Jesus. It wasn’t enough to make two unbearably mediocre Tomb Raider movies, now Warner wants to reboot the franchise, which was based on a video game that was never more than “Indiana Jones, but with big tits” to begin with. I love tits as much as the next guy, but never has so much been squeezed out of so thin a concept. Coming soon! Pornstar Eating a Hot Dog: The Future Begins!
The new project is expected to revamp the character [with a new actress] and her mission and bear little resemblance to the original pictures. It will reimagine the origins of the character, her love interest and the main villain. [THR]
Well color me excited. A thousand bucks says the new version involves parkour.
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Angelina Jolie makes me reboot in my pants.
This franchise however? Not so much.
The Mighty Feklahr calls His schlong “Womb Raider”!
Fek, don’t you mean Womb Ra
ider? Dennis would be so disappointed.Tomb Raider: The Mystery of the Bargain Bin
The I was crossed out in that incase you couldn’t tell. I sure as shit can’t.
Any chance that Angelina could be replaced in this by . . . wait for it . . .
MEGAN FOX NAKED WEARING NINE MMS IN DUAL HIP HOLSTERS?!?!?!
I don’t get it. What is the universal draw that Angelina has over most people? Yeah I get that she’s got a slammin’ body, but so do 35% of the chicks at
the local daycarethe University of Nebraska. She’s honestly nothing but glorified trailer trash, yet I still find myself pounding the pud when I see her. Whathehell!?!?!This has Lisa Rinna written all over it.
When did John Voight get a boob job?
I bet this is gonna be gritty, dark and more realistic, kinda like that time where i glued my pubes on my 10″ black dildo.
The only way this will be good is if she first jams the camera between her thighs, then guns down a T-Rex whilst screaming profanity shortly before falling from the top of a cave and face-planting. End Film. Basically my experience of the original game.