My friend Justin sent me this clip from It’s All Gone Pete Tong, which he says is great, but he also liked Slumdog Millionaire AND Lost in Translation, so take that for what you will. I realize the clip is longer than I normally post, but you owe it to yourself to watch at least until the 50-second mark (I recommend skipping the part before that) when the Coke Badger shows up. That’s right, the Coke Badger. You’re welcome.
Send your Friday Free For All tips to lance@filmdrunk.com
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This guy lost a part in TMNT 2: Secret of The Ooze and his life fell apart from there.
I’d party with that badger.
That guy? Not so much.
I am the
walrusCoke Badger.I earned my Boy Scout Coke Badger when I was 12.
Tom Rothman just got a great idea for the Wolverine re-shoots.
BTW, fuckin Puayl, beat me to it.
This one time when me and the Coke Badger were hanging out, he bought me some fries at jack in the box. It was great till he started shoving them up my nose. What an asshole.
Wee don’t neeeed no cokin’ badgers!
I’m a Tea Badger…I mean.
Coke Badger has obviously had some work done since Caddyshack.
The only thing that sucks about coke is the drip in the back of your throat.
And that whole heart failure thing too
In related news, Lindsay Lohan’s nickname is “Coke Vadger”.
I love the drains. Fag.
Marijuana Wolverine is soooo jealous right now.
I once woke up with a Coke Badger.
*scrubs balls and taint with sandpaper*
I badger my coke, “Get up that nose!” “Break up you dirty rock you!” “Don’t stick to the credit card! What’s wrong with you?!” I yell at it.
I did coke for 10 years, then one day I found out it was just Pixy Stix and now I’m a type 1 diabetic.
I think that badger is building a space shuttle in the garage.
Hi Coke Badger. Tell me, what’s a little boy like you doing with big boy smut like this?
If our esteemed blogger makes this a recurring tag, it’s going to add to the Legend of Badger Vince.
“Change my pitch up, smack my badger!”
“I love the drains. Fag.”
We all do, but keep that on the DL
Coke badger? Don’t hardly know her!
He otter just say no to drugs.
I want to do coke so bad right now.
Meth Ferret just chewed his shirt off.
He’s a brave guy.
You guys haven’t heard of The Coke Badger Courage?
*pisses in corner*
Crack Cat said “Meeeeoooowwwther fucker I’m high!”
Smack Jackel is just gonna sit in the corner and keep his mellow.
I get it, the badger is like a physical manifestation of his conscience persistently “badgering” him to do more cocaine. Its like a reverse metaphor. This movie is going to be fucking awesome.
Rufie Rat doesn’t remember anything.
Nobody goes near Jenkem Jackrabbit.
PCP Weasle bit me.
Whippet whippet is one strung-out dog.
Vicodine Viper still says all the pills are for his back pain.
………………………………../
I’ll be good until May.
KJ Kangaroo knows that fire can’t hurt yo…aaaarrrrrgh!!
LSD Lemur can’t wait for ‘Coraline’ to come out. He has five gell tabs wrapped in foil in the freezer.
Opium owl wants to know where the hidden cameras are. Why is everyone looking at him?!?!
Acid Aardvark is having a bad trip.
Sherm-stick Shark just walked past my office window and tipped his hat towards me.
Ecstacy Elephant is waving a glowstick around and kissing everybody.
……………………/
I’ll be good for… wait…
………../
OK, that’s better… hold up…
…./ ……./
DOOT DOOT!!! Let’s GGggooooo!!!
Rohypnol Rabbit just put a little sumthin’ sumthin’ in your drink.
Crank Cougar is currently fixing the toaster. In the closet.
Ecstasy Eel wishes he had nipples to rub.
Fuck
Mushroom Marmoset is laying in the lawn, laaaauuuuggghhhiiiinnnggggg…..
Heroin Hamster….is…………slee……….sleepy.
All of Heroin Horse’s teeth just fell out.
Robotripping racoon has a stomach ache :(
*takes foot off Pauly’s dick*
sorry, man
Occurances like this are becomming more and more commom between the wild coke badger and humans as we continue to impede on the badger’s natural habitat.
We’re even
Jenkem Jackal just barfed in the clothes hamper.
You’re odd.
