On the left we have Dead Snow, featuring chainsaw-decapitated Nazi zombies, while on the right we have Crank 2, with metal fingers, track marks and high voltage. I’m gonna have to give a slight edge to Crank 2, if only because it has Jason Statham’s name on it. The name alone is worth at least three Cannibal Corpse albums. Plus, the Stath wouldn’t need a chainsaw, he decapitates Nazis with his dick.
[via Rush Print and IMPA]
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The only thing I have that veiny says “spank” on it.
Jason Statham says “Hook ‘em, Horns!”
When Jason Statham gives you bunny ears, it’s 10,000 volts worth of funny.
What’s a “Crawk”?
Crank 2 = Black Kelly Ripa
It’s pretty close between those posters, but only one speaks out to the very metal demographic of attention-starved 13-year old emo girls.
Jack Nicholson is starring in a sequel to “As Good As It Gets” entitled “Cranky 2.”
Dead Snow = Bad name for Nazi zombie horror film
Icey Reichy = Better name for Nazi zombie horror film
Zeig Hail and Sleet = Best name for nazi zombie horror film
Lil Jon is making a comeback in a movie with Lebron James called “Crunk 2: 2 Crunk 2 Dunk.”
While you have to give him points for the literal interpretation, his shocker form leaves much to be desired.
Is that Gary Coleman in “Dead Snow” as the Nazi zombie? “Whatchu lookin’ at, Wilhelm?”
Jason Statham is protected from zombie bites by his all-o’clock shadow.
Sooo I’m assuming this “Jasonamy Stathamsmart” movie is about trying to jump start your career by doing heroin and listening to Metallica?
The “Dead Snow” poster is more metal once you realize the guy holding a bloody chainsaw also just pooped out a log cabin.
Jason Statham has an electric booger caught on his finger.
I went to Sears for a picture at Christmastime, but they wouldn’t let me make the metal sign.
Let’s play: Marry/Fuck/Kill – The Stath, Mickey Rourke, Jesus.
Jason Statham’s shadow puppets eat souls
Statham has perfected The Shocker: 1 in the pink, 1 in the stink, knuckles to the cervix!
@Burnsy: Isn’t Jesus the obvious choice for kill? He’d just come back.
Couldn’t the same case be made for Mickey?
Finally, the long-awaited hardcore sequel to “Stalag 17.”
Jason Amy and Statham Smart rock the hardest films on the planet.
True enough, but Jesus is usually only down for three days. Mickey’s knocked out for years.
Did Nazis have chain saws? Or are these Nazi Zombies from WWII that have been trapped until present day, or perhaps time travelled to modern day? Either way, Crank rocks my cock.
New up, btk
Decapitation is always more metal than a mere hand gesture. Everyone and their grandmother shows the horns, and just because they’re electric (boogy woogy oogy) doesn’t mean that it’s cooler than taking the life out of that which once had life (an evil life at that) and lost it but regained it in a more comatose state that can only be killed (again) by causing severe damage to the brain. Run-on sentences are fun.