This is the trailer for Uniform Survigirl I/II (no, I don’t know what’s up with that translation either), and while it’s not in English and doesn’t have subtitles, it does contain virtually everything that makes Japanese movies great:
* Obsession with girls in schoolgirl uniforms
* Gratuitous violence
* Chainsaw fighting
* Everyday objects used as ninja stars
* Blood spray
* Beheadings
* Rotting corpse demons [Little known fact: the red dot on the Japanese flag actually symbolizes rotting corpse demons]
* Samurai swords
* Plant rape
Pretty good, but needs more tigers. And lactating. Maybe a lactating tiger. With a samurai sword. No, a chainsaw. …You see? This is the kind of thinking these poor bastards are forced to do in order to outdo each other.
[via QuietEarth - thanks to Robopanda for the tip]

Fucking hippies replacing gun rape with plant rape.
Everybody was Chainsaw fighting
Doodoodoodoo doo doo doo
Those Jacks were fast a light-ning
Closing line translated: “Blue jeans American Backstreet Boys OK!”
I have 3 PTO days to take before i lose them by the end of the year, so all i need are this movie, a case of Gatorade, and a 10 pack of tube socks to make it all worthwhile.
This movie’s alternate title is Fuck The Happening.
It’s a good job the Japanese have free rein of expression – well except from the bush thing they’re still bizarrely coy about – can you imagine what kind of atrocities would be committed if they couldn’t express themselves artistically? Oh and that’s a rhetorical question.
also needs testicle shocking, and tentacle rape and…me
Plant Rape
So. Someone finally misunderstood the old saying and actually fucked the infield grass, huh?
In Japan, “One-Upsmanship” involves getting more phone books to stand on.
I don’t know if Japan even has a ratings system, but based on my experiences, I’d guess that this one is probably their version of PG.
In Japan, FilmDrunkards are considered cute and harmless.
I’m moving to Japan to open an acting school because it’s pretty obvious, they already have an Awesomeatorium.
In Japan, Seltzer and Freebird would be producing game shows.
Ow prant touch my no no.
This isn’t a movie. It’s one of those “Teach English in Japan” commercials.
Just in time for the holidays!
Not bad… but unless there’s an old man in his underwear throwing rotting fish at one of those girls in a trash can I’m probably not going to watch it more than 3 times.