Huff Bag Bison doesn’t give a fuck if you shoot at him from the train.
Oxycontin orangutan just shoved a tree up his ass.
GHB Giraffe can’t feel his hands and wonders how he can feel his hands if they’re his own hands.
PCP Liger feels goddamn special today.
Crack Rock Racoon just stole your TV.
Steroid Sloth has a terrible case of bacne and is demanding that you ‘bring it’
Free Base Ferret just lit his afro on fire.
Dick Addicted Ex Girlfriend just called.
Slag Slamin Salamandar is CERTAIN the people that live across the street are FUCKING WATCHIN HIM!!!
Coke Badger only turned to drugs when his brother Heath Badger died.
Awesome flick. :)
That’s all.
Power Porpoise just satisfied his blow hole.
Peyote Penguin just saw the fucking Lizard King!
Barbituate Bear just couldn’t give a shit.
Weed Wallabee umm….he just..umm..he was going to…eh..he just wants some tacos from Jack in the Box.
Bitchy Boss just came by and wanted to know why Maria Bello had nic cage stickers on her nipples.
Mescaline Mouse is feeling “the fear.”
Indica Iguana would loooove some double stuffs right now… man.
Speedball Sloth moved 2 feet in 3 days.
Toad Licking Lemur is tripping goddamn balls, I mean, FUCK!
Mr D, why wouldn’t she?
Special K Kangaroo is staring at his pouch.
Angle Dust Bunny is getting wierd on your sock drawer.
NuvaRing Nancy is complaining of vaginal discomfort.
Crestor Cat has an LDL of less than 170.
so weird he got wierd
ass.
My Big Fat Greek Wedding SUCKS!
Spay some Windex on it Jack! that fixes everything.
<== had to watch with chick, but got blown :)
Cannabis Canary totally has a prescription. He has glaucoma, you know.
Peyote Parrot sometimes thinks he’s walking. And then he throws up.
I used to use coke almost every day for 3 years. Then I took the Pepsi challenge and never went back.
So, like…his twin brother is a dick and all, but he didn’t have to shoot him.
I used to do coke. It kept my shaft from getting chafed.
Narc Nightgale says you’re all under arrest.
Where can I start a protest for this? This film clearly glamorizes not only drug use, but shooting people. Wait…no…actually I’m all for that. Carry on.
Hell hath no furry like a badger that really doesn’t want you to give up your drug habit.
What’s up with the Nick Nolte mugshot? Is he in this?
This video would’ve been better if the protagonist was so messed up on coke that he missed when shooting at the badger and the dog from Duck Hunt popped up laughing at him.
Methadone Macaque learned it by watching you!
Blast Bandikoot is chewing rocks in the shower.
GHB gerbil doesn’t remember how he and Richard Gere became acquainted.
Sizzurp Sippn’ Scorpion is getting crunk.
I can totally relate and sympathize…with the coke badger.
Pop Rocks Polar bear drank coke and died.
8-ball ape is smoking pole for fivers.
Somehow the adverts for The Uninvited having a “100% certified shocker of an ending is not appealing to me. I ain’t into assplay.
“
The last two minutes of this vid are shown all over the University of Minnesota campus before each Wisconsin game.
Diimbag Diatome is working the shit out of his flegellum.
Ambien Aardvark just bought a car off Ebay in his sleep and doesn’t even know it!
OK, dude really;
Dimebag Diatom is working the shit out of his flagellum.
Roofie Ryan Gosling doesn’t let you remember the bad things he does.
Energy Drink Elk is FUCKING PUMPED!!!
Snuff Sniffing Sandcrab is doing busy crab shit.
Tryptamines Turtles feels free without his shell.
Percocet Panda just doesn’t feel like fucking right now.
Cialis Chimp will be ready anytime.
Somehow the adverts for The Uninvited having a “100% certified shocker of an ending is not appealing to me. I ain’t into assplay.
As long as it’s those two girls in the ad getting the shocker, I’m all for it.
Androstene abominable snowman doesn’t really need performance enhancing drugs he just takes them to fit in.
Tweeker Tortoise is diggin for gold in the flowerbed.
Thebaine Tapir can’t keep his eyes open.
Diet Coke Badger doesn’t seem too intimidating, until he pours Bacardi all over you.
