LADLING = SPOONING DEEPLY
12.23.08This is the trailer for Spooner, which is playing at this year’s Slamdance Film Festival, which is run by a bunch of shrivs who’ll kick you out if, God forbid, you actually start slamdancing. Fascists. Anyway, I know what you’re thinking: is the dude’s name Spooner or is he just a guy who likes spooning? Answer? Both, fudgedick! Matthew Lillard plays a spooning-loving loser named Spooner who meets a girl who’s a unique free spirit (guess the dark secret! Cancer? A kid? Dying parents?) and they decide to be unique free spirits together. Because everyone knows the indie film equation. 1 unique free spirit = pathetic loser. 2 unique free spirits = Americana!
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Ol’ Kris Klingle is more of a…KNIFER.
I can’t wait for the porn version of this: Pooner.
I love to spoon, but Burnsy puts a pillow between us when we sleep together.
*opens the fridge in the FilmDrunk break room*
WHO THE FUCK DRANK MY PISS BOOT?!?!
God, I missed Dharma & Greg.
*pours one for Burnsy* Here you go. :)
If his name’s “Spooner”, and his Dad’s name is “Shooter” the Mom has to be named “Cooter”.
What about his brother Pooter?
Secret cancer? Is that like Secret Santa? I gave one colleague some Cesium-137 this year.
What self-respecting man doesn’t expect a pillow divider when he invites a young lady into his bed?
I’m guessing the secret is that Lillard is actually the killer at the end.
Is it the goal of every movie now to be Juno? Really? Cause Juno wasn’t that great.
Wrong, Rexy! Wrong! Under section 37B of the contract signed by you, it states quite clearly that all offers shall become null and void if – and you can read it for yourself in this photostatic copy
[grabs a magnifying glass and reads]
“I, Rexy, shall forfeit all rights, Piss Boot privileges, and licenses herein and herein contained,” et cetera, et cetera…”Fax mentis incendium gloria cultum,” et cetera, et cetera…”Memo bis punitor delicatum!”
[slams the magnifying glass down, shouts]
It’s all there, black and white, clear as crystal! You stole everybody’s jokes and sadly rehashed them!. You stepped on everyone’s dick here, which now, they have to be washed and sterilized, so you get *NOTHING*! You lose! Good day sir!
Matthew Lillard’s performance in Summer Catch is used as a training video for all Cubs rookies.
Personally, I’m a “sporker.” Basically, it means I’ll spoon a fat chick until she farts.
I’ll only watch this movie if theres a whole lot of forking.
Hey, Spooner’s dad is Shooter.
Who’s Dooter’s Dad?…
If this is how we got last names, I’d be Herman Wronghole.
Burnsy, I don’t like that system… I’d be Rock Whiskeydick then
Needs more Uncle Rico.
Aww, Pauly likes me.
I said “Good day!”
Well, if we’re figuring out last names, I’d have to do the academic thang and go hyphenated: Prof. Harassment-Suit
If this is how we got last names, I’d be Waylon Cumminginyourhairwhileyousleep.
You okay now that that’s out of your system?
Cereal Killer? You brought her.
I’d be Quincy P. Begsforsex.
If this is how we got last names, I’d be Jonas Bonerpressure.
Uh oh.
RIP, Rexy.
*Hands Pauly a piss boot, continues sterilizing dick*
If this is how we got last names, I’d be Rexy
There is no Spooner.
Richard Gere will be cast as Herman Can Opener.
My ex wife was more like the 1 tablespoon cup in a set of nesting measuring spoons.
Five bucks sez Lillard’s catchphrase is “It’s all gravy!”
Robert Knox was set to star as Herman Slotted Spooner.
“SPOOOOOOOOON!!!!”
Ricky Schroder will audition for the part of Herman Silver Spooner.
Guy next to me at Starbuck’s discussing tithing and bringing podcasts to the ministry. *puts gun in mouth*
No, you’d be Pauly Begsfordick. ;)
I can’t wait for the part where the mentalist bends Herman with his mind.
I get mine Rexy, you better get yours.
Hahaha, apparently you’ve been giving me mine for this whole thread so what difference does it make?
I hope it’s not your own mouth that barrel’s in, Vance.
RDJ is bringing an 8 ball to the opening of this movie.
New up!
Rexy, the difference is my dick has your footsteps all on it.
Do me a favor, while you’re riding my dick like a bike, could ya peddle my balls tto?
Wow. Thanks, man. You seriously need to relax.
Do you guys remember “Dooter”?