WEEKEND PREVIEW
12.12.08
Weekend Preview is back this week by popular demand because I’m finally not too lazy to finish writing it. Click on titles to watch trailers.
Opening this week:
The Day the Earth Stood Still
Keanu Reeves has been waiting his whole career to play an emotionless alien. All the critics say it sucks but mark my words, before the year is out, a celebrity will name their baby “Klaatu”.
Delgo
This looks f-cking terrifying. Modeling all the aliens after Liza Minnelli probably wasn’t the best idea.
Nothing Like the Holidays
Debra Messing goes home for the holidays to meet her new Puerto Rican in-laws. Who directed this, Tylermo Perez? I still say it needs más Trejo. Somewhere, Lou Dobbs is pissed they took “Christmas” out of the title.
The Reader
See Ralph Fiennes track down the SS officer he had an affair with! See the film that spawned a thousand Jew fights! …As long as you live in New York or LA.
Gran Torino
See Clint Eastwood befriend an Asian! Hear him sing! …But again, only if you live in New York or LA. Everyone else can suck rocks.
Doubt
Philip Seymour Hoffman and Meryl Streep are priests and nuns. Hoffmour may or may not have diddled someone. …I said. I want you to act me. as hard. as you can. …But again, only if you live in NY or LA. Sorry for the inconvenience.
Che
If you live in New York or LA, you can see Benicio Del Tor- oh who even cares.
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![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2010/02/Eva-Braun-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/01/holocaust-150x150.jpg)
so my choice is “or death”? All right, I’ll have the chicken.
NY or LA??? What about Kalona, Iowa?
This is what I love about living in Los Angeles: taking EVERYTHING for fucking granted!
I’m getting high this weekend and watching Mystery teach some retards to fuck!!!!
The Day The Earth Stood Still: The weekend my wallet stayed closed.
Delgo: Del-nuh-uh.
Nothing Like the Holidays: Not falling for that.
The Reader: I’ll wait for the sequels, The ‘Riter and The ‘Rithmetic.
Gran Torino: More like Bran Torino *groan*
Doubt: Doubt I’ll ever watch this.
Che: Meh.
I swear to Kahless I thought it said “Click on titties to watch trailers” *
*Doesn’t read italics well
Yeah, what Donk said.
Doesn’t read italics well
Is the lack of moving-hand-visual-aids the problem?
The Day The Earth Stood Still: Won’t see it.
Delgo: Won’t see it.
Nothing Like the Holidays: Won’t see it.
The Reader: Won’t see it.
Gran Torino: Won’t see it.
Doubt: Won’t see it.
Che: Won’t see it.
Ahhh, the glamorous life of a new parent. So when do I get my life back again? Anyone? Hello?
That would be “doesn’t read Italian well” Donk, and I only need one hand for that.
I think it’s spelled “Cade.”
You know how they have stick-on defibrillators to get the heart restarted without having to worry about those tricky paddles nowadays? I think that’s what Keanu wears on his temples, just to be safe.
Erswi – I’m 6.5 months in, and have forgotten what popcorn tastes like.
No time for movies Dr Jones, it is Holiday Party time, blacking out in bad sweaters* all weekend from copious egg nog and Whiskey backs.
*no pants.
Guy’cha! Zoom way in on that brainwave scanner in the back, and He swears to Kahless it says, “Whoa.”
BANNER PIC: Why do aliens have Hasidic Jew burns?
FYI, there’s only one wire featured in the banner pic.
Some asshole gave me Klaatu at camp : (
This is the final weekend of the semester, so I’ve gotta spend the next two days rubbing my balls all over the students’ papers before I give them back.*
*As soon as the semester has officially ended, you can remove “papers” from that sentence.
God bless our teachers.
This weekend sucks fuck
Fuck this.
I’m just going to go see a band play tonight instead.
I’m going home to change poopy diapers. Maybe I’ll spend some time with my son, too.
One movie for $10 or 3 bands for $5?
Decisions, decisions.
well looks like imma gonna go watch madagascar 2
I think I might just go to the gym and cry in the shower. They like that.
BTK, Lince, He watched that X-Files 2 movie. Not too bad, actually, despite it’s luke-warm reviews! QAPLAH! The abundance of severed heads didn’t hurt the cause, either.
{in corner busily unthreading seam in pocket of pants, for easy covert access to schlong}
I’m going to go to the mall and leer at pretty girls.
Hey fucktards! Guess who’s the last one left in the office at the end of the day!
Dwight?
*Punches self in nuts*
Glenn?
I am not going hunting for that Mellisa Midwest post erswi, you asshole.
{goes hunting for the Mellisa Midwest post}
erswi-Him???
Unless you plan on staying til 730pm your time Erswi, it’s me. And possibly Cho (but he’s just busy toasting english muffins anyway).
DO u want Him 2 link 2 Melissa Midwest post, Crap?
Al, yo esta en el PST tambien!
Fek, sure.
I’ve had about all I can stand of Melissa Midwest.
And I’ll prolly be here until 7.
O.T.!
{peruses list of films}
You know, I really can’t remember the last time I thought to myself, self, I really want to go see that in the theater…
whats this i read about melissa midwest? what happenned?
…Iron Man…
…Dark Knight…
Did someone say English Muffins? I just got a text
Crap, Dark Knight. I didn’t even want to see Iron Man but it was all that was bearable the weekend my wife and I went. It was not terribly sucky.
durst
Oh I see what’s going on, it’s 5:00 for most of them. Hang out with me, Bex?
{slides across bench until uncomfortably close to Al}
I’m still here Houlihan.
WOO! You’re not making me uncomfortable, Crappy.
Call me Hot Lips and you’re in business.
Who the hell is this “employer” person, and why do they think they can ask me to do this “work” thing!? They don’t know who the fuck I am!
BRB Hot Lips.
D
U
R
S
T
Is “Hot Lips” what your gynecologist calls you, Al?
I think as a personal favor to me, this site should have less Jason Statham and more Keanu Reeves photos. “I Know Kung Food” picture is acceptable because it makes me laugh.