This is the Japanese version of the Watchmen trailer. Even though there’ve already been like 12 Watchmen trailers, this one actually has some new footage, including Nixon looking at a doomsday map and hints at the Watchmen’s involvement in the Kennedy assassination. Our friend Gerald Posner actually wrote a book about who was really responsible for the Kennedy assassination. But if you ask me, it was the act of Gerald Posner concentrating on him that retroactively blew JFK’s head off.
[Thanks to RoboPanda for the tip]
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Gerald Posner calls his dick “The Magic Bullet”
Suddenly the yellow smiley face is kinda racist.
Gerald Posner cheeks bones fought in “The Bay of Pigs” invasion.
*chodin enters thread carrying Gerald Posner sex doll under left arm*
Well fuck me sideways…what timing.
Gerald Posner has breast cancer of the face.
Gerald Posner has the face of an angle.
Gerald Posner has a prolapsed uvula.
(I’m way sad I missed that thread last week)
Gerald Posner is face tall.
Gerald Posner was angry that he didn’t get the part of Beast in the Beauty and the Beast TV series.
Mickey Rourke saw the picture of Gerald Posner and ripped it up thinking someone was playing a joke on him.
Gerald Posner once made a camera shit its pants.
Gerald Posner was the model for Tom Cruise’s face in Vanilla Sky.
Michelle, Crap, get your own face jokes!
If you’ll notice, Gerald Posner’s “angry” face is very similar to his “pervert” face…which is very much like his “horny” face, which also resembles his “rape” face.
Gerald Posner is the love child of Rocky Dennis and Nien Numb.
http://www.fortunecity.com/lavender/atkinson/948/nienumb2.jpg
Gerald Posner’s middle name is Thalidomide.
Huh?
<=== Just bumped into Gerald Posner coming out of a 7-11.
Gerald Posner is a victim of Gary Busey Disease.
Gerald Posner wears a slightly larger mask of his own face at all times.
Gerald Posner doesn’t think that his extra chromosome is that big of a deal.
Gerald Posner’s cheekbones house the remains of Atlantis.
Gerald Posner is what happens when you let Salvador Dali use papier mache.
Lucky for Gerald Posner if he ever wants to rob a bank.
His face looks like it’s already in a pantyhose.
Gerald Posner cums out of the wrong hole.
Gerald Posners starring role was in The Elephant Man
Gerald Posner washes his face with over 50 years worth of scrutiny.
Gerald Posner won that childhood bet about who could keep their head in the microwave longest.
If you say “Gerald Posner” three times in a row, your firstborn comes out with fucking hooves.
Gerald Posner calls his penis “The Mystical Gun-Fired Propellant.”
When Gerald Posner goes in for a massage little Japanese girls walk on his face.
Gerald Posner has a face that only a mother could
lovetoleratestomachWHAT THE FUCK CAME OUT OF ME?
The Japanese title for Watchmen is “Colorful Superheros with Exaggerated Crotches”.
Gerald Posner really fucks up people on acid trips.
Gerald Posner makes Steven Tyler look incredibly attractive..
Gerald Posner is going to cry if he ever Googles his name.
Diremutt’s profile pic is looking at Gerald Posner.
Gerald Posner is two weeks away from going full Brundlefly.
Gerald Posner has to be related to this guy:
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/25/35580398_d5b7906ee4.jpg
When Gerald Posner was born, the doctor didn’t know which end to slap.
Gerald Posner face makes pit bulls piss themselves like a stupid fucking cocker spaniel.
When Gerald Posner cries, his entire face folds over into a vagina.
Gerald Posner steals Pauly Dangerously’s jokes.
The phrase “hit with the ugly stick” was created due to Gerald Posner.
If you plan on face-fucking Gerald Posner, be prepared to have that face fuck you back.
Gerald Posner always makes sure to be in Mexico on November 1st for Día de los Muertos because he thinks everyone is celebrating him.
Gerald Posner keeps his best secrets somewhere behind his 3rd nose, but above his 2nd cheek.
Apparently, Gerald Posners tears are made of hydrochloric acid.
Gerald Posner kept the CGI budget low on Where the Wild Things Are.
Gerald Posner looks like the love child of a 13-year-old boy and an Old Navy mannequin.
Gerald Posner wants to know what a little boy like you is doing with big boy smut like this.
