Now that Tom Cruise has been nominated for a Golden Globe for his portrayal of Les Grossman (a nomination which, let’s face it, is entirely conceivable that Cruise bribed and/or lobbied for), everyone wants to know what the next step for the character is. And by ‘everyone’, I mean people who get paid to kiss celebrity ass for a living.
“I’ve talked about doing different videos with the character,” Cruise said. “I’ve started working with Ben [Stiller] on it, and we’ve kind of talked about different things to do. We were gonna do some in our free time, but we haven’t found the free time…yet.” [E! Online]
Wow, is that a threat? Look, I know there are actually lots of respectable people who thought Les Grossman was funny. But if you’re one of them, ask yourself what was funny about it: was it the character, the dialog, the makeup, a combination of the three; or Tom Cruise’s vacant-eyed stare? I humbly submit that any idiot off the street would’ve been better. And as for trying to do Funny or Die videos with it or whatever: dude, just stick to filming your Scientology ceremonies. Those are hilarious!
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You will not escape!
dirtyhairy.blogspot.com/2008/12/feklahr-mighty.html
(work safe)
Dor sho gha! Better go warn the yIntaghs!
Fek, that was awesome as soon as I realized that the “Sinbad the Sailor” tune is not the same as the “Popeye the Sailor Man” tune.
Seriously, everything about the Lex Grossman role was awesome except the part about how Tom Cruise was playing him. Get anybody else in there and I’m laughing through his scenes instead of groaning through them.
I sang it to the tune of Spongebob Squarepants and ROFLKOTAL’d.
Tom Cruise was positive that, by the end of his part in that movie, he had completely created the Lex Grossman character, and the script for the movie, and an aura of goodwill among men.
Obviously, you people don’t see the ironic genius behind Cruise’s character… a balding guy wearing a skull cap over his fake hair.
Donk-hence the provided video. :P
I’m on record as saying he was funny (not award worthy but I digress) right up until they had him dance again. The first time was about 30 seconds too long to begin with.
This still isn’t nearly as bad when MTV openly admitted the faggocity of the Movie Awards by giving Tom Cruise Best Male Performance for MI:2.
THANK YOU. Tom was not funny. The fat suit did all the work.
The real hero of Tom’s scenes is Bill Hader. Not only is he genuinely funny, but he had enough self-control to actually tolerate that douchebag.
Clear the way, gentleman! The Heartbreak Klingon wants first crack at the new gash!
“We haven’t found free time…yet” roughly translates to “Ben won’t come to my Scientology
Re-Education Center for a meeting.”J, take out the “they had him” part. You know the dancing was his idea. Like, the cast is sitting around a table and RDJ is like, “I’ll do the role in blackface” and Jack Black says, “Tie me to a tree and I’ll describe sucking Jay’s dick” and then Cruise says, “Everybody stop… I will dance to a popular hip hop song.”
Fuck this movie. There I said it. Without RDJ, it’s not even worth watching.
Anyone who doesn’t believe Scientology is a magic panacea for terminal lameness should look at Tom Cruise. Without Scientology, Cruise would be a short, nerdy little guy who acts like a jerk and thinks he’s important. WITH it, however…
Tom Cruise’s Lex Grossman video pitch to Ben Stiller (and also why Stiller hasn’t been able to find any free time):
So Grossman is having one of his weaker days and decides to forego the Diet Coke for a Starbucks Latte. He goes in and starts yelling at the girl behind the counter immediately about how if she puts any more or less than one and three-quarter pumps into his cup he’ll have her family killed. Then, he sees a guy working on his screenplay in the shop, reads two lines, calls the kid the dumbest fucking person to ever grace his presence and demands he opens his iTunes and blasts some Kanye because he’s got the urge to dance.
You win Burnsy. Doc, I said roughly the same thing earlier this week.
The problem with the dancing is that it proves exactly what this role was: nothing but Tom trying to be cool and funny by mugging for the camera.
Fuck. New up. Sorry.
This Les Grossman character reminds me of those old David Lee Roth videos. ‘Bout as funny, too.
What a ridiculous post. Les Grossman was widely regarded as entertaining and funny. Tom Cruise did a brilliant job with his character and it added nicely to Tropic Thunder.
If you think whoever found it funny was paid then you are the most pathetic, ignorant, and outright simple person that has written an article regarding this movie or character.