OVVA STUFF DAT’S ‘APPENED…
01.15.09
More hilariously shitty and out of context pictures from Dragonball. Then again, I’m not sure there is a context for Dragonball pictures. [OhNoTheyDidnt]
Asian man breaks open a watermelon with his face. And it only takes him 50 tries! [HolyTaco]
In honor of Notorious, 7 rappers who need to act. Yeah, too bad Notorious looks like a Lifetime movie. Okay, maybe a ThugLifetime movie. [ScreenJunkies]
The black guy from Scrubs is in a movie. And he delivered the cocaine to the wrong house! Hello, hijinks? Yep, time to ensue. [TrailerAddict]
Arrested Development creator Mitch Hurwitz describes his idea for the film as “Valkyrie meets Hotel for Dogs.” Just know going in: Tom Cruise can only bark in an American accent. [Cinematical]
The Killer Inside Me is set to star Casey Affleck, Jessica Alba, and Kate Hudson. Jessica Alba and Kate Hudson? That could create a fireball of shitty acting big enough to swallow the Earth! Also: hee hee! “Killer inside me”. [ProductionWeekly]
Stan Lee interview: “I once sat next to Gene Simmons on an airplane. Huge comic-book fan, apparently. He starts quizzing me. ‘You know, Stan, that Iron Man issue you wrote. No. 23. On page 10 in panel 3, where . . . ‘ And I say, ‘Slow down, mister. I can’t even remember where this plane is going.’” Ha, it’s funny because he’s old. Also, you should’ve killed Gene Simmons while you had the chance. [Details]
“Fiddlestixx, the time-traveling monkey, with his wanton sex appeal is irresistible to men, women, and creepy white-faced blonde-wigged persons of indeterminate gender!” One of the weirder things I’ve seen. Also, the monkey looks suspiciously sloth-like. Keep him away from the pterodactyl dick bones! [Atom]
5 clips from Moon, the Sam Rockwell sci-fi movie with Kevin Spacey playing a robot voice. I like Sam Rockwell, because he seems like he drinks a lot. Is that wrong? [Collider]
Patrick McGoohan (from The Prisoner) is also dead. The man pretty much defined prison movies in the pre-lesbian era. Or so I’ve heard. [Empire]
Damn, I flew US Airways out of LaGuardia not to long ago. Glad I’m not these people, it’s like 8 degrees right now. But on the plus side: dicksicles. [picture]
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That is a lot of stuff…
The Prisoner had nothing to do with a prison dumb ass.
I also heard Jim Nabors died…………….they found him face down on the Hudson.
In other news, my diarrhea has gone away, so I guess it’s gonorrhea now.
I’d rather the Arrested Development movie be more along the lines of Bangkok Dangerous meets Hotel for Dogs.
Banner Pic: High Kick girl queefed.
I once sat next to Gene Simmons on a plane. You can’t imagine the relief I felt when the flight attendant pointed out that in the event of a water landing, his hair could be used as a floatation device.
scum: He was literally a prisoner. He couldn’t escape. So he was in a prison. You spaz.
Banner pic: High Kick Girl after the mailman tried to cop a feel.
Bryce, don’t you talk about my good friend… oh, it was scum?
My bad. As you were.
If I saw Stan Lee sitting next to Gene Simmons on a plane, I’d start jerking off until somebody proved that I wasn’t having a nightmare.
Donkey: What do you think caused that plane to ditch in the Hudson?
Are you sure it wasn’t Paul Stan Lee sitting with Gene Simmons?
So that’s where that load went after I shot it off!
Bryce: gravity?
::: looks around for Fek :::
::: shrugs :::
BONGGGGGG!!!
The Polar Bear Club was having a swim rally and was really pissed when the plane crashed their party.
After seeing Stan and Gene talking comics, Donk commenced frantic fwapping. Donk’s cock went off like a shotgun, blew out a window and there was loss of cabin pressure.
Just don’t tell the FAA. I’m definitely not putting my cock in checked baggage when I want to fly.
…recreationally though…
Touche bryce. “We all live in a little Village…Your village may be dufferent from other people’s village’s but we are all prisoners” Patrick McGoohan.
Did Pat McGoohan’s village have an idiot too?
Not just any idiot, a dufferent idiot.
Technically the pit in my basement isn’t a prison either, but ain’t nobody getting out of there.
