Johnny Depp is set to reprise his role as Hunter S. Thompson’s alter-ego, this time as Kemp in The Rum Diary. TheBadandtheUgly recently got ahold of a casting bulletin, suggesting production might not be too far off.
SEEKING: CHENAULT A beautiful, 25 year old, translucent vision [Editor's Note: Does that mean Pale? Blind? Invisible?] from Connecticut, with a killer smile and a wry, enigmatic personality, she wears barely-there sarongs, sunbathes nude, and oozes sexuality in everything she does. She enchants and mesmerizes Kemp from the moment they meet: while both escaping a tedious, high-end party. Chenault is dating and possibly engaged to Sanderson, but clearly feels an attraction to Kemp. She’s a daredevil who loves to dance and drive fast. She gets into big trouble with a lust-crazed, violent crowd during Carnival in St. Thomas. .. LEAD. This role contains nudity.
Hey, I ooze sexuality (and mucus)! They go on to say (based on what I’m not sure) that…
Word on the production street is that Krysti Charron, the casting assistant is partial to Keira Knightley and Scarlett Johannson, but readings for this role will probably include a swath of relatively unknowns.
Let’s see… Johansson hasn’t done nudity yet, but supposedly has a “nude scene” in He’s Just Not That Into You, which is rated PG-13 so that’s bullshit… Keira Knightley, only if by “killer smile” you mean “a stupid pout thing she does in every picture”. …In conclusion, something something Zac Efron something “Cum Diary.” Boy, this site really writes itself sometimes.
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I heard that Bex would really like to engage in relations with Kiera Knightley.
I’m no expert on names, but I’m willing to bet Krysti is a cunt.
We were somewhere around Tobago, in the Caribbean, when the drugs began to take hold
I ooze sexuality as well. And also semen.
OK, it’s more of a spurt than an ooze but you get the idea.
“Body Shaping With Keira” had to be cancelled when the host blew away in a stiff breeze.
I’m worried for the production. Where will Hollywood ever find a girl willing to act like a free-spirited slut in a movie?
My Rum Diary reads like this:
1/13 8:32 p.m. – “Let’s do some shots.”
1/14 8:32 a.m. – “Not guilty, your honor.”
This will be Dakota Fanning’s breakout “adult” role.
Why has no one brought up the chick who showed her bush in that Bill Murray roses movie?
thanks Donk!
Not to be confused with Shawn Kemp’s Cum Diary.
just fucking look at her pictures, she’s hot!!
*passes Bex a piss boot*
Start your day off right, chum.
veBr — not translucent enough.
My cum diary is sealed shut.
My Rim Diary is nearly completed. I just need the climax.
A beautiful, 25 year old, translucent vision
Rose McGowan wants to know if one out of three is close enough.
Eddy Curry’s Cummel Diary
So anyway, Johnny Depp has replaced his Tim Burton milieu with the “drunk on rum in the Caribbean” milieu.
Rose McGowan would be a mistake. Sanderson hates that bitch.
My Bum Diary is almost done. I just need Red who stays at the park down the street to sign over his life story rights for a tin of sardines.
She gets into big trouble with a lust-crazed, violent crowd during Carnival in St. Thomas.
Like when white chicks hang around the food court.
She’s a daredevil who loves to dance and drive fast.
I hear Michelle Rodriguez will be available in approximately 178 more hours.
My Gum Diary will be compiled into a trilogy: the Spearmint Twins, the Hubba Bubba Hos, and the Juicy Fruits.
Lester, my Gum Diary is just old ladies with no teeth.
Maybe I should blog about that Eddy Curry thing to help get it out of my system…
That dress by Rene Zellwigger the other day was her audition for this role.
My Dum Diary is a series of empty pages that have been crumpled by my attempts to write haikus with a pen taped to my dick.
Dr., you need to put the pin inside your dick to get better control. It takes an expert to put an arc compass in there.
Right now on Ebay, you can get a Johnny Depp pill box for $10. Thanks, Google Ads!
Val Kilmer is contracted to to play the lead in Mrs. Smith’s Crumb Diary.
My Drum Diary is exactly what it sounds like it should be.
… a list of all the women and children I’ve beaten over the years.
My Haradrim Diary is about to get a new entry — off to pick up Lord of the Rings: Conquest and act like a 13-year-old for a few hours. Later, bitches!
new up
My Mum Diary is almost complete…
‘Ere, Prince Charlie: mind if I shag yer mum, guvnah?