After initially ordering a full season, NBC has decided to pull the plug on Knight Rider with four shows to go. I blame the collapse of the auto industry. Because there’s no way anyone with the right number of chromosomes could’ve possibly seen five seconds of that godawful show and decided people wanted more unless Ford was footing the bill. The closest comparison for it I can think of is a bad infomercial, which isn’t quite fair. I’d much rather watch someone clean up grandma’s drool with a Sham-Wow than watch this tool act continually surprised. This was so bad it made the David Hasshoff version look good. It was so bad it made the product placement in Transformers seem tasteful. It was… worse than Viva Laughlin.
Also: where the hell was this scene supposed to have taken place? Did they not even bother to cover the f-cking black background of the stage? Makes sense, I guess. “Oops, a guy with a boom mike wandered into the shot on that last take.” “Meh, print it, it’s almost lunch.”
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Somewhere right now, Val Kilmer is hitting a crack pipe and talking to the “Heat” DVD main menu.
My only guess was that the change in power at NBC was being accurately depicted on 30 Rock.
The Curse of the Hoff. Don’t Mess with the Hoff. Knight Rider without the Hoff is KNOT Rider (see what I did there?).
If there’s two things that David Hasshoff thinks are a fucking mess: it’s burgers and the ‘Knight Rider’ revival.
Puppy Bowl offers more of a cohesive plot than the new Knight Rider.
I always thought that Rider Strong from Boy Meets World should’ve been cast as the new Knight Rider.
Your Mom only fucks cowgirl style with the lights off. She’s a Knight Rider.
*knows that’s not funny but wants to be part of the cool kids gang*
They can pull the plug on Val Kilmer’s show, but they can’t pull the plug on his soft-serve yogurt machine he had installed on his night stand.
As Japanese car makers continue to prosper, TBS has just announced a new series featuring an antonymous Toyota Camry Hybrid, Knight Lider.
They’re not canceling it. They’re just waiting for the Gremlin to be restored.
Was that Madchen Amick on the Viva Laughlin clip? Be still my beatin’ cock.
It should have had a villain that made really bad theme associated puns a la Mr. Freeze in “Batman & Robin.”
CHEEL AGHOUT, Marty McBrundlefly
In spin-off news, Calista Flockheart will be starring in Slight Rider.
If there was one David Hasselhoff show that should have been remade, it was NOT “Knight Rider.” (Hint: “Baywatch Nights” Now that was some must-see, syndicated TV)
In spin-off news, “Little Penny” will be starring in Sprite Rider.
‘Knight Rider’: I really enjoyed this book, but I thought the rape scene with the Afghani kid was a little graphic.
NBC will replace Knight Rider with a Dante’s Peak TV series, in which the stars battle a vicious Volcano Taco.
Brett Ratner is directing a new TV show called “Astro Glider.”
In spin-off news, a doberman will be starring in Bite Rider.
Something tells me that the actor that plays Knight is accustomed to having plugs pulled. Then reinserted, then pulled. Lick, rinse, repeat.
In spin-off news, Jim Gaffigan will be starring in White Rider.
Al-Jazeera is producing a show called Shiite Rider.
At least you can’t say the show didn’t depict spy tradecraft accurately. It’s S.O.P. in the world of international espionage to turn your back on someone while your waiting to verify their identity. That way, if they’re not who they say they are, they’ll be less inclined to shoot you when their true identity is revealed. If they were really going for accuracy, though, that guy would have been wearing glasses, too. The only espionage taboo worse than shooting someone in the back is shooting someone with glasses.
It’s the little things that make a show click.
In spin-off news, the old writers from the Knight Rider series have pawned their computers and are now doing scripts on a Typewriter
NBC’s show that follows the life of a Jewish Boxer striving for greatness. Kike Fighter
In spin-off news, Suri Cruise will be starring in Lite-Brite Rider.
In spin-off news, a black guy will be starring in A’ight Rider.
In spin-off news, Vince is going back to his old job as a Flesh Light Writer
In spin-off news, CERN’s giant new atom smasher will be starring in Knight Collider.
Kimbo Slice has a new reality series called “Washed Up Fighter” and Amy Winehouse makes her acting debut as the title character in “Ugly Spider.”
In unrelated news, I went to the Ren Faire and stole some Knight’s Cider.
Are they still making that spin-off about the hot chick fucking the Jew?
In spin-off news, I will be smoking a bowl at lunch and will be known as the Pipe Lighter
In spin-off news, The Hoff has put on fifty pounds for a role in Knight, Wider.
Damn you JHC…I always thought that I was the greater racist.
*takes deep breath and retires clan robe in wooden chest*
I’d like to see a series about a crime-fighter and his talking engine-less plane, called Knight Glider.
At last, the long-overdue spinoff from “One Day at a Time” has been green-lighted…”Dwayne Schneider.”
After sleeping Ted from Too Close For Comfort, bryce’s grandmother called herself “Knight Rider” for a while.
Ron Gettelfinger has the job banks paperwork.
In spin-off news, the Queen of England has decided to make America’s infamous BTK KIller a “Sir.” They’re broadcasting it as “Knight Rader.”
BREAKING NEWS!
David Hasslehoff has been blinded in a car accident, and has bought a German Shepherd named Knight Guider.
Did we just get a One Day At A Time and Too Close For Comfort within a minute?
New up.
I am pitching a new reality series about people who make foolish comments which come back to plague them later. I call it “Ass Biter.”
Or how about this one…it’s a new show about a genius screenwriter crafting scripts with out-of-nowhere surprise endings…it;s called “M. Night Writer!”…take your hands off me.
“David Hasslehoff has been blinded in a car accident, and has bought a German Shepherd named Knight Guider.”
Dan Rosen’s sister is frantically trying to contact Hasselhoff as we speak.
In related news, I just posted a comment at quarter past 5 in the a.m. local time. Looks like I just pulled an ‘All-Nighter’.
Knight Rider is not cancelled! please visit [tinyurl.com] for correct information!
Knight Rider has fans? Wow, seek help.