/Wait–where’s Precious? Precious?
@Al–don’t call Duffman an idiot. Oh yeah!
Al, you of all people shouldn’t make fun of someone for putting a “u” in a word where it doesn’t belong.
Would that be Pat McGoohan, Star Trek’s Scotty?
There is no ‘U’ in ‘Team’… Because you are fucking fired.
Al, sorry I forgot the umlauts.
Hola Scummie..is there where the good little durdens get to come play now?
This is wear the Turdens come to spread the un-funny.
Like a mayo on whole wheat dick.
I have to give you gays credit for trying though….
I mean it could be worse. Pepper could come over here.
Vince where is your Seven Pounds review? I assume that Will Smiff is a drug dealer with seven pounds of coke to give to random strangers to change their lives. No?
I was fucking kidding. Please don’t bring Pepper.
Oh yeah. Pepper coming over here would be the WORST….
Don’t worry, Pepper has folding he needs to do.
According to Pepper, he is already over here.
He has infiltrated us.
He’s one of us.
Except unfunny, of course.
Almost as unfunny as your old website has become!
Is Pepper Koren?
If not……I just feel sorry for the guy.
I think Rexy, Pepper, and Hoey need to fight it out for unfunniest commenter ever.
Pauly, FELONIOUS N.I.G. isnt funny?
Pepper is folding Leesa crusty undies?
lol, I’m not a fan of the new layout over there. Also was I high or was Brandon whoring himself for a Dane Cook movie? Shit.
Although I do miss the latest comments function…
Too bad there are no pictures (that you know of) from Moon Cup, starring the Drunkettes and Erswi
“Pauly, FELONIOUS N.I.G. isnt funny?”
It sounds like something Dane Cook would say…….
You are high,AND he is whoring himself out to Dane Cook. Please dont do that, Vince.
In your defense scum, I rarely laugh at anything.
Plus, who am I to determine what’s funny?
I’m just a two-time loser, drug and alcohol abuser….
Sorry this is late, a plane crashed and I was forced to care about it yadda ya:
“In a way, each of us has an El Guapo to face. For some, shyness might be their El Guapo. For others, a lack of education might be their El Guapo. For us, El Guapo is a big, dangerous man who wants to kill us.” Lucky Day
Pauly, you dont have to laugh to find something funny just ask a Michael Richards audience.
i had almost forgotten about that damn dragonball movie
I can’t believe that such a little thing as their website sucking would send them scurrying over here.
I thought they just liked being somewhere that they talk about cameltoe, and see who can post the filthiest avatar.
Oh, and let’s not forget the racism and homophobia.
Scum, we don’t have to take our clothes of to have a good time.
Just sip some Cherry wine.
Uh huh
Yeah! Back off you sons of bitchs! Racism and homophobia is our turf…
But you know, in a good way.
A Michael Richards audience… holy shit, hilarious and relevant.
I am racist, sexist and homophobic, have a mooseknuckle and a filfy ass. Can I stay a play with you kids?
Only if you swallow the contents of this boot….
*giggles*
Stop scum, I’m going to piss my pants laughing at everything you write.
“The black guy from Scrubs is in a movie” Yup, saw him in Remember the Titans on tv last week. The trailer linked is like one of those wish fulfillment movies Eddie Murphy indulged in (i.e Boomerang) in the 90s. Not much racial diversity, y’know, like in the real fucking world. There are still white people in America, aren’t there?
*sigh*
I remember when “the black guy from Scrubs” was still named “the black guy from Clueless.”
I remember when you didnt have that scary damn Busey teeth avatar
Yay! Pauly acknowledges my existence!
*little hand claps*
I used to be “the black guy from All My Children”
*pours out a 40 for my blackface soap days*
Fuck! Sorry I’m late? Where’s the Moon Cup that Eibz promised me?
I heard there was going to be a sequel to Clueless. A class reunion thing. Now National Lampoon’s Class Reunion is my benchmark example of a movie that is remembered fondly but if actually watched again… ain’t all that. *sotto voce* “Garrree. Garrree.”
I’m related to the black guy from The Jazz Singer.
I remember when “the black guy from Scrubs” was still named “the black guy with the imperfect teeth from Clueless.”
Black Guy from All My Children Jesus, when he’s rushing on his run, feels just like his own son.
/and the circle is now complete
I used to be the black chick from A Different World. You know, the uppity one.
