HOLY HELL I NEED THIS
12.17.08
A reader recently sent me an email with the subject line “The Danny Trejo Clothing Line” and only this link in the body. While I can neither confirm nor deny whether Danny Trejo himself actually operates the company, one thing I’m certain of is that this shirt instantly shot to the top of my Christmas list. That’s right, Santa, I’m looking at you. And don’t forget, I know where you live, ju fat puto.
Notice how the chest/shoulder part bulges outward slightly instead of your traditional straight line? That’s because if your chest doesn’t look like this you probably shouldn’t even bother.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/global/images/default-avatar.jpg){kind=avatar}
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/01/corgi-farts-on-corgi-150x150.gif)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2011/05/Muppets-Danny-Trejo-150x150.jpg)
Do they also sell temporary tattoos?
His boobs are bigger than mine :(
That’s okay, I heard your vibrator blows him away.
*boosh*
This can’t be his line. I don’t see a single tanktop.
Well, finally I’ll have something to wear with my throwing knife belt that will make it not seem so weird.
Viz-nance, if you were to put that brown Trejo shirt up as next week’s COTW prize I fuckin guarantee the FUNNIEST. WEEK. EVER!!!!
If they don’t offer a sombrero with dingle balls in the shape of knives, I’m not interested.
You should see his direct marketing campaign. He gives you the choice between his clothing line and his clothesline.
That shirt would go awesome with my Bolo tie.
Chong Li! Chong Li! Chong Li!
I’d bet that if he offers jeans, they have an extra patch sewn in the ass for all the sitting around someone who would buy them would be doing.
If that shirt was a COTW prize I would piss my pants with fear trying to come up with something funny. And I wouldn’t nom any of you gringo cocksuckers.
Cripes sake Donk. Get in the fucking corner for that one. Not because it wasn’t funny, but because now Jack! is going to have a hissy because you beat him to it.
http://www.lataco.com/taco/wp-content/uploads/trejo.jpg
Not exactly Cary Grant, is he?
*trying to decide if you fuckers are worth $30…*
Lince, “you probably shouldn’t even bother”…
And where’s the black leather waistcoat, as worn in From Dusk Till Dawn? Surely his signature item.
Please, please, please tell me all of these shirts have gore-tex backs.
C’mon Vince, ’tis the season and all that warm & fuzzy shit…
DUDE HOLY SHIT FUCK! THEY MAKE BIG MAN SIZES! QAPLAH!
The only person here worth $30 is missoultaker.
Dude, Vince, I will chip in for it.
Can you even deduct 35¢ at a time from a Pay-Pal account?
If you do put one of these up for a prize, just remember that I’m one of the few people on this site that has an packing envelope with a return address. Not that I’m looking for a reason to
stab someone ingo to New York.I bid… two bits!
Forget ordering M, L, XL or XXL; the only size they carry is “esse.”
I may have a packing envelope, but I seem to have misplaced my grammar. fuck
Hey VaLince!
IT’S FILMDRUNKS THAT CLOTHE YOU! IT’S FILMDRUNKS THAT FEED YOU!
(name that movie and you win my sarcastic praise)
It would have to be a regular commenter though.
Crappy, I didn’t realize my step-dad sold the rights to my childhood. Cheap fucker.
Vince, do it, but really mail out a Corky Romano t-shirt instead.
These aren’t shirts. They’re aerated orange slings.
I like the one with the skull. Do these come in ladies’ sizes?
I think Pauly may have passed out from the lack of fluids after seeing this post.
The clothes are cool, but I’m waiting for his line of portrait-wafflecones.
If I owned this shirt, the busboys at China Star Buffet would think I was the coolest guy ever.
Coinkydinkily, “trejo” is also how Danny orders up his Latina ladies.
The heat-transfer stickers come with instructions that read “ju pumping the wrong iron, puto”.
If I wore that shirt my friends would ask me why I’m obsessed with Moses Hightower.
Al-4x is an “Iowa Lady” size!
I have decided: instead of a Halloween sequel, Rob Zombie needs to remake Jesus Christ Superstar starring Danny Trejo. You’re welcome, Hollywood.
True story-Less than 10 minutes ago I hastily sent out an email to amend my XMas list to my family with the link to the Trejo shirts site. :D
If I don’t get one…well…JUDO KNOW WHAT I’LL DO, MENG!
Rotty, they do cary multiple sizes.
Puto, Bendejo, Vato, Cabrone, and Esse.
They also carry them, fuck Mike and Amen.
Do you know what you would get if you genetically spliced Danny Trejo and RDJ?
Kahless.
Trejo does not approve of your spelling of the words Pendejo and Cabron. He also said to remind you that there’s only one “s” in “ese,” ese.
