Homophobic Turtle loves underground fight club movies, though his favorite is Fight Club.
Hooray, another shitty MMA movie! I may be mixing metaphors here, but Hollywood’s gonna keep squeezing money from this stone until it shits a dead horse. This one’s called Fighting and stars Channing Tatum and Terrence Howard. RopeofSilicon has your first look.
Small-town boy Shawn MacArthur [WHO LEADS WITH HIS FISTS, AND OFTEN, HIS HEART!] (Channing Tatum) has come to New York City with nothing. Barely earning a living selling counterfeit goods on the streets, his luck changes when scam artist Harvey Boarden [GRR, A DEN FULL OF BOARS!] (Terrence Howard) sees that he has a natural talent for streetfighting. When Harvey offers Shawn help at making the real cash [making the cash and having the sex has always been my dream!], the two form an uneasy partnership.
As Shawn’s manager, Harvey introduces him to the corrupt bare-knuckle circuit, where rich men bet on disposable pawns. Almost overnight, he becomes a star brawler, taking down professional boxers, mixed martial arts champs and ultimate fighters in a series of staggeringly intense bouts. But if Shawn ever hopes to escape the dark world in which he’s found himself, he must now face the toughest fight of his life [the fight against a horrible script!]. -Rogue films via RopeofSilicon
GRR, STAGGERINGLY INTENSE! With Terrence Howard as the mentor in this, I think they missed a golden opportunity. He could come in and be like, “Hey, man, you seem like a far out cat. You like beatin’ people up? Why not try beatin’ on this djembe drum? Ain’t nothin’ finer for spreadin’ the vibe, ya dig? Chew on it while I rhyme a while.” Look how sad he looks in this picture. You can tell he’s thinking about watching a mountain cry.




Usain Bolt had had just about enough of Michael Phelps’ bragging on his gold medals.
Fighting puts the “err, ow” in “Terrence Howard”
In movies, “natural talent” means you can top a series of real professionals in a sport. In real life, “natural talent” means the only reason people like you is your breasts.
Um, I have no idea who Channing Tatum (mmmm, Channing Tatum) IS, but who cares. Take it off, baby.
Eww, hairless eunuch
Dr. Steve, don’t forget a sweet ass that can really take a pounding and then the willingness to take one in the kisser . . . y’know . . . for the team.
New York City is probably the last place on the planet I’d consider going to with “nothing”. He’s purdy but he ain’t that bright, is he.
Wait, Erswi and Al told me I have natural talent….
I could be wrong, but I’m betting that Channing Tatum would tap like Gregory Hines if someone put him in a half-nelson.
Ouchie! I quit! You’re a meanie!
Oh good, Eibz, finally one we don’t have to pillow fight over!
Eibz! Glad you’re here. Lemme be the one dead in the middle to say “Hook ‘em Horns!”
Oh, and also . . . Fuck Slowhio.
My “natural talent” involves lube and my fists.
Yes, both of them.
I will still pillow fight you, just for fun though
So they couldn’t get Woody and Wesley for White Men Can’t Fight?
I have the scatalogical “natural talent” of not digesting corn.
Introducing Channing Tatumtots, the snack that tastes like gunt, because its fresh from the gunt.
I displayed some natural talent on the commode earlier.
Fun Fact: Channing Tatum gets a brazilian wax job once a week.
Channing Tatumtots, the only snack that combines semen and sulfur for that one of a kind sensory experience.
Damn, Mutt. I really need to start hitting the refresh button.
If by “staggeringly intense” they mean he has to fight on a tight rope over molten lava while drunk, I might watch this.
Channing Tatumtots, giving young girls unrealistic expectations that ruin their teenage years since 2002.
SPOILER:
This movie ends in a kimora.
This movie was awesome the first time when it was called “Lion Heart” and starred JCVD and that homeless black guy. I bet Channing Tatum can’t even do the splits while groin punching somebody…
Great minds think about shit, lTo.
Me thinks this is not what the Beastie Boys were talking about.
I have the “natural talent” of trying to inseminate women from the outside.
At least they got creative with the title.
Seems to me that Homophobic Turtle is totally staring down at their junk.
New Ponytailed Up!
Let me guess, when Channing wins the championship, Terrence Howard cries.
Looks to me like he’s gazing longingly at Channing’s third nipple.
Dancing….fighting….Tatum may think he’s so good at everything, but I will personally whup his ass at Madden ’09.
Wasn’t this already made with the master thespian Jean Claude Van Damme and called “Lionheart”?
Yes, it’s exactly like Lionheart. It’s also exactly like about 50 other movies.