In Two Lovers, Joaquin Phoenix is caught in a love triangle between Gwyneth Paltrow and Vinessa Shaw. Must be an Isosceles triangle, youknowwhatahmsayin? *holds up fist, looks around for math pound*
As you can see, Vinessa Shaw is pretty hot in spite of her annoying misspelled name. Alternate title for this movie? It’s So Hard to Say Bye Good.
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“Vinessa” is what Vince was named until 2 years old.
That’s when they found out it was a penis after all.
Is Joaquin Phoenix hanging out with Brian Posehn?
It’s not a triangle unless they all connect. So I guess what I’m saying is that Shaw and Paltrow get it on, I’d be more inclined to watch.
In my experience, two chicks would NEVER fuck someone named ‘Joaquin’. Although with his last name, it’d be totally cool to say ‘Like a Phoenix, he rose from the asses”.
I’m kind of sad to see that Brian Posehn has lowered himself to hanging out with those people.
What do I care about this chick’s fucking name? You don’t have to be able to read good and spell good to know the meaning of A2M.
Fuck Jack!
I was in a love hendecagon one time. It was pretty complicated, and in the end, I’m pretty sure I ended up just fucking myself.
Think I Walkeen and I have smoething in commo.n
Gah. I Am Sam would have enough sense to pick the other chick over Paltrow. I would rather meet the cockpunching robot than see this movie.
They were going to get Val Kilmer for this role, but they didn’t want an obtuse triangle.
Phoenix, meet Paltrow. Mouth, meet gun. Hair, meet lip.
“Vinessa Shaw” is the shittiest combination of Scrabble letters ever.
Is Vin as in Vin Diesel short for Vinessa? i’d suck Vinessa’s cock any day.
There seems to be a discrepancy in the votes: my brain marked the “not hot” chad for Vinessa and yet my dick sure enough poked out the latter.
Vinessa Shaw, I’d like to introduce you to Dr. Diek.
Phoenix wonders why God gave us two ring fingers if we could only screw one chick at a time.
His mustache is like a harelip toupee.
Gwynneth Paltrow’s pussy is so big an Apple fell out of it.
*slow clap*
that one’s for you Peet.
If Vinessa Shaw told me I had to help her get financing for a new car before she’d have a love triangle, I’d cosign.
Post, meet Durst….
I’m too lazy to IMDB. Is that the formerly hot older chick from Hocus Pocus? Has someone beaten her with an ugly stick for the last 12 years or so?
Dear Mr. Phoenix,
This was a pretty crappy effort for your first music video.
Vince killed Gerald Posner with this post.
Wahkeen should play the trombone!
*to the tune of “Dukes of Hazzard*
PPPPPPPPHLLLLLLLLLLPHPPHPHPHP HPLHHHHHHHHPPPPPPPPHLHPHLPHPHPPH PGLLLLLLLLLLPPHLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPHHHHHHHH
PPPPPPPPPPLHHHHHHHHHHHPPPPPPPPPHLPPPHHHPHPHPP!!!!!!!!!
I’ll see this if it ends with Joaquin trying to fit “OFF FUCK BITCH UP-STUCK YOU” on his fingers.
And yes, I’m back. Finally. Henceforth, the song “I’ll be home for Christmas” will be re-titled “I won’t be home for Christmas but I will be at the Memphis airport Quality Inn getting a rub-n-tug from some chick who advertised on Craigslist so go ahead and just send me money this year.”
Durst?
Fuck, no one missed me at home either. I guess I should stop returning Christmas cards with red-marks and a letter grade.
But you know what? “Funnest” isn’t a fucking word and my mom should know it.
Dor sho gha! It’s the Prof! Have you watched HAZ yet?
“HAZ”? Isn’t that just the way cats spell the past tense of “have”?
Welcome back Rotty.
…
That would be a “No.”
ht tp://w ww.youtube.com/watch?v=nKUfH8PQM48
work safe
sanity unsafe
remove spaces
True story: Cheech Marin plays every instrument in the band HAZ. Simultaneously. Except drums. That dude’s even more fucked up than Cheech.
Dios Mio, Fek.
D
U
R
S
T
M
E
!
*watches HAZ video*
Pedro knows that if he wants people to vote for him, he needs to be the lead singer.
So, is that the Mexican version of KISS? “EL KISS-O” explains why they’re so damn cheesy. And delicious.
Es El Spino Tapo.