So, because over there found a way to suck more, we get a bunch of refugees?
I so feel like Houston.
Jasmine Something-or-other?
Actually, I don’t give a fuck. VaLince could use the hits.
jackee?
Something-or-other, is that her slave name, or her tribal name?
That was 227, bex.
Banner pic: Have you ever had that ‘not so fresh’ feeling?
Oh damn, Dire, its funny cause its true!
227 that’s the place to be/
With Martha Gibbs and her fa-mi-ly!
Whitley!
Jasmine Guy.
Thank you, Wikipedia!
Thank you, too much free time!
Remember the sex scene with Lisa Bonet – god, i loved her – from Angel Heart. I remember watching that movie with my parents. An uncomfortable experience.
the word “remember” is featuring quite prominently in my posts today.
I hope they all come over with their hot avatars of sexy tits and even sexier backs.
Now it’s time for the Charlie Br0nze show, with today’s guest, Paul McCartney!
Charlie: Remember when you were in the Beatles?
Paul: Yeah.
Charlie: That was awesome.
Ever get the feeling you’re wasting your life?
Charlie: I watch that quite often on DVD. Cool movie. Mickey Rourke before the wilderness years and clay face… And Deniro for no real reason but bitching goatee.
I’d be more likely to ask Paul McCartney “Remember when you wrote something worth hearing? I’m gonna hazard a guess it was Live and Let Die.”
Yeah, Mickey was hot.
Burnsy, I have a zit on my back that’s so big that when we slow dance you can pretend it’s a nipple and play with it.
Right getting tired, can’t see keyboard. Going off to the park toilets… I mean bed. Peace out.
Eibz – YES.
He wasn’t too keen on chickens.
Hey Eibz, he likes to fuck with food, too!
Goodnite all. Hate,hate,hate.
Not fuck with food, I mean, what did food ever do to him… but fuck with food, you know like, fuck + food = Mickey fucking…
…yup.
He cooked a mean gumbo… Also do you recall why the nasty sex with Lisa Bonnet was exra filthy… :-)
Laters.
Yeah, I saw that movie in the theatres. Hot 80′s Mickey Rourke….I’ll be right back
He kept his socks on?
Tune into tomorrow’s show as Glen and Contractor Mike will be stopping by to talk about some of the funniest things we’ve done on this site. Also, JHC, really Jesus and ascended to Heaven or just working a lot?
It’s -10deg F in his parts, I think he may have frozen his dick to his hand during a morning jerk or something.
Well, I’m off to sexually harass the new receptionist.
To woo her, I think I’ll staple some papers together by slamming my dick on her stapler.
Now if that isn’t charm, I don’t know my Cyrano de Bergerac!
Naw, motherfuckers.
Y’all motherfuckers better run to the post office and get a job, motherfuckers.
Read a book read a book read a motherfucking book
Does watching movies with subtitles count?
“Let The Right One In”.
Great book AND great movie. A rarity these days.
Sam Rockwell and a Kevin Spacey robot? I’m kind of disappointed that it isn’t a comedy, because I have a feeling that would be amazing.
Hmmm, let’s see…
* asked Pauly what the Spanish word for “fagnuts” was
* unknowingly offended one of Al’s alternate identities on another site
* mistakenly believed for ONE SECOND that there was a crappy 90s sitcom called ‘Home Improvements‘, thus incurring the Wrath of Karn
* addressed Drunkettes directly (prior to formal introduction ceremony)
* unfunny
Anything else?
Instead of yelling “oilcan” the Kevin Spacey robot just keeps yelling “poppers”.
Fact.
Hoey doesn’t have a job.
Fact.
Fact.
Sam Rockwell and a Kevin Spacey robot? I’m kind of disappointed they don’t fuck.
Fact.
Fact.
Patty Boots is Jacktion!’s Mom i.e. She’s dead inside.
Fact.
You know what Hoey?
I’m afraid I’m going to have to go back on my previous statement about you.
You actually don’t “just have a self esteem problem.”
It turns out you really are a fucking idiot after all.
Sorry
Fact.
Hoey is a drop-out.
Fact.
Fact.
The Kevin Spacey robot could suck all the dirt out of your carpet like a champ but he wasn’t even designed for that.
Fact.
Alright guys, I’m leaving to beer-fuck my face.
Remember…….
