Fighting, a first look at which I brought you yesterday, and which my friends at CagePotato have so astutely dubbed Not Another Teen Movie About Underground MMA, now has a trailer. It’s pretty much exactly what you’d expect, complete with shitty Linkin Park soundtrack and a Cung Le cameo. The only surprise is that Channing Tatum’s character is more wigger-y than you’d expect. I guess that’s supposed to differentiate it from Never Back Down, The O.C. of underground fight club movies. But even if Fighting‘s slightly better at disguising its shameless pandering to whatever’s hip these days, I’m still giving Never Back Down the realism edge. I just think underground fight clubs are more likely in the ‘burbs than in the ghetto. No matter how good at Jiu-Jitsu you are, it’s still no match for Mexican Judo. …I mean, I didn’t mean to imply that only Mexicans live in the ghetto… I just meant that everyone in the ghetto has weapons. Because they’re minorities, you see. Wait! No, that came out wrong too… Crap, I’m gonna get letters about this aren’t I.



But where are the lesbians?
We don’t have underground fighting in the ‘burbs because all of our undergrounds are filled with meth fumes.
Growing up in the suburbs, I had a backyard wrestling league and a fight club! We didn’t use MMA, though.
Terrence Howard brings grit and realism to this movie.
He’ll sell them to you for a good deal if you’re interested.
I have two letters for you, Vance…
They’re from Silence Dogood! We can find the world’s oldest treasures now!
Welcome to the CungLe!
“I’m gonna get letters about this aren’t I.”
Naw dude, Mexicans can’t write.
Right Pauly!? Pauly!?!? WRIGHT!?!?
If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a hundred times: if a movie about underground fighting wants to gain real acceptance, they’ll get Bolo Yeung.
There’s a part in the movie where Terrance Howard looks at a homeless actor and says, “Next time.”
“Maybe next time you put him in one of our fights… a TICKLE fight.”
Sure, it starts out as an underground fight club, before you know it, you’re part of Project Molemen and you have no idea what’s going on.
It’s a good thing they keep finding pretty white boys to star in these. There’s no way I’d ever believe a minority could become a talented street-fighter. That’s why I always used Guile.
“Welcome to San Francisco’s underground… home of the BEAUUUUUUUTIFUL!”
Underground fight clubs are nowhere near as heated as those underground talk-out-your-problem clubs.
It took years of training to get Tanning Chatum out of his original style – windmill.
Subway makes a mean Underground Fight Club.
I once tried to coordinate my own underground fight club, but that Saturday just ended up being a bunch of shirtless guys at my house, all sitting around playing Halo while Tivo recorded ‘A Shot At Love with Tila Tequila’.
Channing Tatum doesn’t look so tough.
I bet Richard Karn, Home Improvement‘s Al Borland could take him.
I started an underground kite club. It fucking sucked.
When are these movies going to get real and have the 2m tall, 187kg fat dude come in and waste like 5 of these scrawny punks at once?
He could even do His finishing move, the “Get Me a Whopper!”!
(Think Earthquake’s splash, but with a Secret Sauce enema.)
For those so inclined, He has a new blog post up:
dirtyhairy.blogspot.com
Tanning Chatum would get his ass kicked by Wen Wen.
Fek, when did you start measuring yourself in meters?
I heard that the only way to defeat Tanning Chatum is with a kiss of true love.
The only way to defeat Chating Tannum is with purple nurple.
Fek, that reminds me. My wife and I just started an underground fight club. Her opening move is always “The Nag” and I always finish with an “Oh baby, I’m sorry”
Maybe I’m thinking of our swingers’ club…
Underground fight clubs are all fun and games until you unleash the crab people.
Vy am I dlipping vis goo?
I once buried a fucking nine iron in my backyard. It was the best underground club ever.
Is Viggo!
The last time I believed a scrawny white guy won a fight was when Mickey O’Neil did it.
In the cancer ward, a lot of skinny white guys lose fights.
NOW is Never Baby Got Back Down funny?
How about now?
/I will die alone
Needs more Orang Utans and comedy biker chapters, preferably in Picklehaubes.
The last time I believed a scrawny white guy won a fight was when JonBenet Ramsey died.
/Too soon?
that came out wrong too… Crap,
Sorry VaLince, you’re on your own with that one. Mexicans have knives and tortillas n shit. That’s terrifying stuff.
I fought in pre-school once……
Last week was rough as fuck, bro.
The best underground fight club I was in was at a cemetery, and I won all 47 fights.
I won a Digital Underground Fight by doing the Humpty Dance.
Chaffing Scrotum is the BEST actor of his generation.
I won a Velvet Underground fight by giving Lou Reed a handjob. That guy’s got some control, I tell you.
I go to a underground fright club, which is a place where people who often shit their pants come to talk.
Agent: Got a new movie for ya.
Terrence Howard: Can I cry in this one?
Agent: No! It’s a badass underground fighting movie!!
Terrence Howard: But….you wouldn’t let me cry in Iron Man, either…
Agent: WILL YOU STOP WITH THE FUCKING CRYING!? PEOPLE ARE STARTING TO QUESTION YOUR SEXUALITY!!
Terrence Howard: But….it’s what I do best……people think I’m such an accomplished actor when I do it……….YOU’RE SO MEAN!!!
*runs away crying*
A name like Cung Le seems like the parents were making up the name as they were filling out the birth certificate, then just gave up.
My new username will be Aimless Le On.
Harriet Tubman totally beat Whitey in the Underground Railroad Fight Club.
Stevie Wonder prefers the Higher Ground sight club.
I can’t believe they’re thinking of raising the price of Underground Fight Club to $3 a trip.
Jack!-The Mighty Feklahr tries to remember to use metric whenever possible. 7cm sounds SO much bigger that 3 inches!
…
Dor sho gha!
Bah! Lince must still be on the West Coast. He probably hasn’t even rubbed off his morning wood yet…
Wow, I sure am talking about penises a lot so far today…
New Up!
Dor sho gha! GUY LIVES!
No joke, This was filmed downstairs from my apartment, the cab scene and anything in front of that white building… I wouldn’t watch this if they filmed IN my apartment.
“Channing Tatum’s character is more wigger-y that you’d expect” who cares – there is NOTHING more sexy than a sexy ass “wigger-y” white guy who could pin me down is less than a nano second… Yummy Yummy, give me summy… he is so fn sexy I cant stand it!
jane bordeauxxx