Brooks, center, with Jess Boevers, Chris Hanke, and Milo the Rape Squirrel
No, not Kevin Spacey, you jerks. Joseph Brooks, who won an Oscar for Best Original Song in 1977 for “You Light Up My Life”, has been accused by at least four women of luring them to his home with online casting calls, then sexually assaulting them while they auditioned.
When a woman responded to an audition call, the 70-year-old Brooks would tell her she’d be playing a prostitute and would have her drink shots and perform sex acts on him, police said. Some women believe they might have been drugged, police said. A woman from Seattle said she responded to an ad and after she arrived in New York, Brooks demanded she have sex with him. Another woman told police Brooks sodomized her.
Brooks also wrote and directed the romantic comedy “You Light Up My Life,” for which the [Oscar-winning] song was composed. The movie stars Didi Conn as Laurie Robinson, a comedian who dreams of being an actress and has a one-night stand with a director. [Yahoo]
Yet another case of rape imitating art. But what little boy out there hasn’t dreamed of writing a movie about the human condition, winning the Academy Award, and then using his fame to strongarm naive coeds well into his 70s? It’s the American dream. Look, I’m not trying to condone rape here, but ask yourself what’s worse: “raping” gullible actresses, or sodomizing little boys’ dreams?
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What about stealing little boys’ rape?
Grand Moff Tarkin has aged well!
Didi Conn now works in Donkey shows under a slightly different name. Nintendo is planning to sue as soon as they finish throwing up.
Back in 1989, i sodomized my nephew who was dressed as Didi Conn.
Joseph Brooks < Max Hardcore
“Didi Conn?”
*sniffs dick*
“I sure didd!”
He’s just a squirrel trying to get a nut
You can tell that girl is skeezed out by Him!
“Look, I’ll give you the part if you let me buttfuck you”
“Whaaa?”
“Shut up bitch, and bite down on this wooden spoon!”
Joseph Brooks also operated his own bus line that offered free one-way service from several Midwest high schools directly to his New York apartment. His “Taste Success” advertising campaign was brilliant.
In related news, Michael Bay was arrested and charged with multiple counts of homicide after he dressed up like a robot car and trampled 5 actresses and actors “auditioning” for a role in the new Transformers movie.
Sodomy? More like Songohmy!
Little known fact: for the past three years, Lindsay Lohan has been auditioning for a role in a movie in which she plays a sex-obsessed, substance-abusing freckled slut. Sadly, she just learned the role has been awarded to Britney Spears. “We can paint the freckles on,” director Brett Ratner said.
Joseph is set to star in the new documentary “Brooks.”
Which, ironically, is not about him at all, but rather deals with Mel, Albert, and James L.
^and the Hall of Fame former shortstop for the Baltimore Orioles.
^third baseman
You light up my life….when you darken my dick.
Bob Morrison, a successful composer of TV commercial jungles (and a rapist), is unhappy with his his lack of creative freedom in developing the definitive dog-food song (and his lack of success in raping and sodomizing people). Frustrated, he heads out to Hollywood to score a movie (and rape and sodomize). While in California, he establishes contact with an old girlfriend (and rapes and sodomizes her). Joe Brooks (“You Light Up My Life”) co-wrote, produced, directed, scored, raped, sodomized and starred in the film.
IT’S HIS PROFESSIONALISM THAT I RESPECT!
Pretending to be a prostitute, drinking shots, performing sex acts. Sounds like an episode of Blind Date.
With me.
Buttsex with a girl? I think you overestimate your chances!
This one time…at band camp…I reached deep down into my soul and expressed myself through music and wrote the song that would win me an esteemed award later on in life.
My story sucks.
Milo the Rape Squirrel? So THAT’S why he was always grabbing my nuts.
He should plead not guilty by reason of there’s no way the dude who wrote that gay-ass song is straight.
You light up my days/and fill my nights/with dong.
Then his white ass was all like, “Yo kid, I bust mad skeets up in shorty’s ba-dunk-a-dunk and kicked that shit wit crazy flava! yeeeeeah boyeeee!!”
Wait, what?
Anybody let Vink know that the About page is still directing to last week’s COTW? If so, my bad.
Fixed.
In a related story, fake Iraqi film producer Al-Kay Dahh was arrested after holding “casting calls” in which aspiring actresses were given vests full of dynamite and sent out to “audition” in crowded markets. The scam was exposed when it was revealed there were never any “call-backs.”
new up, btk