If you’re anything like me, you spend most nights awake wondering what Kevin Sorbo is up to these days. The answer is: starring in Tales of an Ancient Empire, “Albert Pyun’s long-in-the-works sequel to classic 80’s fantasy flick The Sword And The Sorcerer.”
You might also wonder what he’s doing with that big hunk of meat, which is something my girlfriend gets asked all the time. My best guess is that that’s how they paid him. I can’t imagine his asking price is too high. Dude, I was in Meet the Spartans AND An American Carol! Now gimme my f-ckin turkey leg.
He’s co-starring with Melissa Ordway, who’s apparently some kind of model. I imagine doing it with a model would be pretty sweet, but the closest I’ve ever gotten was the time I raped a mannequin at Osh Kosh. You ask me, kid was askin’ for it the way he was wearin those overalls.
[Thanks to RoboPanda for the tip]
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Ordway-Sorbo sounds like a Finnish curse word.
Donk: take out the hyphen and at a “t” at the end and it means donkey-fucker in Norwegian.
True story – after The Sword and The Scorcer I had a crush on Lee Horsley. C’mon, I know I’m not the only one.
Whadaya mean I’m the only one who was alive at the time to see that?
Did You Know: If Kevin Sorbo and Lorenzo Lamas were to ever make eye contact, a wormhole would swallow the universe.
**”add” a ‘t’ …jesus christ I’m gonna go sit in the corner for the rest of the day.
I don’t think anyone has ever seen The Sword and the Scorcer.
Kevin brought a turkey leg to a swordfight! LOL!
Kevin Sorbo + Lorenzo Lamas < Steven Seagal
“BY THE POWER OF FILETSKULL!!!”
I was working at that Osh Kosh and I had to clean the mannequin, you bastard! On the plus side, they did let me keep the overalls.
but the closest I’ve ever gotten was the time I raped a mannequin at Osh Kosh.
I saw that surveillance footage. My favorite was when the manager noticed what you were doing and yelled “B’GOSH!”
The Stath LOL’s at Sorbo’s career.
“Kevin brought a turkey leg to a swordfight! LOL!”
What’s so funny about that, Chino? I always bring a third leg to my sword fights. Ask Burnsy….
*does “thigh cock”*
I ain’t seen a hunk of beef like that since the swingers party in Kokomo, Indiana, hosted by the kids from the Nick Jr. message board. Like a bunch of 11-year old Peter Norths.
Overalls have got to be the best choice if you want to thwart a surprise raping.
Banner Pic: “Heeeey, this doesn’t weigh out to 224 grams, LOL! it’s just a QP! Nom, you’re such a rascal! LOLZ!”
Overalls have got to be the best choice if you want to thwart a surprise raping.
Not where I grew up. They act as an aphrodisiac.
I did some revisions for Osh Kosh at my last job. It was on a suspension for this big ass truck like thingy. I didn’t know they have a store. And why would their store have a mannequin?
The producers knew they had the right actor for this role when they found Sorbo working the drive-thru at a Popeyes.
If Osh Kosh needs a new mannequin, Kevin Sorbo is available. Will work for tofurkey.
they should’ve cast Brendan Frasier
New Up! With fake pee!
Not where I grew up. They act as an aphrodisiac.
Did you grow up in OshKosh, Wisconsin?