GRRR, AUTISTIC MUAY THAI!
01.20.09Chocolate comes from Ong Bak director Prachya Pinkaew, and though it doesn’t have Tony Jaa, it does have two of the best title card sequences I’ve ever seen:
From the bloodline of the yakuza… and the womb of a dangerous beauty
Which reminds me of a joke: What’s the difference between a Cadillac El Dorado and the womb of a dangerous beauty? …Nevermind. Anyway, I thought they’d never top that one, but then they busted out:
A special-needs girl… with a need… to kick some ass!
Best. Tagline. Ever. It doesn’t appear to have a date set for a theatrical release in the U.S., but it looks like you can already buy the DVD. It’s called Chocolate, or alternately Fury. Coincidentally, Chocolate Fury was my nickname in high school.
[via IGN]
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/global/images/default-avatar.jpg){kind=avatar}
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/02/bourneleagcyteaserposter-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/02/Spider-Man-150x150.jpg)
I jsut had a terrible chocolate fury incident. I blame that leftover KFC.
Starring Jett Li Travolta.
*claps like a retard at a circus*
Retard MMA is just around the corner!
J-for real, we might want to copyright our fucking idea. This is hitting too close to home!
OK, first “High Kick Girl” and now this. Chris Hansen was right, I need to start working out if I want to stay competitive in my chosen profession of predator.
Tony Jaa is doing a remake of “The Elephant Man” that is total Oscarbait.
I’m guessing she kicks the shit out of someone named Specialist Ed.
How can they have autism in a country that still hasn’t discovered the “vaccine?”
Wasn’t ‘Dangerous Beauty’ the name of that shitstorm of a movie about the Inquisition in Venice? I hadn’t seen that many inaccurate historical facts since I took my history final with zero prep.
MMA is now M&Ms A.
If she doesn’t rape a villager and take that mattress off of that pole she’s practicing on, this ‘tard ain’t got shit on Tong Po.
What’s the difference between a Cadillac El Dorado and the womb of a dangerous beauty?
Answer: Nothing, they’re both filled with leather.
Catching….balls!
*giggles*
Thats funny, my gran always tells me I am from the bloodline of an idiot and the womb of a slutty bitch…
Soundtrack by System of a Downs.
Her big kill move in the climax was going to be the “Chocolate Starfish,” but she dursted it.
Retard MMA is going to be the featured competition at ESPN’s new Fragile X-Games.
“What’s the difference between a Cadillac El Dorado and the womb of a dangerous beauty?”
That “new car” smell is gone?
Autstic Muay Thai is tough but it could never beat a master of Retard Kung Fu!
Does a martial autist suffer for her wok?
I always knew Asians and Mongoloids were the same thing
The difference between a Cadillace El Dorado and the womb of a dangerous beauty is about $500 on craigslist.
“Muay Thai” actually sounds like a retard blowing me a kiss and yelling “HI!”.
This is a scary movie for me as i spend a lot of free time volunteering at special needs hospitals where i molest the kids. now they can fight back? i’ll just avoid the Asian ones for a bit.
If the producers of this film have any sense, they will make sure “Chocolate” is a double feature at the drive-in with “Black Dynamite.”
The punchline is “I don’t have a Cadillac in my garage”, for those unfamiliar with dead baby jokes.
Has anyone see Pauly? He’s not at the inauguration with his knife collection, is he?
“Uh oh, almost time for whoop-ass, definitely definitely”
First Matrix Cat, then Chocolate.
…and the theme for today’s Filmdrunking is “Things that are bad for dogs!”
“Uh oh, almost time for whoop-ass, definitely definitely”
::: finishes kicking ass, surveys ground :::
“Yeah, that’s eleven… eleven teeth. Three incisors, seven bicuspids and a molar. That molar has a cavity, which can be dangerous, if he lives he should see a dentist… yeah, a good dentist…”
New up.
A special needs girl…that needs to keep what we did a secret. What can I say, I’m a sucker for cross-eyes and drool.
She doesn’t actually have autism. Techically it’s only mild askickers.
Rain Man was originally about an autistic kick boxer. Was going to be called Ring Man. No?