Have I mentioned how awesome Black Dynamite looks? Tough shit, I’m going to again. After the jump you can watch the newly-released Happy Holidays from Black Dynamite video. The producers are people who clearly understand that the way to my heart is through my giant nerd boner.
Little known fact: Michael Jai White actually invented the sport of Jai Alai. Which he immediately demanded that Mexicans play. And they did. Out of fear. Because Michael Jai White knows karate.
(Brief nudity at the 10-second mark if you wanna act like a little bitch about it)
[via Twitch]
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Black Santa goes up your “chimney” and steals your wife’s “cookie”.
How long do I have to wait until the video shows up?
And there’s some titties.
Banner pic cap:
Decafitaytid o no, Ima fuckin you mouf!!
I want to see Blackface Downey Jnr. take on Black Dynamite
Michael Jai White is so good at karate, that his cousin Michael Jai Fox is shaking in his boots.
I like the titty balls on Ho #1.
Tittays are the true miracle of Christmas.
He may be Black Dynamite now, but he was still the dude that played
GambolSpawnMike TysonHe’s got a Jai mercury count.
“Oh little town of Beffleham”
“Brief” nudity? Why should he even bother streaming it? (Not that He could anyway at work…)
Oh, only way this movie could be better? Danny Trejo.
*spazzes* Yeah (yeh) Yeah (yeh) Rolly Molly!
Whoa… gotta lay off the carnie references…
Since he’s black and doesn’t go down, you’ll never seen him doing the Jai mlick.
But he will play Jai and Seek.
*offers*
Piss boot anyone?
A piss boot before 5?
Why sure.
His favorite cologne? Jai Karate.
I am enamored with all of the Jai-lights I have seen of this movie.
His favorite type of sex?
Jai colonic.
To learn his style of Kung- Fu you have to go to a Jai Skool.
I’m wearing Chuck Taylor Jai-tops. They kick ass in fights.
And make sure you’re wearing Jai Water pants.
He also has a subscription to Jai Times.
Didn’t Blondie write a song about him? The Tide is Jai?
You motherfucka
I am gonna kick yo’ ass
You are fuckin’ dead
That’s a Jai-ku
I wish this movie was already out. I wish this movie was already out. Mekka-lekka Jai mekka Jai-ney ho.
When he sings “Loving You” he has no problem hitting that Jai F.
He busts Jai-Men.
I need to get Jai.
Who has a J?
Didn’t he model his speaking voice after Moses Jaitower?
You guys are Jai-Larious, but I have to Jai-Tail it outta here.
Sure thing Pauly, as long as no one gets Jai and Mighty.
If he’s black, why is it “Jai”?
Shouldn’t it be “Jolla!”
Christmas dinner at his house is quite the spectacle of Jai-ve talking.
JOLLA JOLLA BEEEL Y’ALL!!!
Jai gais. Jai are you all daing?
I suck at this gaime.
Black Dynamite is much cooler than his cousin Napoleon.
Black Dynomite is dreaming of a honky Christmas.
He used to drink malt liquor.
Now he drinks Jai-neken.
Michael’s favorite character on Police Academy was Jaitower.
Banner Pic: OH JAI, I IZ SEVURD HED.
Black Dynamite sings that one Christmas song: *sings* I’m… dreaming of a white… woman…
Black Dynamite is movin’ on up to a Jai rise apartment.
Michael goes to bars and drinks Jai balls until he pissed the stool.
He’s got his own salute. The Zeig Jai-il.
Black Dynamite loves ladies with big Jaineys.
Can “pissed the stool” be in the drunxicon as a euphemism for Gah Durchfall?
There’s a Jairarchy of blaxploitation movies, and this one is on top.
His Irish/Negro uncle Keg O’Dynamite will not only drink you under the table, but talk your fucking ear off while doing it.
This film does not aim to be Jai brow.
He decided to cut that afro and get a Jai and tight.
JFK was shot with a Jai powered rifle.
See, cuz he used black powder.
Black Dynamite got the ho, ho, hos back in the Happy HollaDays.
It’s Jai Quality Entertainment.
Instead of Olde English, Black Dynamite prefers Miller Jai Life.
Michael was glad that Obama was elected to the Jaiest office in the land.
Not only does he play Jai Impact sports, but he only gambles at the Jai Stakes tables.
His next project will be a blaxploitation remake of Jai Crimes and Misdemeanors.
SHit Rexy, didn’t you hear? He had to quit sports after his Jai ankle sprain.
If I ever need a bodyguard, I’m jairing Black Dynamite.
Michael loved the Damn Yankees. His favorite tune was “Can You Take Me Jai Enough?”
I hope this movie doesn’t get over-jaiped.
I’m worried about the crops, sposed to be knee Jai by the 4th of July…
Don’t worry Jack, it’s jaily unlikely.
NEW UP!
New up!
Sometimes he has to go undercover. For that, he puts on a poncho and a sombrero and goes by the name Jaime.
Dude looks seriously pissed. He could use some drugs for his jaipertension.
Or stop and smell the jaibiscus.
Pauly … no “Jai five” ???
I may be a worthless newbie fucktard, but I am very, VERY disappointed.
For shame.