NEW REALITY SHOW: …FRANK STALLONE
12.19.08
You probably thought that headline was one of my many attempts to be cute, but it’s true, Frank Stallone is getting a reality show.
…he’s thrilled to be finally stepping out of his famous sibling’s shadow. The 58-year-old is a successful musician, with Grammy and Golden Globe nominations for his song for 1983 movie Staying Alive – but he has struggled to keep up with Oscar winner Sylvester. In the as-yet-untitled show, Frank will show off his talents and share his life, and relationships with his brother and psychic mother Jackie.
Oh yeah, definitely don’t gloss over the part about the mom. From Frank’s Wiki page:
…the son of Jacqueline “Jackie” (née Labofish), an astrologer, former dancer, and promoter of women’s wrestling, and Frank Stallone, Sr., a hairdresser.
Awesome. I want business cards that say “Promoter of women’s wrestling.”
[Frank] is relishing the opportunity to finally make his name, telling the National Enquirer, “For 32 years I have been Rocky-ed to death. Now I’m trying to change the public’s perception of me.
“I’m extremely proud that Sly created Rocky, but I got really tired of that. I was signed to RCA records before Rocky came along and I’m angry that people think I’m riding on my brother’s coat tails. I want the recognition I deserve.” [via WENN - so take this whole story with a grain of salt]
If I had to choose a favorite Frank Stallone album (and it’s hard, it’s like trying to choose a favorite child), I’d have to go with 2002′s Stallone on Stallone – By Request. It’s hard to choose a favorite among so many great tracks, but “Love is Like a Light” is one of the best, most powerful songs ever written about self-preservation, dignity. Its universal message crosses all boundaries and instills one with the hope that it’s not too late to better ourselves. …Whoa, what happened, I blacked out for a second there. Anyway, if Frank Stallone is on a show by law I don’t think they can call it a reality show.

The description of this show clearly indicates that whoever wrote it was making this up as they went along.
“And the mother…she’s umm….she’s psychic! That’s it.”
I’d rather it be about a CGI hot dog voiced by Sly.
Btw, sorry about the late start today, folks. Daddy was drinking.
I met Frank Stallone at a Piggly in Dover, Delaware. Handsome man.
“Stallone on Stallone by Request” is the name of a fan-fiction script I pitched to Paramount.
Sylvester Stallone has a brother?
So does that mean he beat the shit out of for not ever being good enough and not cleaning your room, Vince?
My buisness card simply says:
“Pauly. Motherfucker to the max!”
the son of Jacqueline “Jackie” (née Labofish)…
I heard the Labofish is known primarily for its extra-fishy smell.
Frank Stallone’s best movir role: Ed Baily Tombstone
I imagine the show’s just gonna be Frank driving around trying to pick up low-cost hookers: IROC of Love
“movir” is East Coast for “movie”
“Daddy was drinking” must mean there was an ‘accident” and he had to change the sheets and flip the mattress.
Man, look at that thumb. That’s a road man’s thumb. Reminds me of the time I picked up this gal on ol’ 66, told me she was making her way from Raleigh to San Fran. Course I asked her if she comments on any blogs, you know, to see if she’s normal. Turns out she was a regular on evangelicaloutpost.com, went by the username Chrazy4Christ. Well I knew this didn’t bode well for my commenting sex agenda, but wouldn’t you know it… she didn’t count anal as premarital sex. After a few hours on the Hershey Highway, I dropped her in San Fran. The next day, I told the world our story over on cuteoverload.com.
He should change his name to Frank “StayAloneAllmyLife’CuzI’mDepressed”.
Daddy Was Drinkin’ was my favorite bedtime story when I was a kid. Okay, it was my only bedtime story. Fuck off.
I heard he’s getting ready to start filming with Jared Schwarzenegger, Myron Statham, Bo Li, and Ricky Lundgren in The Even-More-Expendables.
If this dude was smart, he woulda became a steroids dealer along time ago.
That guy looks like someone I’ve seen before. Someone famous. Movies maybe? … Mickey Rourke. That’s it. Mickey Rourke.
I think that going to the National Enquirer to “finally make his name” was a wise move.
I think Jackie Stallone and Tony Bennett have some serious ‘splainin to do.
This show is just someone sitting Frank down and telling him he’ll never be Rocky.
Never EVER!
New up.
Even though he isn’t overweight, they may take him on “The biggest Loser”.
Talking of Mickey Rourke . . . check out Frank as the easily provoked bartender in “Barfly” . . . pink Lacoste polo, fluffy hair, eatin’ a steady diet of knuckle sandwiches served up by Mickey in the alley behind the bar. Easily the best fight sequences ever filmed . . .
You know who else has been Rocky’ed to death for years? Iranian women who have sex outside of marriage.