WILL THE OSCARS GET JACKMANNED?
12.12.08
Swoon all you want, ladies, he just threw that baby 1000 feet in the air where it was liquefied by a helicopter blade. Not so sexy now, is he.
Nikki Finke just reported that an offer has gone out to Hugh Jackman to host this year’s Oscars.
While [Jackman] is very interested, I’m told that he’s not yet fully committed. …the people around Jackman want to know exactly what would be expected of him, especially when it comes to opening the Oscar broadcast. One segment Jackman reps are objecting to is the joke-telling monologue. “I don’t want that for him,” an insider told me. “He is an actor with big movies behind him and one coming this summer. He didn’t work the last 20 years to suddenly be a stand-up comedian.”
Seriously. I mean the guy already makes a good living running around with his shirt off, the last thing we want is for people to think he’s capable of writing his own material. This year’s show is being produced by the guys behind Dreamgirls, and the rumor is that they’re doing away with the funny stuff anyway.
Now that producers Larry Mark and Bill Condon plan to get rid of the joke-telling portion of the show this year (as I reported Thursday and thought a smart move: these one-liners are usually understood only by the movie industry and so inside that TV viewers are left bewildered), it opened up the possibility of an actor hosting. “If this is a different version of the Oscars than in previous years, then Hugh would be great. But I have no interest in him being Billy Crystal.” a Jackman insider told me.
Really? The only part I’ve ever enjoyed was watching Jon Stewart or Dave Letterman squirm after telling a good joke that bombed because everyone in Hollywood is so used to smelling each other’s farts all the time that playful ballbusting is tantamount to blasphemy. Or watching Sean Penn rush onstage to throw a hissy fit because Chris Rock dared imply that Jude Law is in a lot of movies. Gasp! The horror! Hugh Jackman’s a good actor and seems like a cool guy, but on the other hand, he also executive produced Viva Laughlin.

The Mighty Feklahr understands that if Jackman isn’t available to portray Billy Crystal, that Louie Anderson would be glad to step in.
The Oscar commity people are fucking retarded.
Unless they make him do the show in a Speedo.
Ya know, for the ladies.
A commity is a batch of retards. Like a herd of whales. Or a flock of horses.
I can think of about six Drunkettes that would like to have “…a Jackman insider…”
A “Jackman Insider” also thinks Ugly Betty is just FABULOUS
It’s all well and good, the joke Jackman knows was actually told by erswi back in june.
I throw babies down the shower drain.
You know who should host the Oscars? A robot with a baseball bat. The winner gets bashed in the head as they come on stage. You want this golden statue, you glorified Vaudevillian? Come get your beat down.
Two or three years of that and maybe Hollywood will stop taking itself so seriously.
I can really only picture him making sweet sweet love. Telling jokes? That wouldn’t go well.
“…and there’s my mate Nicole Kidman, Nicole where’s your lovely daughter tonight? Did a dingo eat her?” bahahaha
“…over there’s Brett Ratner who directed X-Men 3, does anyone else get a feeling their fly is down when they’re around him? Crotch staring must be an American thing”
I’d rather see Jackman host my Golden Globes.
“And now, to present the award for Best Actress, winner of last year’s Best Actor Oscar and recent head injury survivor, Tom Cruise!”
Goddamnit, I’m too busy to do much more than look at the pictures but I’d like to thank
the AcademyGodmy life-partnerVance for these pictures and haha Nom you’re funny.Nikki Finke sounds like some kind of liar.
Right Chino! Or my Sag Awards…wait no…that’s not right.
I’m pert I swear!
*runs off sobbing*
I’d donate a year’s salary to have Jackman do a Chopper routine at some point and tell Tom Cruise to Hahden The Fuck Up!
If I wanted a funny Australian to host the Oscars I’d hire Yahoo Serious. Or Nicole Kidman.
Or Bazza McKenzie. Or Steve Irwin.
What, too soon?
Seriously? No one’s on board with my bat-wielding robot host idea?
Nobody cares that the baby behind him is WALKING ON WATER?!?!
Soup, as long as there’s Robot fucking, you’ll find me right behind you…..
poking you with my erection and breathing heavily
Did Nikki Finke just say that the Oscars’ jokes aren’t funny because the audience is too stupid to get them?
Jackman won’t be satisfied until every child has had a chance to rub his or her face in his chest hair.
Michelle, that’s lil’ baby jesus.
That kid in the red bathing suit has a nice butt..ered slice of toast waiting on shore for breakfast.
See what I did there? (avoided a pedo charge) That $3.50 I paid for legal advice is coming in handy.
Juan, you can Filmdrunk from your Jitterbug?
Forget that he’s walkign on water elle0, I’m worried about that dude smelling it’s ass.
I can’t get over how that kids ass looks like somebody transplanted a big camel toe onto it.
The only way I’d be interested in the Oscars is if I was able to crash the after-party. I wouldn’t even wear a tux.
GRRRR, SORRY HALLE, MY HAND SLIPPED!!
Of course there would be robot fucking. It wouldn’t be right to bash child actors with a bat.
New up.