A “reboot” (that’s when they make, say, a Terminator movie whose plot ignores all previous Terminator movies) of Predator from Fox would normally sound like an awful idea, but the rumor is Robert Rodriguez is attached. I’m not a huge Rodriguez fan, but if anyone could bring this project the proper level of ridiculousness, it’s him.
A reliable source dropped us a line revealing to us that Robert Rodriquez and his Troublemaker Studios will be producing the Predator reboot for 20th Century Fox. Now here’ the kicker, the pitch being sent around town implies that the reboot will have more than one predator. “In the reboot a team of commandoes face down a mysterious race of vicious monsters.” [B-D]
Hmm, it took Arnold Schwarzenegger to kill just one Predator, so by my count, to take down an army of them you’d need at least… three Jason Stathams. Come on, make it happen. “Oi, if it bleeds, Oy kin take me shir’ off, now doesn’ Oy?”
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This makes my pussy as big as a house.
This makes my pussy as big as a house
Why did I double post?
Oh, it’s just the echo from my pussy being as big as a house.
GET TO DA SAZZ WAGON!
In this one, the vicious monsters will be Californians hunting down Arnold to get their refunds.
Oi Ain’ gots toime ta bleed.
I hope he puts a female Predator in this film that has big alien tits m i rite?
I’d like to see Hollywood rebooted via Pelosi and a snuke.
SPOILER:
The Predator is Danny Trejo.
In Rodriguez’s Predator, Carl Weathers will have a machine gun for an arm.
The reboot will feature an alien monster with active camouflage and dreadlocks, a hockey player from Nashville, and an unmanned aerial vehicle used by the Air Force.
Wait the fuck up…. Apollo Creed’s real name is Carl Weathers?
Mind = blown
Jesse “The Body” Ventura will be played by Sgt. Slaughter who will be played by me.
In Rodriguez’s Predator, Americans are the aliens, and Mexicans will be the heroes.
Rodriguez’s Predator is about a woman who keeps taking half his money.
Danny Glover won’t be reprising his role from the last Predator. He’s too old for that shit.
In the reboot, it’s up to Jesse Ventura to stop the Predators from planting explosives inside major American financial institutions.
I don’t know if I’m ready for Jason Statham to be governor yet, the original already turned too many action stars into politicians.
Dor sho gha! What’s next??? A Bad Lieutenant remake?
*puts disruptor in mouth*
The Mighty Feklahr understands Dateline NBC will be suing.
You one uuugly race of muthafuckas…
BTK, take a quick look at that banner pic. That is why guys like Him grew up to be MEN, and why our nation is doomed by the Jonas Brothers.
And really, is there anything hotter than a battered and bloody woman on the ground surrounded by soldiers with machine guns?
Fek, that is probably the truest thing I’ve heard in years.
*wipes single, manly tear from cheek*
“GRRRRR, FUCK YOU RYAN GOSLING!!”
Rose McGlowworm will be playing Dutch.
It will be considered a Valentine’s day present.
This will be completely updated for the 21st century.
“Get to da Hawwier Jump-jet!”
In Rodriguez’s Predator, the commandoes and the Predators all die after vampires inexplicably swarm the screen in the last 5 minutes.
What the fuck is she going to do, Pauly? Give the fucking Predator scabies?
Needs more Colombians vs. Jamaicans. And more Bill Paxton.
In the reboot, the commandoes are deemed unnecessary when Obama agrees to open talks with the Predators.
Rose McGowan will be the Predator. Just ask Rodriguez ex wife.
Predators are a metaphor for the obesity epidemic in America. We’ll never win while those two-chinned monsters are on the loose.
He’ll write a letter to them first, MIZ.
My Predator quote:
“If it bleeds….she’s old enough”
Can I not get away from the Obamanation in Washington right now?
Rich Rodriquez deserves credit for bringing sex with amputees into the mainstream.
*chodin swings into thread on jungle vine*
KAHHHNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*swings past thread and into tree*
Thanks to the reboot, the phrase “slack-jawed homosexual” will be huge amongst the kids.
so the danny trejo predator is just going to carry knives around for 90 min?
The predators make up will surprisingly look less like traditional predators and more like Rourke, Busey and Posner.
In the reboot, the Predator’s backstory will be that he’s just hanging in the jungle looking for a record deal.
Ryan Gosling doesn’t appreciates you cursing at him, but does appreciate your right to do so.