I’m watching over Filmdrunk.
All. The. Fucking. Time.
I am not dead inside! Just unfunny.
Fact.
The Sam Rockwell robot knows your noodle aint limp at all, Loverboy.
Fact.
Fact.
The Kevin Spacey robot was going to be named ASSMO but then the people who invented ASIMO got a cease and desist order for infringement.
Fact.
Fact.
Most girls are both, Patty.
Fact.
Don’t be sorry, TengoDooter. I tried to tell you all along…
I’m just trying to figure a few things out. I guess I never will.
Hey, it’s the last day of my summer holiday, and I’m sitting here trying to connect with some weirdos on the other side of the world.
That’s pretty fucking sad.
I’m off to pass out in my hammock.
Fact.
Ol’ Dirty Bastard would have made an awesome Eddie Murphy.
Fact.
Fact.
The Kevin Spacey robot just fucked a heavily-armored bomb squad robot. To death.
Fact.
Fact.
Hoey’s Mother goes down faster then any plane that hits a flock of birds.
Fact.
Fact.
The Kevin Spacey robot keeps a can of WD-40 on him at all times because “you’ll never know when anal knocks at your backdoor”.
Fact.
At least I’m not Katherine Heigl.
Fact.
The Kevin Spacey robot’s memory is expressed as a number of Giga-Pillow-Bytes.
Fact.
Good point, Patty.
Now take that bra off, girlfriend!
Fact.
Steve Harvey would have opened up that watermelon with 1 try.
Fact.
Why are we making Kevin Spacey robots? Why can’t we make robots out of men whom we don’t have to pretend are at least “handsome in an interesting way”? I mean, what are we, Ron D. Moore? “I’ll make one out of eight Cylon Dudes really attractive. The rest will have eyepatches and wear man-girdles.”
I don’t have to take off my bra if we’re playing by Apatow rules.
Fact.
The Kevin Spacey robot does not obey the Apatow rules.
Fact.
Patty , Apatow rules only apply to Heigel because she has teeth for nipples.
Eew.
And I don’t think the Kevin Spacey robot would be interested in anything that wears a bra.
Fact.
The Kevin Spacey robot’s klaxon is a recording of “What What (in the butt)” by Samwell.
Fact.
Fact.
The Kevin Spacey robot doesn’t Durst a thread. It Keyser Soze’s it.
Fact.
Fact.
There’s a guy putting air in his tires here at the store with 4 inches of ass crack showing.
Fact.
Fact.
That guy is me.
Fact.
Fact.
David Andrews once traveled at great risk into “The Zone” to find a working replica of his beloved wife,
Cherry 2000Kevin Spacey robot.Fact.
Fact.
Hoey is wasting other people’s valuable bandwidth.
And oxygen.
Fact.
Fact.
The Kevin Spacey robot was built for “input” rather than “output”.
Fact.
Fact.
The Kevin Spacey robot made out with Chris Cooper while Wes Bentley filmed it. Wes said he was just happy to be getting work.
Fact.
Hoey, don’t be too hard on yourself. Then you’ll turn in to Aimless Leon, and no one wants that.
Heh.
“Hard on”.
Fact.
Hoey is 16.
Fact.
Fact.
When the Kevin Spacey robot goes to awards shows, he brings his mom as his date. She’s a dyson.
Fact.
Fact.
Only in inches.
Fact.
Fact.
7 in his mouth and 9 in his ass.
Fact.
Fact.
Pauly can out-immature anybody. Even ten-years-ago Adam Sandler.
Fact.
Fact.
The Kevin Spacey robot just said, “Ooooo, burn!” I don’t know if he meant what Pauly just said or the popper burns.
Fact.
Fact.
Exactly one hour ago Pauly said, “Alright guys, I’m leaving to beer-fuck my face.”
Pauly, you are letting your addiction to posting interfere with your addiction to alcohol. That can’t be good.
Fact.
Fact.
Exactly one hour ago Hoey said he was going to pass out in his hammock.
Hoey doesn’t have a hammock. He has a pile of old rope and some dirt.
Fact.
Fact.
The Kevin Spacey robot could take that pile of old rope and some dirt and turn them into a sex swing and the hottest mud hut dance club in town.
Fact.
Fact.
I’m a tall-boy and two bowls in.
Fact.
Fact.
That mud hut dance club would only play one song. You know what it is.
