Last week Disney announced it was fasttracking a 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea movie with McG at the helm. LatinoReview recently caught up with Mayor McCheese, who said he wants Will Smith to play Captain Nemo.
“I’ve been wanting to work with him for a long time already. That guy’s great,” he said.
Aha! I always wondered who it was paying money to see Will Smith movies. Maybe he also knows where all those people who watch CSI and Two and a Half Men who I’ve never met are hiding. So who is Captain Nemo, exactly?
He is a scientific genius who roams the depths of the sea in his submarine, the Nautilus, which he helped build on a deserted island. Nemo tries to project a stern, controlled confidence, but he is driven by a thirst for vengeance, and wracked by remorse over the deaths of his crewmembers and even by the deaths of enemy sailors. [Wikipedia]
Well the remorse part shouldn’t be hard. All he has to do is think about all the people who sat through Seven Pounds. Anyway, wake me when I give a shit about anything Will Smith does.
[Scientology screencap source]
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I’d watch this if it was being made by Pixar.
Finding Captain Nemo?
Banner pic: Will Smith gets another shade whiter…
Banner pic: The Fresh Prince and DJ Jazzy Dumbfuck Napoleon-Complexed Doucherag
Will Smith’s Nemo kicks it Big Free Willy style.
Nothing says vengeance and remorse like Will Smith and McG
Smith: Fine, I’ll do it once more for you Tom. But for the last time, all black people do not look and sound alike…SHOW ME THE MONEY!
Tom: Haha excellent!
I’m glad every possible topic has been used in movies so we can just remake every film ever made…NOW with CGI!!
McG script edits includes new rap about water safety:
Can I Nautit-lus? Yes you can!
Does the banner pic suggest that “Wild Wild West 2″ is on the horizon? With Tom Cruise as Dr. Miguelito Loveless? Eh? Eh?
The Weinstien Company wants to re-name it “20,000 Schvatzas Under the Sea”
Good luck getting Will Smith in water.
Captain Nemo’s crew just don’t understand.
Jayden is going to wonder why his dad is playing a guy named Captain Anymore.
McG is also going to re-make the Perfect Storm, only this time, its Captain Will Smith with a crew of inner-city misfits who have to learn to work together in order to defeat the storm and save Christmas.
If played by a black man, studio executives have agreed that main character’s name should be spelled “Catnin Neemoh” to appeal to the urban demographic. Also, the submarine will be re-named Soul Boat.
I hear the Nautilus has a bunch of kick-ass equipment in the gym.
*goes to sit in corner*
Holy shit, it’s cold over here!
Let’s all go see this movie!
…
NOTilus!
Dor sho gha, hi, Donk!
If he acts well enough, he might earn himself an Amistading Ovation.
I wonder who’s getting cast as his anemone?
Banner Pic: First press shot for new buddy motorcycle-cop flick “Chumps”
Banner Pic: From ‘Mo to another.
From one ‘Mo to another.
Fuck.
“Awwww WHAAAAALE naw!”
*launches torpedo*
“Welcome ta SURFF!”
LatinoReview recently caught up with Mayor McCheese to put him in their Quesadilla.
Stinky, He can’t decide if He should Nom that, or BONG! it…
…
BONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There goes the ocean.
The giant squid will be played by Jaden’s hair.
Fuck! I had him playing “Namor, the Submarinah” in my pool.
For the record:
This has nothing to do with the fact that black men love big white women.
Now that I think about it, that’s better as a question.
Lester Hayes Mayes!
I thought you were dead man!
Will Smith would make a great Punisher.
20,000 Neagues Under the Sea?
Holla!
I would rather see him as Captain Ahab.
“Where da white whalin’ at?”
Not dead — just sweating Great Depression 2.0. Stocks be trippin’!
Tom Cruise will play Captain Lou Albano.
I would rather see him as King Ahab — killed in battle by a stray arrow as he hid in fear. Then dogs lapped up his blood. And his wife was eaten by dogs.
All dogs go to heaven, right?
Will Smith dooms the ship by ignoring the Squid and instead trying to upload an image of Serena Williams onto his Capitol One credit card.
Why hasn’t there been a mash-up yet involving this picture, scenes from “Legend” and “I Am Legend” and, you know, the Xenu “legend” as retold by South Park?
“So, Will, got any beard ideas for me?”
“Katie, homes!”
Black Captain Nemo’s Nautilus features two types of bass onboard.
All the hatches on Black Captain Nemo’s Nautilus are spinners.
*Looks through periscope, sees new post*
DIVE! DIVE!
Will Nemo’s first mate be Tommy Lee Jones, Jeff Goldblum, or Lord Xenu?
Black McGesus created The O.G.
Zack Snyder: “I don’t want a giant squid in my movie. No-one will buy that squid storyline. Anyone need a giant CGI squid?”
McG: “Oh boy!”
Captain Nemo was Indian (dot not feather) in the original books.