Gerald Posner’s favorite sexual position is any position where you’re not starring horrified into his soulless fucking face.
Gerald Posner is an anagram for: WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT IN THE BACK OF OUR S.U.V. ???!!!
Gerald Posner makes Kirstin Dunst look sexy.
Gerald Posner co-hosted Nickelodeon’s Legends of the Hidden Temple.
{comes back from other Gerald thread}
Oh.
Hey, in my defense, I was on vacation last week, and love you FD’ers as I do, no fucking way am I reading through two weeks of posts.
And, just look and the motherfucker, he looks like the beast. The joke was a gimee.
When Gerald Posner asked the mirror who the fairest of them all was, the mirror replied, “Define fair.”
Gerald Posner lost a staring contest with plutonium.
Gerald Posner calls Mount Rushmore “South Dakota’s tattoo.”
Gerald Posner wishes he was a vampire, so he wouldn’t have to look at his reflection.
Kids play hopscotch on Gerald Posner’s face.
Gerald Posner looked at his reflection in a pond and thought the water was fucking with him.
When Gerald Posner goes to the beach he uses SPF Tar.
(keeping the reflection meme going)
Gerald Posner has a fun house mirror in his bathroom that unfucks his face.
Gerald Posner drops hits of acid so his face looks normal to him.
If Gerald Posner pushes too hard when he shits, he accidentally clones himself.
Gerald Posner sat down in a photo booth and got arrested for vandalism.
Gerald Posner visits burn wards to make the patients not feel so bad about themselves.
Gerald Posner doesn’t need to shave, but he has to de-moss twice a week.
Gerald Posner made all his money as a Klingon stand-in on Star Trek episodes.
Gerald Posner participates in the Special Olympics and all the contestants laugh at him.
Gerald Posner is worshiped as a god in Hawaii.
Gerald Posner lives on top of a totem pole.
Gerald Posner wonders if Hey There Buddy wandered in from over there by accident.
Gerald Posner wanted to support the HIV/AIDS relief in Africa so he went over to help. The people there drove him off with rocks and sticks. “Demon!” was shouted at him by the relief workers as he was chased away. Now he simply shows his support by buying (Red) products.
Gerald Posner’s shirt should say Alte(Red).
Gerald Posner’s shirt should say Disfigu(Red).
Gerald Posner’s shirt should say Inb(Red).
Al: Where is this “over there” you speak of?
Gerald Posner is Michael Myers without the mask.
Gerald Posner’s other shirt says:
Frankie Say
RELAX!
(I’m not a monster)
Gerald Posner’s shirt should say Ti(Red) of looking like this.
Slurp, slurp, slurp, gag.
Wait a minute, I thought that “Mask” kid died.
Jacktion, your avatar scares me.
Gerald Posner thinks people should do their research and, more importantly, find their funny before leaping into the fray and clogging up a thread when they’re new.
Thanks Al. I’ll take your advice and see what Gerald Posner thinks of it.
Gerald Posner’s shirt should say “Don’t tase me with a Cattlep(Rod).”
Gerald Posner knows that you’re still doing alright as long as Al still appears to be offering you a drink. When he points, run.
Dor Sho’Gah!!
We’re supposed to be funny? I thought this was a pedocopraphilia support group.
Hey, where the fuck is Fek anyhoo? I miss something?
Posner was thought to have invented the faceplant but he’s fallen once in his life.
I miss Beek.
Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. That’s the same Gerald Posner who wrote Case Closed? Fuck. Maybe Oswald didn’t do it.
Gerald Posner came out of the womb “the long way.”
*never fallen once in his life.
*scowls*
Nevermind my horrid attempt.
Man, looks like I picked the wrong afternoon to get stuck in a meeting.
Posner was named after the two substances his mother consumed in large quantities while she was pregnant: Post cereal and pilsner.
Gerald Posner can’t get his Edgar suit to fit right either.
Vince from Sham-Wow + Ron Pearlman = Gerald Posner
Gerald Posner’s face is low-carb.
Posner gets pissed off when you walk up to him and ask “Aren’t you Chris Kattan?”
Gerald Posner’s morning routine includes shit, shower, sculpt face, and shave.
Why Al? What happened to da Beeksters?
WTF is going on around here?
Gerald Posner takes painkillers to help him forget about the people mining in his cheeks.
