prison clothes, a bar of soap, and an old rock hammer, damn near worn down to the nub. I used to think it would take six-hundred years to tunnel under the wall with it. Old Andy did it in less than twenty. Oh, Andy loved Geology, I guess it appealed to his meticulous nature. An ice age here, million years of mountain building there. Geology is the study of pressure and time. That’s all it takes really, pressure, and time. That, and a big god-damned poster. Like I said, in prison a man will do anything to keep his mind occupied. It turns out Andy’s favourite hobby was totin’ his wall through the exercise yard, a handful at a time. I guess after Tommy was killed, he decided he had been here just about long enough. Andy did like he was told, buffed those shoes to a high mirror shine. The guard simply didn’t notice, neither did I… I mean, seriously, how often do you really look at a mans shoes? Andy crawled to freedom through five-hundred yards of shit smelling foulness I can’t even imagine, or maybe I just don’t want too. Five-Hundred yards… that’s the length of five football fields, just shy of half a mile.
Oh, this cotton candy? This was Old Andy’s butthole-cherry before “The Sisters” got to it.”
On a completely unrelated note for those of you who believe in omens, today I saw a commercial for The Watchmen on a FOX football broadcast.
Deleted scene from Gone Baby Gone: “This Is How We Abduct 4-year-olds In Boston”.
Funny, Peet. I saw a commercial for Swatchmen on I Love the 80′s.
How is Ultimate Surrender any different than High School Wrestling?
I miss Andy