Bare with me, this one requires some backstory: First off, The Dude in Big Lebowski was inspired by a real guy, Jeff Dowd (left).  Recently, Jeff Dowd was working as a producer’s rep for Dirt! The Movie, a documentary playing at Sundance this year.  Following a screening, Dowd was discussing the film with Variety film critic John Anderson, when both of them exhibited some very un-Dude-like behavior:

Anderson told Dowd that the movie “was poor, too simplistic, too redundant,” says Dowd, who accompanied him over to the nearby Yarrow. When they arrived, Anderson told him their conversation on the movie was “over.” The debate that followed got so heated that Anderson punched Dowd twice, once on the lip.

“On the lip”?  Are his fists the size of chapstick?

Dowd is a big guy who is passionate about his opinions. Anderson is a film critic who wanted to be left to eat his breakfast in peace and lost his temper.  Anderson says he let Dowd “make his pitch” on the way over to the Yarrow. After his spiel, Anderson said, “So what?”  Dowd told him to listen to how the audience responded. “They’re sheep,” Anderson said.

AHAHAHA! Calling the audience sheep, that’s +10 film critic points.  $20 bucks he said with a speech impediment through a mouth full of curly fries.

“You’ve got so much power,” said Dowd. “Before you write this we should have more discussion.”

“He was accusing me of not caring about the state of the world because I didn’t like his film,” Anderson says. When they arrived at the restaurant he said, “OK, this conversation is over.” But Dowd wasn’t letting up, says Anderson, who sat down with a friend at a table. Then Dowd pulled up a chair and “continues to make his sales pitch. He wouldn’t go away, take no for an answer.”

Anderson told Dowd to “f-ck off and get out” and Dowd did leave, but returned ten minutes later with Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling (formerly of the Howard Stern Show) to speak on behalf of the film. Anderson had moved to a table for four and didn’t recognize Martling, but wasn’t having any of it anyway. Dowd “starts berating me,” Anderson says. “He’s a big intimidating guy hovering over the table. I got really pissed off.”

Dowd kept talking and Anderson got up and walked four steps, says Dowd, clenched up and hit him in the shoulder, chest and chin, and then his lip. [Variety Blogger Anne Thompson]

Come on, there’s a beverage here man!  Let this be a lesson to you, kids: if someone accuses you of being annoying, you should definitely NOT bring over a manic comedian known for laughing at his own jokes.  And if someone’s annoying you and they won’t stop, violence is the answer.