The Gerald Posner sextape is Japan’s 2 Girls 1 Cup.
Gerald Posner recieved a cease and desist order from Gumby.
Gerlad Posner is hankering for some Eloi.
Gerald Posner’s wrestling name is “Stone Face” Steve Austin.
If you set Posner’s face to music, you’d hear Dio’s Holy Diver album.
Gerald Posner’s face scares you into switching the “i” and “e” rule.
Gerald Posner’s face has a faux hawk.
Crappy – you get Chatzy at work?
Gerald Posner’s mother suffers from vaginal dentata.
Gerald Posner once bit down on a pufferfish and it instantly died from Botulinum toxin poisoning.
Gerald Posner is actually a highly evolved baboon from the future. When no one’s looking he likes to pull windscreen wipers from cars.
Gerald Posner was willed into being during a Hunter S. Thompson flashback.
Gerald Posner visited Norte Dame Cathedral and contracted quasimodo’s revenge.
When Gerald Posner visited Yosemite, he beat out El Capitan as the largest rock face in the park.
Gerald Posner’s face was the speedbag in Rocky 2 and again in Rocky 4, but was never credited in either.
Gerald Posner bought his watch because he thought it had a picture of his face on it.
Gerald Posner’s face went Nugnuts.
Al – No (shakes fist at IT Nazis) I’ll check in tonight… 8ish our time.
“This movie is going to be the bomb!” -Tao Chang, Nagasaki Tribune.
Gerald Posner huffs Jenkem Zepplins.
Gerald Posner got his wife the necklace in the photo for their first anniversary because whenever she wore it, he would be with her twice.
Gerald Posner’s face tries to smash Super Mario in all of the castles.
Gerald Posner’s dad was the model for Mr. Potato Head.
Little Rock, Arkansas was Big Rock until Gerald Posner was born.
Or maybe it went fugnuts.
Much like Gerald Posner’s botox surgeon, we are surprised to learn there is still much left to be jabbed here.
Watchmen looks pretty damn close to the comic. That Ramses password looks like it sticks to the original ending. I mean…
Gerald Posner is an unlockable character in Clayfighter.
Gerald Posner’s face looks like a fucking skull pinata, if you haven’t been getting my jokes.
Tony Robbins thought his life sucked until he met Gerald Posner.
Gerald Posner beat the Himalayas in a headbutting contest.
I get hard everytime Jeffrey Dean Morgan gets defenestrated.
Why am I suddenly wanting to visit a Polynesian island in the South Pacific Ocean?
Gerald Posner was born when New Hampshire’s “Old Man of the Mountain” collapsed.
boPa – To get some of those bomb ass coconut bras?
Gerald Posner always walks in for free at Mumenschantz shows.
Gerald Posner went on eHarmony and was matched up with a coral reef.
Moai Moai oh yeah
chikka chikka
When a mirror reflects Gerald Posner’s face it gets seven years bad luck.
Gerald Posner was upset when Bob Seger let Chevy use that song he wrote about him.
You see what VaLince did here don’t you? That sneeky dago dropped a bucket full of bouncy balls in a room full of us kids and went upstairs to savage mommy’s nappy dugout.
Gerald Posner’s performance in Armageddon went unnoticed by critics.
I know, Diremutt, but I’m cool with that. TOYS!!!
Gerald Posner doesn’t get pimples, he gets volcanoes.
Those necklaces Posner’s wearing are for his part-time job as a ship’s anchor.
Gerald Posner has a big crack on his face, but it isn’t his fault.
Gerald Posner’s face is actually a sleeping fruit bat.
The Man in the Moon has a crush on Gerald Posner.
Should I have italicized fault?
Vince, don’t forget to tag this post with ‘Gerald Posner’.
My ski pass includes Owlhead, Whiteface and Posnersface.
Gerald Posner’s face sunk the Titanic….
yesterday.
Gerald Posner’s face has a second career as a stunt cock.
Gerald Posner uses a stucco foundation to reduce glare when he’s on camera.
Gerald Posner’s diabetes is proof that God hates some people twice.
Gerald Posner washes his face with stem cells.
Stupid Mexican. You can’t pour a foundation out of stucco. It is so totally NOT load-bearing.
