Death Race hits DVD December 21st. Not an announcement I’d normally care about, but their PR flack reminded me about it with pictures of the lovely Natalie Martinez here. A wise strategy, sirs. She can really wear a hand bra. (more pictures below)
Michael Bay’s Christmas wish list. Michael Bay needs a book on falconry? I thought Michael Bay wrote the book on falconry. In crayon. [Screenjunkies]
Alf’s dad loves gay sex and crack. No wonder George Lucas is so messed up. [HolyTaco]
Bryan Singer not involved in talks about the next Superman. Which doesn’t necessarily tell you he’s fired, just that people don’t generally discuss whether to fire you with you in the room. [Filmonic]
Poster for Paul Blart: Mall Cop. This could be the most unfunny movie ever. [JoBlo]
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button: 9 clips and 46 new pictures. I want to see a movie about a puppy who gets cuter as it ages. Then one day, it’s just a puddle of rainbows. [RopeofSilicon]
The world’s most disturbing animals. I would totally bang that giant salamander. He looks like he’d be squishy. [Atom]
Walrus playing saxophone. You’ve probably already seen this, but come on, it’s a walrus playing saxophone. If I let anyone miss out on it, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. [CollegeHumor]
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That Willie Tanner story is pretty old, but it still serves as a pretty serious message. It’s a shame he couldn’t follow in the footsteps of great TV dads like Greg Evigan and Alex Karras and just fall off the face of the Earth.
My morning linkage tastes like sage and maple syrup.
I prefer chorizo.
As I was driving up a hill this morning, I thought I heard my morning linkage snap. Turns out, I just ran over some kid’s lunch box. I was relieved, because normally when I wake up drive through the school bus stops, something on my car gets broken.
Ah technology. They made Natalie Martinez look like she has two eyebrows in these pictures. Is there anything they can’t do?
Fuck – ignore the ‘wake up’ line. Remnants of an abandoned joke…
There are some very small manimals caught in my linkage.
It looks like she’s wearing a Guillermo Del Toro bra, she just needs to blink her fingernails.
My girlfriend prefers two in her linkage.
Bryan Singer is really more of an interpretive dance guy than a “talking” guy.
Wait, Willie Tanner paid dudes $100 a week to smoke crack and have sex with him? is he still hiring?
I imagine the studio suits were worried that Singer would make the Superman Returns sequel almost exactly the same as the original Superman II, but instead of Terrence Stamp, Singer was hell bent on Dane Cook as Zod. Fuck that. There is only one Zod.
Um, Natalie Martinez is one spicy chica, no?
Alf’s dad loves gay sex and crack.
Awesome! I’ve been saving a joke about this since 2001. It had something to do with, um, let’s see… There was Alf, the cat, um… ARIES SPEARS BIOPIC!
Aries needs the work now, Stone.
Next time, I would prefer morning pigs in a blanket.
I got nothing. I’m sick today.
I don’t think the poster for “Paul Blart: Mall Cop” is so bad. Although it looks like it ought to be for “Kevin James in The Stacey Keach Story.”
New up.
Early morning TnA, Lince? QAPLAH!
Anyone else remember Misfits of Science? Cause that’s where I knew the pole smoker before Alf. And yes, my mom had the tabloid this was from years ago.
They don’t make TV like that anymore.