01.08.09 LESBIAN MMA PORN? LESBIAN MMA PORN.
The San Francisco Chronicle today has an article about lesbian MMA porn. Awesome as that sounds, it’s also filled with sentences like this:
Since then, director Shine Louise Houston wasn’t exactly stroking a white fluffy cat while hot boi minions programmed the dyke robot army with the gay (porn) agenda that keeps the red states blushing.
If you can figure out what the hell that means you should find a hose because your pants are on fire. It’s always an interesting strategy to describe people in terms of what they’re not doing. “Where’s grandpa? Well, let’s just say he isn’t exactly behind the barn giving a hobo a hysterectomy.” Wait, what? Are you trying to be coy? ….AAAAANYWAY, back to lesbian MMA porn. The film in question is called Champion: Love Hurts, and its star is an honest-to-God MMA fighter.
[sic] Syd Blakovich portrays Jessie Eaton, a cold, womanizing MMA fighter who’s never lost a round in the ring.
Meanwhile, Blakovich’s promoter insists that Blakovich look and act “less gay” — even forcing the butch fighter to do a photo shoot in a dress, makeup and heels to try and win mainstream acceptance.
The film is packed with hot, raging queer sex and scorching, authentic orgasms — the heart-pounding scene with Madison Young and thigh-clenching solo by Jiz Lee are unforgettable — and it’s also filled with intense fight scenes. Big strap-ons, and flying fists.
I had a moment to chat with Blakovich about her real life, where she’s a world-touring champion cage fighter (and lesbian/genderqueer porn star). She told me that being told to look and act “less gay” isn’t just a plot point, explaining “In my own fighting career, I was initially asked by my manager to keep the queer porn under wraps because a lot of the MMA circuit is run by pretty conservative and homophobic people, but we both soon realized that in this day in age with the internet that really isn’t possible. So now, I am pretty out about it all.” [/sic]
I think I speak for everyone when I say that this film would be a lot better if Gina Carano was in it. And that women’s MMA would be greatly improved by the addition of some big strap-ons. I further posit that both these chicks earned their red belts a long time ago, if you catch my drift. Okay I need to stop now.
[Thanks to BDarbs for the tip. Just the tip.]
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/11/never_back_down_cam_gigande-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/11/alabama-pride-x-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/11/bigshow-choke-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/10/gina-carano-lip-bite-150x150.gif)
There are 56 comments about:
LESBIAN MMA PORN? LESBIAN MMA PORN.
I know she’s not in it, but you mentioning Gina Carano after talking about lesbians made me jizz my pants.
I’m gonna have to say that this genre might create a race of superhuman lesbian rapists. Good for you, lesbians.
Id I wanted to see dykes fight, I’d throw a Nintendo DS in between Chodin and Burnsy.
One time someone else jizzed my pants, and that was embarrassing.
…Holy…
fuck.
<== Just read synop.
“Id” is “If” like “You” is “Fag”.
And people think MMA is gay.
What a fucking retard her manager is. In MMA circuits, homophobis has nothing to do with chicks banging each other, it’s fueld by scantily clad dudes grinding their shriveled balls on each other faces during “training” for eight hours a day six days a week crying out, “That’s NOT gay!”
“thigh-clenching solo by Jiz Lee are unforgettable” Am i clenching something right now? Well let’s just say i’m not installing solar panels to provide a renewable energy source and heat water for my home.
Good game this.
When a lesbian fighter is injured in and in pain, the doctor gives her the pain medication “Trimenigan®”.
Now, if only they didn’t look like dude this would be 142 times better.
I would love to see Chris Cyborg Santos get a ground and pound on Gina, but not vice versa.
This gay MMA just made the PFC totally gay. Hear that ladies! Next meating Al’s bringing the Armada and you’re fighting in a bowl of soggy pasta salad.
and it’s also filled with intense fight scenes, Big strap-ons, and flying fists.
Throw in the scent of an over-cooked turkey and pretzel farts and you have Thanksgiving dinner with my ex’s family.
The promoter wanted her to look “less butch”? A real monumental feat would have been to find a way to make her look MORE butch.
The Mighty Feklahr suggests leg hair and backne.
“The film is packed with hot, raging queer sex” SO, the director is:
a) Uwe Boll
b) Brett Ratner
c) McG
d) Chyna
Lesbian
MMA
Porn
Three great tastes that taste great together.
Isn’t gay MMA redundant?
Stoney-that made Him ROFLKOTAL a little.
I’m not gonna lie, the thought of this movie is seriously turning me right the fuck on. I love dyke porn! I love MMA! I love shitty movies! Now if only they could figure out a way for a bean and cheese burrito to give me head, I’d be convinced I’m in Heaven….or the Matrix.
Jiz Lee’s favorite move is the Kummora
BTK, He is so horny at work that He might have to nuke a Hot Pocket.
Also BTK: Butch Lesbian Porn > Lipstick Lesbian Porn
There! He said it!
I’m gonna rear naked choke my cock (and myself) to this.
When I was young I learned how to speed read by finding key words in long paragraphs. Sadly, I don’t know what the fuck this is about because I didn’t see “vulva blast”, “elbow deep” or “reverse tongue fuck mouth hammers.”
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