Before he died, Steve Irwin bumped into Gerald Posner, tackled him to the ground, and started yelling, “Oi, CRICKEY! Eez gorgeous! I avent a cloo wha eet iz but eez gorgeous!” and stuck his thumb up Gerald’s ass.
Gerald Posner looks like what a really bad song sounds like.
Terrorists got confused and tried to crash a plane into Gerald Posner’s face.
To take Gerald Posner’s photo, you have to increase your camera’s shudder speed.
In prison, I played hand-ball off Gerald Posner’s face.
Gerald Posner will suck your dick for six dollars, but if you expect to shoot it on his face, he’s first going to give you back four of your bucks.
^^^^^^
Diremutt’s av just saw Gerald Posner hanging out in the YMCA showers.
Gerald Posner’s face was used to rally support to fight acid rain.
Gerald Posner’s plastic surgeon should go back and finish his degree at the Play-Doh mash academy.
Everyone knows that Arnold Schwarzenegger played Gerald Posner in Predator 2.
“hanging out”
…ew…
Gerald Posner hasn’t done a keg stand since the time that both his eyelids fell off at the Sigma Kappa house.
Posner?
Don’t hardly know her!
Gerald Posner’s has a Facenovel account.
{Does “shim-sham-sand-dance” into corner}
Gerald Posner has to use his cell on speaker phone all the time because that motherfucker won’t go no where near his head.
After getting stuck in the birth canal, Gerald Posner’s myopic doctor stuck the vacuum to his face by accident.
Gerald Posner has Jimmy Hoffa buried in his face.
For Halloween, Gerald Posner always goes as “your worst fucking nightmare”.
Gerald Posner tried using a Bluetooth for a while, but it got a cavity.
Gerald Posner cannot be shot from the side. He has no profile.
Gerald Posner gets mistaken for the Headless Horseman’s brother all the time.
Gerald Posner opens doors with a wink.
Gerald Posner was fathered by Iron Eyes Cody after a long day of crying at an EPA Superfund site.
…I don’t expect anyone to get that one…
Gerald Posner has the eyes of an angel and the lips of a rustic sodomite.
Gerald Posner got cut from Devil’s Rejects because he was “just too fucking creepy.”
Gerald Posner’s face won a staring contest with Medusa.
Gerald Posner can’t face his face.
Meeting Gerald Posner in person is exactly like a Flatlander seeing a three-dimensional object for the first time.
Gerald Posner is not appropriately frightened of Pauly Dangerously
When Gerald Posner was 7, he asked his Mom how he was born.
She said “Two words: Zoo Orgy”
Gerald Posner’s face gathers smegma.
Gerald Posner was born to be in the Broadway musical “Cats”.
Gerald Posner and Jocelyn Wildenstein are pregnant with a basket of kittens.
Gerald Posner took ‘roids for his face.
Astroids.
Gerald Posner keeps asking me if I bought my tickets to the “Face Show”.
Get out of my head Pauly. It’s not safe.
Gerald Posners’ hairdresser only refers to him as the Big Bang.
Gerald Posner was Max Headroom before Max Headroom was Max Headroom.
When Gerald Posner was 7, he asked his Mom how he was born.
She said “Two words:
ZooZog Orgy”FUCK-sed!
Not even carbon would date Gerald Posner’s face.
Gerald Posner has to grow a mustache Chia style.
Gerald Posner once had to battle 7 security guards and a frightened tour guide to leave Madame Tussauds.
Acne gets Gerald Posner.
Gerald Posner and a jar of Mickey Rourke’s scar tissue have never been seen in the same place at the same time.
Gerald Posner looks as if he smells of sake, patchouli and lavender. No reason for blind people not to hate him too.
Gerald Posner is the poster child for 13th trimester abortions.
Gerald Posner and his girlfriend each posed for one side of the Buffalo nickel.
Gerald Posner cums cement.
Gerald Posner is the poster child for the 13th dimension.
Drywall nails are like candy for Gerald Posner. And he eats tires instead of licorice.
Gerald Posner wonders why people ask him why he’s always stoned.
Gerald Posner has a face tattoo in braille.
Once, Gerald Posner changed his facial expression, but then there was that whole Hurricane Katrina thing.
For Jacktion!:
When his assistant asked what happened to his face, Gerald Posner put on his best british accent and replied “Sedimentary, my dear Watson.”
Gerald Posner when the International Squash Contest just by walking past the venue.