I don’t think I could wear one of these shirts – instead, I’ll just put on something from American Apparel AND SPEAK VE-RY SLOW-LY AND VE-RY LOUD-LY.
What do I look like here? Nelson Mandela?
(Mandela and Spanish language corrections? Fuck it, I’m standing pat.)
I’m with you erswi. I’ve only ever seen Mexicans pulled over on I-80 with drug sniffing dogs in the back of their Explorers.
*curses customer for calling in the middle of a thought*
I wouldn’t know how to spell Burrito correctly if it weren’t for Carlos O’Kellys.
I wouldn’t know how to spell taco correctly if we didn’t have a burrito king.
I finally get to leave work. I’m hurrying home, we’re having inch of lada’s tonight.
I just came Red, White and Green
Tag line:
“Buy my pinche shirt or I cut ju, mang”
J-The Mighty Feklahr is sure that He is probably one of the very few that really appreciated that Carlos O’Kelley’s joke.
I want a Danny Trejo butterfly knife.
I want the shirt that comes with the stab wounds and bullet holes already in it.
These shirts shit on the pancho my nana got me last Navidad.
I’m holding out hope that eventually Vince is going to post something that lets us pick on a minority I actually know something about.
*Everything I know about Mexicans I learned from Pauly, Bex and Dubs:
- steal things
- drive beaters
- good kissers*
These shirts come with a coupon for a feee bean burrito
These shirts already come wet on the back.
These shirts come with hidden compartments for machetes.
disclaimer*
These shirts DO NOT make you a U.S. citizen.
These shirts automatically give you a mustache when you put one on.
These shirts only sell at the swap meet.
Al, there would have to be a remake of Quinn the Eskimo for that to happen.
Prior to purchasing a shirt you have to drink an entire bottle of tequila first and be a felon.
Wear one of these shirts to a 8 year old’s B-day, and you will drink so much Buwizer from the keg that you throw up in the bushes and get into a fight with Tio Jamie.
I once drank a bottle of tequilla and felon the stairs.
Wear one of these shirts to the company xmas party and you will steal the ornaments off of the tree.
Wear one of these shirts to Target and you will be followed.
Tag line:
If you don’t buy Trejo, then you’re a pendejo.
Buy two shirts and get a coupon for $50 off Dayton 13″ 100 spoke triple gold rims.
Here’s one of the models hired for this clothing line.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cf8e8AASW3s
Wearing these shirts while driving either automatically gets you pulled over, or makes 12 more people appear in your backseat.
Buy three shirts, and get a free years subscription to Low Rider Magazine.
Each shirt comes with a chicken, a bag of oranges and a bottle of horchata.
IOf you put on one of these shirts, you will drive 10mph under the speed limit and still not be able to stay in your lane.
Wearing these shirts to the club will guarantee you blurt out “Chu want to dance wif me huhhhh?!”
Buying one of these shirts will get you a rebate on your chain link steering wheel.
Wearing these shirts will make tattoos appear on your body out of no where.
These shirts come with a free membership to La Onda’s San Quentin Chapter.
Yeah, you could wear one of these shirts.
But you will get killed if you take it off.
These shirts will free you from the prison of racial stereotyping – guaranteed.
***Guarantee void if shirt is worn in the USA
wow, I didn’t mean to kill the thread … sorry! :(
Just that time of day Hoey. It’s the NPA.
Ah yes, the ol’ NPA … thanks Donkey.
Um… what’s an NPA??
No
Poon
Afternoon
*passes Pauly a piss boot*
This one’s chilled. Give it a try.
Yo bitches, I’m still here.
I’m here too. Not that it helps.
I’m here too, I just never have anything useful to say :)
Really? All I have to do to get women to show up is to say that there are none around? I gotta remember that next time I’m at a sausage party.
Gotcha! Cheers, Pauly.
Hey, what’s with all the snarky crap over at WWTDD towards FilmDrunk? Aren’t these “sister sites”? Like Hef’s hot new twins?
Or is it more like that Cameron Diaz/Toni Colette movie that no-one saw?
If I stop asking questions, will I find answers?
I don’t know that movie, Hoey.
We generally don’t talk about ‘over there’ here. If they want to talk about us, power to ‘em.
Cheers, Donkey. I shall bear that in mind :)
Bill Murray is going to look awkward in this shirt. I assume that’s him leaning on my buzzer.
They aren’t so much t-shirts as they are tattoo patterns. So when you flex your boob he’ll wink.
All of these options would spell awesome when worn with a piano key tie.
Pretty sure if you used this as a “love towel” you’d wake up dead.