FAST & FURIOUS & BOUNCY & MEXICAN
01.28.09
Try a rest stop bathroom – Ooh, lightning bolt! Lightning bolt!
Brian Grazer has announced that he’s producing Lowriders, a drama set in the world of, uh… lowriders.
The project is based on an idea by Grazer. He was intrigued by the low-riding culture, which sees mainly teens driving cars that can adjust or have adjusted their suspension system. The culture finds its home in California and the Southwest, primarily among the Latino and black cultures.
Mister Cartoon, a Los Angeles-based tattoo and graffiti artist involved in the culture and whose real name is Mark Machado, is exec producing with Estevan Oriol. [THR]
I’m gonna get really white for a second here and admit that I’ve never really understood the low-riding impulse. I just can’t imagine looking at a car and thinking, “Well, it’s fast, comfortable, reliable, roomy, and looks great… but can it dance?”
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/global/images/default-avatar.jpg){kind=avatar}
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2011/11/Brian-grazer-ipod-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2011/06/Terrence-howard-loves-fedoras-150x150.jpg)
Additionally: the car in the banner pic is from my hometown. Seriously.
My testicles are lowriders.
If they cross this with Step Up and make the cars talk, I might be interested.
A license plate holder that says “Fight Like A Real Man” doesn’t seem like it belongs on a car that says “Cruising for Jesus“.
I made my truck a lowrider the old fashioned way: filling it up with day laborers at Home Depot.
A license plate holder that says “Fight Like A Real Man” doesn’t seem like it belongs on a car that says “Cruising for Jesus“.
The bottom part says “Get on your knees and pray”.
I went cruising for Jesus once but couldn’t find him. Turns out he was at his cousin’s playing dominoes.
Additionally: the car in the banner pic is from my hometown. Seriously.
Cause it’s your car.
Vindicación!
I’m diggin’ the new Pope-mobile.
I have been in my fair share of “Lo-lo’s” (as my people call them) and we usually cruise for bitches.
Not Jesus.
The film makers reported that they’ve been waiting for widescreen technology to finally meet the dimensions of the asses they’ll be packing into every scene.
I like the one’s where they have a plywood spoiler bolted to the trunk lid. Also, if neon lights don’t get you laid, well then you aren’t raping enough epileptics, are you?
There’s a joke about picking strawberries SOMEWHERE in here…
are they going to follow trejo around and just edit that to a movie?
I cruised for Jesus outside the Home Depot, paid him $20 to stain my fence.
Listen, I know you Gringos don’t understand why us Beaners make cars bounce.
But if you have a Puta in your ride with “tetas grandes” you would completely understand.
The good news is that the car found Jesus. He was outside the Home Depot.
Dor sho gha!
{Reads says‘s comment, flips through Rolodex and calls Warner Herzog}
I just can’t imagine looking at a car and thinking, “Well, it’s fast, comfortable, reliable, roomy, and looks great… but can it dance?”
That’s why your car never saved the rec center.
My low rider says Cursing for Jesus. The motherfucking meek shall inherit the shit out of this bitch.
I’m partial to the small chain link steering wheels, which makes driving with handcuffs ideal.
Note: my low rider is my slacks when I don’t wear a belt.
Pauly, I could do the same thing in my old Dodge Omni if I mixed the clutch and Ebrake properly. Plus, you can fit like 2 extra freshmen in the hatchback part.
@Pauly–the puta in my ride has lattes grandes. If my car bounces she will spill them.
But does this ride have a picture of a bull on the side door?
Jesus was quoted as saying, “How humble,”
I took almost a year but I just realized how fucking white you guys are.
As a man of science, the airbrushed tag on the back of my lowrider says “Dancin’ for Darwin”.
On the hood, and Aztec queen with triple D’s riding a black panther.
Cruising for Jesús?
In my town, that’s like trying to find a needle in a needle stack.
I have to check the Aztec Calendar tattoo’d on my homie’s back for the release date.
December 12th 2012?
That’s when Jesus is cumming.
I purposely crashed into a lowrider because I figured the airbags were filled with candy.
On weekends I go cruising for Jesus…or any other mexican with foreskin.
See… release…
…cum, come…ing…
Bye.
People who drive low riders only eat at Sonic.
I saw Brian at a truck stop rest room once. He accused me of being a Meat Grazer.
Some real O.G. mother fuckers once tried to run me down in a lowrider while I was walking down the street. I was really fucking scared and didn’t know what to do at first, but then I stepped up onto the street curb and realized that I, once again, was completely safe in Southern California.
Pauly, we get it already. You’re Jewish.
Burnsy,
te amo
The very first low-rider was actually designed to sneak into the U.S. by driving under a barbed wire fence.
Y te taquito a ti.
Lo-lo’s Pauly? Haha, I haven’t heard that term in awhile. I’m partial to “ranfla,” though.
Brian Grazer’s next project will focus on the fascinating culture of those little British kids who used to chase around hoops with sticks.
Us white folk would do the lowrider thing too if we didn’t constantly have to straddle roadkill in our cars.
“Carrucha” will suffice as well.
In my hometown, low riding was/is a white boy thing…
The origin of the lowrider, as told by my racist uncle:
Well, one day, dem Messicans were goin’ out to pick fruit or do whatever the shit they do fer money. There was so Goddamn many of ‘em in this one truck that the suspension couldn’t handle it and the bottom scraped the ground. I’ll be damned if dem Messicans didn’t think that was just the coolest lookin’ thing they ever saw and they been doin’ it purposely ever since.
Fucking RoboPanda stole my avatar.
I gotta get me a truck like that. and a firme hyna.
I’ve had this avatar since late Sunday night.
Keep it, though. Everyone should have a cupcake dog av.
Cupcaaaaaaaaaakes.
I suppose this could be worse, they could be…stabbing for Jesus.
I find that if I can simultaneously pop all four of my vehicles tires, I get mad respect.
@ chodin: you get mad respect, mang.
FAST & FURIOUS & BOUNCY & MEXICAN. Sounds like every time I have sex.
Fact.
Mirror dice make your car faster.
Fact.
Tagline for movie: “The lower you go, the wetter the ho.”
I think dudes in low-riders should drive around with plastic reaching claws.
New up, Slumdoggs.
White people arent the only who dont get it. Some of us hispanics dont either.
Viral marketing for Transformers 2: The Return of Jazz ?