WELCOME TO THE IRONY-FREE ZONE
12.19.08This story is like a bad joke where you keep getting sidetracked before the punchline. I apologize in advance. Here goes:
1. MTV has awarded female Twilight fans the “Woman of the Year Award.” …There’s so much wrong with that sentence let alone the story behind it that I’m not even going to begin. There isn’t enough whiskey in the house.
2. They then asked fans to film their acceptance speeches. The above is one of them. I. Could not. Stop. Watching it. Halfway through, my brain tried to gnaw through my face to escape.
3. Here are some of the comments about the above video:
WHOO-HOO Bailey!!!! love you girl!!!
omg…i love her! she is hilarious!
Bailey, you’re so funny! You’re so right!! We all know who that Man of the Year should have been!
Haha not really that convincing but nice try anyway. Still, let us applaud her performance. I certainly had a good laugh at this :)
gahh.. i hate fans like this..they make the rest of the twilight fans look as crazy as they do!!! not all the fans are like this that make stupid videos. twilight fans are being sterotyped as crazy obsessed.. stupid!
Lmao, for the comment below, if you’d go on her channel, you’d know that this is her act. She drew on the eyeliner and smeared it, and also told someone to call in like that in the middle. She’s hilarious. And she’s one of the most “normal” and informative Twilight fans out there.
oh okay got ya, comment below. she seemed like a crazy fan for real..
Lmao. That was totally awesome haha. :-D
LMAO! She’s so funny!
Dear Congress: EMERGENCY ACTION REQUIRED. WE’VE RUN OUT OF EXCLAMATION POINTS.
4. FilmDrunk is awarding its Singular Entity of the Year Award to YOU! That’s right, you the person reading this! We couldn’t have done whatever it is we do without you, you extra special precious person! Hooray! Bask in the glow, you mouth-breathing trained seal you! Clap your flippers together and have a herring!
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/global/images/default-avatar.jpg){kind=avatar}
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2011/11/Bella-twilight-breaking-dawn-wedding-dress-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2011/11/Twilight-breakdawn-2-150x150.jpg)
*Steps up to the podium to give acceptance speech*
BLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
I was going to ingest scorpion venom tonight when I got home in hopes that it would knock me out until Christmas. Instead, I’m watching all of these.
My tounge just came on my palate.
Wait…what?
My acceptance speech would go a little something like this….
*stares blankly*
*steps up to podium*
*looks at all the attendees in audience*
*slobbers down shirt, smiles like a retard at a circus*
Danksh guish! I weelee apweesheeate yor wub an shuportsh.
*still staring blankly*
http://tinyurl.com/69yry6
I’m going to assume that the reason I haven’t seen Fek is that he’s on his way to JHC’s to pick him up before heading to my place in the BTK van so we can ride out and find Bailey.
Well, I’ve had a fine time here with you folks, but it looks like there’s a regular commenting orgy with ol’ Cross Country Heat’s name dribbled all over it in semen. Watch out, Twilight ladies commenting at MTV… the Winnybango is fired up and heading your way. Oh, and y’all be able to read about it tomorrow on CNBC’s online forum for Diabetes TV.
“Hello, Comcast? Yes, I’d like my cable and internet shut off immediately. Yeah. No, no, for personal safety. Uh huh. Yeah, the Twilight stuff. Next month? Shit, you should hire more workers then. Listen, theoretically, about how much C4 you think it would take to- ” *click*
Please tell me that instead of ‘wrap it up’ music at the end of the speeches they simply usher these kooks off with electric cattle prods and a rabid badger duct taped to a long stick.
My irony free zones are the armpits of my blouses. I don’t really think anyone can see the wrinkles there.
I volunteer to wrangle the rabid badger.
(“Wrangle the Rabid Badger” was Jack!’s parent’s favorite band)
Gloria Steinem in ‘Apocalypse NOW’
*Tries to play that punchline off as though it needed a setup*
I’m not watching commercials on a viral video.
*didn’t need
Fuck. Twilight makes me retarded.
im proud to announce i am still twilight free, the infection has not reached down here you can all come down here for sanctuary
Baily?
Mor like GAYly!
*winks, and jacks of into Super Nintendo cartridge*
Yeah, I spelled “Bailey” wrong and if you correct me, I will fight your fucking face!
ZOMG LOL you can tell she’s totally distracted by that naked camera guy
<—— POW!
I hereby suggest our annual award ceremonies be nicknamed “The Fekkies”.
I’d hit it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Great news, friends. I hooked me a Twilight commenter gal. Her handle is LovesToFork1961, and she’s recently divorced from her second husband. Sounds hot, right? She’s gonna meet me in a little town in Oregon and I figure she’s one of these freaky chicks that likes to bone in the woods, so I’ll have to bring some blankets. Luckily, I met a girl in the comment threads at hercity.org, and after she let me deposit my fresh salt load, she taught me how to get my seed outta my blankets so they look nice and fresh. I figure vampire chicks gotta have class, right?
I think I know who CCH may be.
Anyone seen, err, smelled Crappy today?
Nevermind. The spelling and grammar are too good.
Alanis Morrisette is not a fan of this zone.
New, most fantastic up.
In honor of this post, my computer just cut itself.
I’d like to thank the dead emo whore stashed in my trunk for all the comfort she’s provided over these tough times. She’ll never know how much she means to me.
This is an insult to women.
I hope you can feel this, MTV. I’m hating you as hard as I can.
I guess she was really disappointed when Disturbed and Drowning Pool fans co-won Man of the Year.