Thanks to Rodriguez, you’ll now know when the Predator is about kill somebody, thanks to a Spanish guitar strum.
And remember kids: two “thanks” in a single sentence, is better than no thanks at all.
In Rodriguez’s Predator, there will be a new style of intermission as all of the on screen characters break in the middle of the movie for a siesta.
In the reboot, Ryan Gosling will suggest to the predators that the source of all their anger might be from their own insecurities, and they should learn to love themselves before they can expect others to love them, as well. The predators will ignore him because his skull is too pointed.
Rodriguez’s'sss’ssss ‘Predator’ will feature a “guest direction” in which the Predator rants for 15 minutes about the first time he fucked a chick.
Rodriguez’s Predator will be even uglier than the original, as he’s already cast the title role to Juliette Lewis.
Rodriguez’s ‘Predator’ DVD will contain a special feature on how to cook crack rock.
Rodriguez’s Predator will have his photon laser in his crotch.
Rodriguez’s Predator will play the harmonica before killing the commandos.
Rodriguez’s Predator will have Arnold Schwarzenegger as the Predator as a result of exposure from the original predator that was not an alien, but someone horribly mutated from a bad biochemical warfare accident.
Predator.
Fergie was originally going to play the Predator but Rodriguez felt she was just too ugly.
Number one reason I love FD: Honest, hard-hitting movie news from the blog that takes drugs to look cool. Ok, maybe not hard-hitting, but definitely honest!!
Number two reason: Chodin’s entrances into threads.
Somewhere in there is Stathamese…
I love Chodin’s enterance into me.
This stuff will make you a god damned sexual Tyrannosaurus, just like me.
[www.youtube.com]
In Rodriguez’s ‘Predator’, the commandos will track the alien’s blood back to some shitty bar in T.J. .
This stuff will make you a god damned sexual Tyrannosaurus, just like me:
[www.youtube.com]
*winks at Pauly, continues to ‘bate*
Chodin and number two go together like Pauly and prolapsed anuses.
This stuff will make you a g*d d*mned sexual Tyrannosaurus, just like me:
[www.youtube.com]
In Rodriguez’s ‘Predator’, Antonio Banderas will silver tounge him into his villa and serenade him.
This stuff will make you a g*d d*mned sexual Tyrannosaurus, just like me!
It’s nice, but his chode isn’t long enough to reach my prostate.
Right before he offs himself, Rodriguez’s ‘Predator’ says “Adios…..Maria.”
Ok, there are waaay too many fucking restrictions on what we can post.
This stuff will make you a g*d d*mned sexual Tyrannosaurus, just like me:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xizJZeGfE34
In Rodriguez’s ‘Predator’, Tarantino will have a brief cameo as a coked out Cathedral Fig.
In Rodriguez’s ‘Predator’, someone will get raped. Don’t know who, but you can fucking bet on it.
I hope it’s a goat
I hope it’s Adam Sandler doing his goat impression.
I hope it’s Salma Hayek.
In Rodriguez’s Predator the Predators are really chupacabras that will fuck your chivos up.
And Cheech will be all “Chupacabras? Man, they don’t exist” and then he’ll get eated up by the chupacabra.
I know talking like a 5 year old drives you all wild.
In Rodriguez’s ‘Predator’, the Predator dies when a giant Churro gets dropped on his fucking head.
In Rodriguez’s Predator, all the palm tre- AAAAGGHHHH! VINCE IS ASLEEP AT THE WHEEEL AGAIN!
*ducks and covers, grabs Uzi, rolls out side door*
Chelle, all that “eated” talk is getting my balls heated…or it could just be this radiator that I’m resting them on.
Wounded and cornered, the antihero in Rodriguez’s Predator is being slowly approached by a hoard of menacing aliens. Knowing there is no other option, and damned be to honor, he wants to live;
“LA MIGRA!!!”
He yells scattering the aliens into the ocre morning light. He hangs his head, knowing that there can be no pride from victory taken now, but redemption to be found later.
Woot! Earned some transatlantic miles to get to that punch, but, I needed to make up for missing the fag attack on Gosling yester. Hope you understand.
In Rodriguez’s ‘Predator’ , the hero will cover himself in chorizo and egg to fool the alien.
New up with more romance.
Could be that hot pocket they’re stuffed into Chode…or it could be me *bats eyelashes with actual bat*
Fucking lizard.
In the Bollywood reboot, the hero yells “Get to the Chopraaaaa!”