01.30.09 FRI FREE FOR ALL: OBEY THE COKE BADGER

This guy lost a part in TMNT 2: Secret of The Ooze and his life fell apart from there.

I’d party with that badger.

That guy? Not so much.

I am the walrus Coke Badger.

I earned my Boy Scout Coke Badger when I was 12.

Tom Rothman just got a great idea for the Wolverine re-shoots.

BTW, fuckin Puayl, beat me to it.

This one time when me and the Coke Badger were hanging out, he bought me some fries at jack in the box. It was great till he started shoving them up my nose. What an asshole.

Wee don’t neeeed no cokin’ badgers!

I’m a Tea Badger…I mean.

Coke Badger has obviously had some work done since Caddyshack.

The only thing that sucks about coke is the drip in the back of your throat.

And that whole heart failure thing too

In related news, Lindsay Lohan’s nickname is “Coke Vadger”.

I love the drains. Fag.

Marijuana Wolverine is soooo jealous right now.

I once woke up with a Coke Badger.

*scrubs balls and taint with sandpaper*

I badger my coke, “Get up that nose!” “Break up you dirty rock you!” “Don’t stick to the credit card! What’s wrong with you?!” I yell at it.

I did coke for 10 years, then one day I found out it was just Pixy Stix and now I’m a type 1 diabetic.

I think that badger is building a space shuttle in the garage.

Hi Coke Badger. Tell me, what’s a little boy like you doing with big boy smut like this?

If our esteemed blogger makes this a recurring tag, it’s going to add to the Legend of Badger Vince.

“Change my pitch up, smack my badger!”

“I love the drains. Fag.”

We all do, but keep that on the DL

Coke badger? Don’t hardly know her!

He otter just say no to drugs.

I want to do coke so bad right now.

Meth Ferret just chewed his shirt off.

He’s a brave guy.

You guys haven’t heard of The Coke Badger Courage?

*pisses in corner*

Crack Cat said “Meeeeoooowwwther fucker I’m high!”

Smack Jackel is just gonna sit in the corner and keep his mellow.

I get it, the badger is like a physical manifestation of his conscience persistently “badgering” him to do more cocaine. Its like a reverse metaphor. This movie is going to be fucking awesome.

Rufie Rat doesn’t remember anything.

Nobody goes near Jenkem Jackrabbit.

PCP Weasle bit me.

Whippet whippet is one strung-out dog.

Vicodine Viper still says all the pills are for his back pain.

………………………………../

I’ll be good until May.

KJ Kangaroo knows that fire can’t hurt yo…aaaarrrrrgh!!

LSD Lemur can’t wait for ‘Coraline’ to come out. He has five gell tabs wrapped in foil in the freezer.

Opium owl wants to know where the hidden cameras are. Why is everyone looking at him?!?!

Acid Aardvark is having a bad trip.

Sherm-stick Shark just walked past my office window and tipped his hat towards me.

Ecstacy Elephant is waving a glowstick around and kissing everybody.

……………………/
I’ll be good for… wait…
………../
OK, that’s better… hold up…
…./ ……./
DOOT DOOT!!! Let’s GGggooooo!!!

Rohypnol Rabbit just put a little sumthin’ sumthin’ in your drink.

Crank Cougar is currently fixing the toaster. In the closet.

Ecstasy Eel wishes he had nipples to rub.

Fuck

Mushroom Marmoset is laying in the lawn, laaaauuuuggghhhiiiinnnggggg…..

Heroin Hamster….is…………slee……….sleepy.

All of Heroin Horse’s teeth just fell out.