Fact.
Fact.
The Kevin Spacey robot has limp wrist joint mechanisms.
Fact.
If this was 976-EVIL, then Hoey is gonna fuck everybody up.
Fact.
The Kevin Spacey robot was raised by two Motherboards.
Fact.
Fact.
The Kevin Spacey robot had the opportunity to fuck the underage next door neighbor but woosied out.
Fact
Or wussied. Your choice.
Fact.
Kevin Spacey will sign up for anything involving ‘Moon‘
Fact
***** http://MatchWealthy.com ***** where you can meet the wealthy singles,sexy beauties and even hot celebs . Find your sexy partner easier and more effective! What do you have to lose? Just sign up and you lose nothing!
___MatchWealthy.c o m____ where you can meet the wealthy singles,sexy beauties and even hot celebs . Find your sexy partner easier and more effective! What do you have to lose? ***
Even mm.gary is funnier than scum.
But scum is still funnier than floggedhat.
All your base are belong to us.
Why go to matchwealthy when you can just go to wwtdd to “Find your sexy partner easier and more effective!”
At least it has a proven track record.
Hmm. Fact: Filmdrunk ruined my joke. It went like this:
All your base are belong to us.
Only without faggy spaces.
Alright, fuck this place. I can’t use HTML jokes? Fail.
Oh yeah, and I forgot:
***
Fact
I love B.K. and her Battlestar references
New BSG in less than 24 hours! I’m so happy I could cry.
Fact.
I just took my dogs for a 2-hour walk in the 30-degree C sunshine, and guess what? Even though my feet are now red raw and blistered from breaking-in my new thongs (summertime footwear, not girly underwear), it was a far more rewarding experience than sitting here in a pissing contest with an imaginary Mexican sociopath.
I considered dreaming up a few more “Facts” to post, but then thought: why bother? Even if they were the funniest, sharpest, wittiest things ever written (I know, fat fucken chance of that), not one of you fuckers would dare pat a “stranger” on the back.
It’s a great little community you got here, but it can really come across as very insular, unwelcoming and downright rude. But I don’t blame you all for being suspicious of newcomers, especially with the implosion “over there” (and yes, I have been a poster there as well … joined up just before I discovered this place. My first mistake).
So it’s FilmSober for me from now on. Au revoir, cock-knockers!
(P.S. Enjoy BSG, B.K)
Well, jeez, I never said anything.
Aw, I was just starting to like Hoey!
I blame Al.
An imaginary Mexican sociopath?
Yeah. We all have our own personal “El Guapo” to face someday.
1) Build bridge.
2) Get over it.
My personal “El Guapo” is saying “when” at the endless fries at Red Robin’s.
Fact.
I love $1 beers, and $1.50 Jager Bombs.
Fact.
Jacktion, try harder.
Fact
Jacktion is thinking about signing up for matchwealthy.com.
Fact
You’re right. I’m leaving.
I’m gonna go update my facebook profile again.
WTF happened here? Looks like a bunch of GD architect wanna-be’s looking to get sucked off on the merit of doing little more than showing up. Attention-starved much? FUCK ME!
*Sniff Sniff*
This shit is cut with foot powder!
El Topo, you creepy motherfucker, do you have a webcam?
Don’t question me, just answer.
HaHaHa! I’ll answer…..but why do YOU think I’m a ‘creepy motherfucker’?
Answering with a question doesn’t count.
My webcam is for paying customers.
I never said I wouldn’t pay.
Now who’s being creepy?
What do you have to lose? Here you can meet the wealthy singles,sexy beauties and even hot celebs. Find your sexy partner easier and more effective! Just message me at paulydangerously@ live dot com (CM and ET only)
Al, don’t get any crazy ideas. I’m not in the ‘mood’.
Banner pic:
School’s out! No mo math class, biatch!
Well you GET in the “mood”, mister. I’m waiting.
Biatch, are you naked? Don’t call me out this time of night.
Maybe and why not. You started it.
Just saying…Don’t make me show you what it’s like to feel like a woman and shut the fuck up and take it….
HaHaHa..you’re too much of a sweatheart, really.
Aw such a gentleman… email me or quit trying to engage me in conversation here FUCK MIKE I miss the PM system
We don’t know each others e-mail. So, some other time…sexy bitch.
See about nine comments up, casanova.
Al, What the fuck is that!?!?