NEW MONSTERS VS. ALIENS TRAILER
12.23.08The new Monsters vs. Aliens (Dreamworks, first animated movie shot entirely in 3-D, etc.) trailer opens on “Ginormica”, played by Reese Witherspoon, who seems to spontaneously quadruple in size on her wedding day. So wait, this makes her abnormal how? HEYO!
Also: anyone else chub a little when she burst the seams on her dress and her garter shot off? …Just me then?
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Easy, aliens always win. We’re from outer space and have laser guns.
I call Bull-Shiitake. I don’t see a Mexican anywhere in this entire thing.
“anyone else chub a little when she burst the seams on her dress and her garter shot off?”
A little?
What the hell? Where is Jack Black? I know for a fact he’s not busy.
Kung Fu Pandas aren’t monsters, silly! LOL
Hopefully this will turn out like Xtro and that hot albino chick will be popping out alien babies like her vagina is a Pez dispenser.
The guy in the last picture is insuring his eyes are dead-center between his chin and scalp. It’d be funny if these weren’t fake people.
Ginormica uses Bichon Frisés for her heavy flow days.
Hearing Colbert voicing a cartoon makes me want a Venture Brothers movie even more.
Apropos of nothing in this post: One time I was in Transylvania and got food poisoning (really happened). I never thought anything could make me look back wistfully on that experience. A seven-hour delay at the Indianapolis airport (really happening) has changed my mind. Mappy Fucking Holidays. Ho Ho Go Fuck Yourself Ho.
I hear if you go to The Spirit wearing 3-D glasses and shut your right eye, you can’t see shit.
(can’t watch vid, imagines story from screen caps}
So some albino stripper gets bukkaked in a church and after changing into a pleather jumps suit steps in dog shit on the way to Lisa Rinna’s house where she meats [sic] a douchebag guy that thinks he’s a director and finger frames all of his conversations he has while shitting in public places.
I’m pre-ordering that shit right-the-fuck now!
{waits for jumps suite comment}
I’m typing and eating tacos.
<=== possessor of mad skills
I haven’t been this turned on by a cartoon since that Cathy/Marmaduke crossover thing I saw on the internet once.
Rot-if you were at the Chicago Airport, you could say, “Nappy Holidays!” WHA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAA!
…
What?
BONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
{walks up cleaning hands with damn cloth}
Hey, I was just over at the Star Wars musical post, and I think I have to say that side-ass > side-boob.
Crap, if ol Kris Klingle hadn’t had a twofer yesterday (one with a girl!), He would have printed that Slave Leia out and wanked it 3 times by now (as it is, He could only manage 2).
Shouldnt she be called VaGinormica?
{looks side to side, dips balls into coffee pot in break room}
YOWZA!!! Now that’s tangy!!
Wait, you tea bagged the coffee pot? That is just so wrong on so many levels.
FUCK! Just like when I was an adolescent and thought I had plenty of time before anybody would be home. I would get the scrambled Playboy Channel all dialed in, would get the lube and would get my favorite nut sock, and then BLAMO! There’s Granny walkin through the front door with the holiday ham, and me five pulls from full body shivers.
Empty nut sock :(
Wait, I’m Granny?
Depends on which cosplay outfit you have on.
{does electric slide in celebration of second cosplay ref of the day on FD}
Hey Granny, nice hams.
{Bwow chicka bwow bwow)
Crap, you are so fucking dead.
(translation; ya you walked in on me tea bagging the coffee pot)
Why Fek, you unplugging my Iron Lung?
Guess what. It’s hard to follow that without a question mark.
{sneaks up behind that, pulls out ?, tails that to corner Starbucks}
Word Nom, word.
What the hell are you all talking about?
Never mind.
*goes back to imagining Charlize Theron as Ripley in the final scene of Alien, undies and all*