Slimfast seal has a shake for breakfast, a shake for lunch, then a sensible dinner.
Vicodin Velociraptor is feeling awesome and thanks you for asking.
Valtrex Viper is taking charge but is still experiencing a dry spell.
Mr_Drummond I don’t think you quite get “it”.
Yayo Yak feels like he can take on the world just as soon as he fights with his father.
Xanax Zebra hopes no one notices she’s a cutter.
Ritalin Rhino would love to chat with you if he could only sit still and concentrate.
Vince, seriously, just change your last name to Martini already.
<—- Just realized the fucking badger sold him flour.
What, slimfast isn’t a drug?
UGK Kangaroo has a “Pouch full of stooooooones.”
QP Koala swears he isn’t slingin’ any.
Krylon Cricket prefers gold over silver, although either will do in a pinch.
GHB Giraffe is sooooo hiiiiiigh…
Dank Dingo shwags his tail and says “Hi.”
Adrenacone Antelope wants to take a swim.
Rehab Raccoon is staging an intervention for Crappy.
Aderall Anteater is stopping until he gets every one of those tasty little fuckers.
Nitrous Newt thinks this DJ is the shit.
Rocky Racoon was a song on the White album.
Benzadrine Barnacle is not just gonna stick to this fucking pier all day goddammit!
Ketamine Kestrel is not letting go of this branch, not now, not ever!
In that video, most people respected the badger. Everyone respected the gun.
Green Bud Gazelle is just gonna hang out… graze… you know, chill… and graze.
Holy shit you guys know a lot of drugs. Colour me surprised.
Not you guys….just crapbasket.
Somebody get that badger back the set of Meet The Feebles, where he belongs.
“Penelope Pussy” is Cocaine kitty’s stripper name.
Crappy – we should party. I’ll bring the wine, you bring your pharmacy.
That whole vid seems like a coked-up remix of the “Just 2 Guyz” vid.
Deal, Hot Lips.
Cronic Cockroach wants to know if you’re gonna finish eating that.
Laudanum Leopard is gonna just sit here… and … like… look at… that thing, over… there…
Cheesehead Cheetah just hoarked in the kitchen sink. Again.
Remember Kiddies, Hashish Hippo sayz, “No burn, no head change!”
Darvoset the Dead Horse wants Crappy to stop beating the fuck out of him.
Oh ya, fuck you horse!
As a Minnesota resident, Coke Badger and Cheesehead Cheetah really piss me off.
Buprenorphine Buzzard wants to know if you have Coke Badger’s cell number.
Promethazine Pauly is chin-chilling.
El Topo Rojo used to chill with Hashish Hare.
Norco Narwhal thinks Vicodin Viper is a fuckin’ lightweight.
Oxycontin Tonkinese just called Norco Narwhal a pussy.
Tina Macaw just wants to dance and bareback at the club.
Now Tina Macaw has AIDS.
Let that be a lesson to you all: don’t have sex with parrots.
Diflucan Toucan just wants her crotch to stop burning.
Shouldn’t have fucked a parrot.
For a second I thought Robo was Jacktion!.
I need to lay off whatever Khat Koala is putting in my bong.
<— Cupcake Dog could quit anytime he wants to. Now just GIVE HIM THE FUCKING CUPCAKE!
Depakote Coyote has two things Gary Busey needs.
THINK OF THE COKE BADGERS!
Endocet Marmoset wants to chill with Oxycontin Tonkinese.
Pauly, I almost said Endocet Marmoset was thinking about the coke dealers.
We’ll call you Edward James Almost.
Oxycodone Olmos can store his pills on his face.
Nulytely Monkey wishes he were dead.
Methadone Minx is trying to get back on her feet and raise her kits.
Seroquel Squirrel wishes he felt alive.
Psilocybin Porcupine is tripping balls while playing Sonic the Hedgehog.
Soma Salmon wants to swim upsteam to mate, but just can’t move.
Fentanyl Finch flew right into a window.
Huffin’ Halibut swears he hears Gilbert Godfrey and Bobcat Goldwaith arguing in his head.
Actiq Aardvark is watching the TV watch him.
Ricky ‘Rock-man’ Rabbit hides his ‘shake’ in his Headbangers Ball jacket.
Duramorph Dachshund wonders where his body ends.
