In this new poster for Obsessed (boring trailer after the jump), Ali Larter shows that when you’re a white girl, the best way to steal a black girl’s man is to arch your back as much as possible in a desperate attempt to make your ass look bigger. Boy, if I had a nickel for every time I used that one.
In related news, I’d like to marry a girl named Beyoncé. That way I could go to fancy dinner parties and say to people, “Hi, nice to meet you. And have you met my fiancée, Beyoncé?”
[via Cinematical]
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Her plan is to start sucking in movies like she does in TV shows like Heroes?
Ali Larter is a Julia Stiles for the 30-something crowd.
Notation under Beyonce’s picture: *Ego continued on next poster.
Bullshit, all’s fair when Raw is War!
So is Ali Larter now typecast as the crazy white girl who’s in love the big bald black guy??
I think the best way to steal a black man’s girl is to be white.
Idris Elba? I guess I’d use a fake name, too, if I was cast in this shit.
Hold, the fucking phone. Let’s try this again.
I think the best way to steal a black girl’s man is to be white.
All this racism is killin’ me.
“All the single ladies, all the single ladies! All the single ladies, all the single ladies… better get they white ass away from my man.”
Seriously, there are Irish girls darker than Beyonce.
If I was this poor bastard I’d just go gay. It’s safer and less drama.
I’ve got 99 problems and this movie is 104 of them.
Oh, Snap! Check out the look on Beyonce’s face. What is that old saying? “Hell hath no fury like a black woman.”
This should be a Lifetime or BET movie of the week.
Jesus…the lameness knows no bounds. Ali Larter needs a new agent and to lose half her chin size. Beyonce just needs to go away.
Ali Larter has a plan – to never be formally addressed by Asians.
Beyonce is looking rather mannish these days. Perhaps her next album should be named I Am Sasha Vujacic.
Idris Beyonce Ali was a three time heavyweight champion with a lifetime record of 87-1-2.
Mo’ money….probably won’t be a problem.
Strangely enough, Harry Knowles lost his black man to a white woman, too!
Alternate Stereotype Title:
Obsizzled
Meanwhile, Harry Knowles will star in Obesed.
Idris Elba Ali Larter. Saw that and this poster and thought it was some kind of fucked up fraternity. Cause it sounds kinda Greek… alpha beta zeta house…
“is this thing on?”
Black people.
DOR SHO GAH! I was about to ask why the Mighty One had not made his joke yet.
Correction… His joke.
I’d like to marry a girl named Beyoncé, just so I could go to dinner parties and say, “Nice to meet you, and have you met my fiancée, Beyoncé?”
I’d just use every gift-giving occasion to buy her a Ouija Board and listen to her mispronounce “seance’.” Then I’d giggle, bounce quarters into her ass-crack and use her credit card for porn. But I’m a romantic.
Meanwhile, the other two members of Destiny’s Child will star in Obsolete.
In real life this would take place at the local Wal-Mart, and both chicks would be 50 lbs heavier.
Burnsy, I think they’re referred to now as “Destiny’s Red-headed Stepchildren.”
Beyonce should sing this to Iris Elway or whatever the fuck his name is.
[www.youtube.com]
nsfw – language
They are like 10 year’s old… they should be “Fate’s Excrement” by now.
I liked this movie better when it was called “The Shawshank Redemption”
Shouldn’t the title have white letters getting between black letters instead of the other way around?
and i meant 20 years old… gimme a break i ran out of painkillers this week.
Let this be a lesson to married men everywhere, if you let Ali Larter in your car, she will definitely try to fuck you.
Rotty, black chicks wiff red hair? You’re silly.
All Ali’s missing now is a man, a canal, Panama.
If he’s Elba, does that make Ali Larter Napoleon? Afer all, she just wants to get off Elba.
Beyoncé is the noise those cheap spring beds make when you fuck a chick in a college dorm.
“Beyonce, Beyonce. Shhhh, don’t worry on one can hear”
Honestly, when I first looked at the poster I thought this was a rom-com. Having watched the trailer, I’m still not sure I’m wrong.
Great I’ll never be able to enjoy a chocolate-vanilla swirl ice cream cone again without thinking of this stupid movie.
I may rent this just for the scene where Ali Larter boils Beyonce’s pomeranian.
New up. It sucks.
I believe they meant the tag line to be “All’s Fair when White is Whore”
If I had to choose between Beyonce and Ali, I’d just buy more chloroform. That shit is cheap, and I hate tough choices.
Sheeeit, white people always be gettin’ more letters.
Upgrade! Upgrade! Lemme lemme upgrade! And let me upgrade YOU to…
/sticks pistol in mouth
//pulls trigger
I think this movie would’ve been more realistic if Ali Larter was 300 pounds and unemployed. Ali Larder?
I liked the first time I saw this movie, in the 80′s, when it was called Fatal Attraction.
What was Erika Christensen unavailable?