Gerald Posner’s favorite Morrissey album is You are the Quarry.
Gerald Posner turned his face inside out for a bet. A bet he made with Brother Wolf and Sister Moon.
To serve his country, Gerald Posner lets Army recruits use his face to rock climb for ROTC training.
Every 5 seconds, a baby is born. Every 30 seconds, Gerald Posner’s face kills one of them.
The original script for Indian Jones: TOTCS called for Indy to hide in Gerald Posner’s face to escape the nuclear explosion.
Bears, well cartoon ones, like to rub their backs against Gerald Posner’s face. Gerald Posner likes to sniff bears so it’s a mutually beneficial arrangement.
When Gerald Posner poops his nose inverts for half an hour.
Gerald Posner had Botox injected in his balls so his children would come out looking just like Daddy.
When you poke Gerald Posner in the belly like the Pillsbury Dough Boy he giggles like the Pillsbury Dough Boy. Mostly because he just ate the Pillsbury Dough Boy.
When Gerald Posner ejaculates he jumps up and screams “TOKYO DRIFT” then slaps the shit out of you…just like me.
Trisha Posner thanks the Lord every day for the blessed distraction that is her husband’s face.
‘Coz she ain’t no Michelangelo either.
Gerald Posner’s TV watches him.
Gerald Posner lost his virginty to a cement mixer.
When Gerald Posner goes swimming, he has to wear arm floaties around his ears and an inner tube around his neck.
Gerald Posner’s face looks like the full moon didn’t quiiiite make it out.
Don’t know if someone already said this, but it seems pretty obvious that Hervé Villechaize didn’t kill himself, but rather somehow grew into Gerald Posner. Perhaps the island fulfilled his fantasy?
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0898199/
You can’t tell by this photo, but Gerald Posner still has all of his baby teeth.
Wow. I have been too busy at work to be here much, but I saw this thread (which I haven’t read yet), and I thought I’d drop in and say 200+ posts: congratulations, fuckers. :)
Happy Tuesday!!
Gerald Posner is the spokesman for a line of Chinese sex toys. The brand name? Super-fun Go-lucky Gerald Posnerotica.
Where can I buy my own Gerald Posner Cross-Eyed BobbleHead??
Prolly the same store that sells “Skanky-Redhead EyeBrow Remover”
All of a sudden, I have the urge to putt a golf ball into Gerald Posner’s mouth…..
Gerald Posner = What happens when Mrs. Potato Head was drinking and smoking while pregnant.
I see Gerald Posner has played knifey spooney before.
Gerald Posner is the white Danny Trejo, but the human sidewalk
This comments section has turned into the first draft of Finnegan’s Wake. Except, y’know, longer.
Coke dealers.
That’s odd, I was just thinking about them.
finally Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurst!! canadian style
Worst Posner Ever?
Worst Posner Ever.
http://trishaposner.com/
hahahahha Apparently, 50 is the new 30. Yeah, right
Prolonged exposure to Gerald Posner’s face will cause birth defects of the Gerald Posner variety.
By the way, who is Gerald Posner?
Gerald Posner’s face is provided by the men and women of Local union 567.
Gerald Posners face is where your extra screws from Ikea fit.
Gerald Posner watches your mother tuck you in at night from your closet.
Gerald Posner drinks cigarettes from the carton.
Gerald Posner is descendant of Igoo, from the Herculoids cartoon.
Topo – that joke was used in the Rourke thread.
Michael Jackson thinks Gerald Posner is classically handsome.
Gerald Posner stole his skull watch from a seven year old at K-mart… after he raped him.
‘Topo – that joke was used in the Rourke thread.’
You calling me a thief?
*Checks thread Rourke thread*
Oh…My bad. I was just borrowing it.
Posner’s got the face that sank a thousand ships.
I got nothin’.
Aw, fuck:
http://tinyurl.com/7hjnwe
Who wants to send this thread to him?
Gerald Posner eats at the Olive Garden, and likes it.
Gerald Posner’s head grows back if you cut it off.
Gerald Posner is what Simon Birch would look like as a grown up
Gerald Posner watches the Watchmen.
Gerald Posner has already moved on to the new up.
Gerald Posner uses his wife’s anti-aging products. They apparently enlarge the applied area and give a rock like appearance. I wonder if she sells penis creams.