MUSE Goose knows there are pills for erectile dysfunction now. He just really likes jamming things in his urethra.
Roxanol Roadrunner is just very vulnerable right now.
That’s right.
Urethral suppositories.
Nightmare fuel.
Darvocet Dingo has the munchies and is eyeing your baby.
Biphetamine Baiji is gonna swim his heart out of his fucking chest.
Dilaudid Dung beetle just realized he’s covered in shit.
But he’s content with that.
Morphine Sulfate Cordate can’t feel his fucking backbone right now.
Ketalar Kiwi can’t stop giggling at his beak.
Laudanum Ladybug can’t find the joint she rolled and tucked behind her ear.
Beer Bear want you to hold his legs up for a keg stand.
Roxanol Narwhal disowned his son Norco Narwhal for being a hydrocodouche.
Demerol Daddy Long Legs is having a real hard time walking right now.
Tussionex Tyrannosaurus Rex isn’t going to cough, or move, for the next couple hours.
Inhaling Impala wants to borrow your keyboard cleaner.
OxyContin Ostrich doesn’t want to take his head out of the ground. EVER!
Dexedrine Dodo bird just tweaked itself out of extinction.
Ether Beaver is Wha-Wha-Wha-Wha-Wha-wasted.
Ether Beaver is Wha-Wha-Wha-Wha-Wha-wasted.
Same goes for Freon Fox.
The only drug references I can make are in the Star Wars universe, so I present you with Spice Sarlacc.
Poke Badger is really starting to fucking annoy me.
2,4,6-Trinitrotoluene Tarantula is the bomb.
Polk Badger, on the other hand, is cool by me. After all, he set up an independent treasury, greatly reduced tariffs, and acquired the Oregon Territory, as well as California and New Mexico.
Toke Badger has a really hard time getting off the couch, and wonders who ate all the Cheetos, man.
Joke Badger is a dick stepper
Broke Badger wants to borrow 10 bucks.
Enzyte Elephant’s got your cheeto’s.
Smoke Badger hogs Toke Badger’s joint.
Reefer Rabbit is rolling a Camberwell Carrot.
Blunt Bee wants a honey flavored Optimo from the store.
Bucket Bong Beluga will drink the water for five bucks.
“Horse” horse has a bad case of the trots.
Eccy the Dolphin was a minor hit for Sega.
D-Lysergic Durst says: suck my tiny shrivelled balls.
Cabernet Cat has purple teeth and a headache.
Cheers, Chino.
Cabernet Cat needs to watch out for sulfites and try Aquafresh White Trays™ cause they are pre-filled to give you the perfect dose every time.
*clinks glasses with Al*
Purple teeth, UNITE!
Malt Liquor Maltese wants Cabernet Cat to know that wine is for pussies.
Maltese? Like the falcon? Hey I’m drunk.
Wrong thread. Maltese Falcon is a Star Wars yoga position.
Throws rocks at Guy Who Looks Like a Thumb
Cabernet Cougar thinks she’s still got it.
Cabernet Cat wants Malt Liquor Maltese to quit whining.
Cabernet Cougar > Cabernet Cat
Good call El Topo, but I’d still rather fuck Chino.
Cabernet Cougar listens to Danzig. Ouchies.
Malt Liquor Maltese pissed on Cabernet Cat’s scratch pool.
Cabernet Cat just Malt Liq’d her own asshole.
Cabernet Cougar tries to mark territory by spraying everywhere.
Cabernet Cat has purple teeth and a brown tongue.
Whiskey Wildcat sees the drunken mess that is Cabernet Cougar. Throws her a wink and buys her a drink.
Cabernet Cat downs the drink and says ‘talk to the butt’
El Topo Rojo has been checking out Cabernet Cats butt when she walks away.
Pill-Poppin’ Polecat is in the wrong thread.
*doesn’t need to duck Al’s rocks, as other Drunkards fly through the air and catch them in their teeth*
El Topo Rojo had to call animal control to pick up Cabernet Cougar.
Cabernet Cat has a Sauvignina from too much prowling.
<====Hummala bebhuhla zeebuhla boobuhla
hummala bebhuhla zeebuhla bop
El Topo, I can’t decide where in your avatar to place my dick.
Well he’s already sitting in my lap, so I don’t think he cares.