GERARD BUTLER’S POST ’300′ CAREER
12.09.08
Pools. Gerard Butler could take them or leave them, really.
Variety reports that Gerard Butler will be co-starring with Jennifer Aniston in a romantic comedy about a bounty hunter who has to chase down his ex-wife. It will be directed by the guy who did Hitch and Fool’s Gold. Now, let’s take a second to review the films Gerard Butler has chosen to do since 300 made him a star, shall we?
The Ugly Truth. A rom-com opposite Katherine Heigl. Basically a sequel to 27 Dresses. Need I say more?
RocknRolla. Not a great movie, but I’ll concede this one. He was good in it.
Nim’s Island. Opposite Jodie Foster and Abigail Breslin in a The-Fairy-Tales-Come-True! story. Definitely Brendan Fraser territory.
P.S. I Love You. Rom-com… Plays a dead guy… Opposite Hilary Swank… And Harry Connick Jr. …P.S. this sucks.
And now an Aniston rom-com about bounty hunting. Now is the time, fire your agent. Look, I’m all for stretching yourself as an actor, but you can’t spend the rest of your career doing that mangina thing from Silence of the Lambs. One more of these and you’ll henceforth be known as Gayowulf.
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*throws it to Chodin for something witty*
I think he stole that bracelet from every kid at my bar mitzvah.
…
Who the qovlpath cares? THe Mighty Feklahr is going back to the Biel thread
to cry alone.If he’s hunting Aniston all he need do is show her a few tabloid covers of preggo Jolie. She will directly crumple into a sobbing heap and start cutting herself. Easy snatch! (tee hee, fag)
You want confusion, check out one of his prior works, Trailer for a Remake of Gore Vidal’s Caligula and splain dat shiznit to me.
He should never star in a murder mystery, because everyone already knows that the Butler did it.
The chain says “guido,” the look says, 15yo pool boy is bent over cleaning the pool filter trap right in front of him.
THIS IS CLUB MED!!
It won’t be long before we get “Spartan…for men.”
I got nuthin’.
Dammit Vink. T’hell with this gay shit and put Biel strippin back at the top o the page if you got nothing better.*
*And we know you don’t, cuz what could be better than Jessica Biel strippin’? Nothing.
No J, well here;
http://www.nakedclowncalendar.com
Good thing Fek’s intertubes are down. I think that might kill him.
It’d be easy to catch Aniston because it’s like she’s always stuck in second gear.
HIS EYES/MIND!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Gerard Butler-some guy in some move that people told Him was “way cool”. That is all he is to Him.
So Butler went from hanging out and flexing with a bunch of beefcakes to gay stuff, eh?
If you want to track down Aniston, you have to be ready to ask the townsfolk if they’ve seen a giant nose walking around bitching. they’ll be sure to point you in the right direction.
Crappy, what happened our past that would make you think I’d like that shit?
*whispers “thank you” in crappy’s ear*
I didn’t think the leap from Gerard Butler’s bi-curiousness, skipping off of “I got nuthin’” and landing on naked MS charity clown calendars was that hard to make.
Not for this room.
I’m just trying to give y’all some gift ideas, ya know, for the kids.
Someone pick up one of those clown calendars and tell me if Unicycle Girl ever replaced her seat.
Parenting;
If your kids don’t lose bladder/bowel control when confronted by a clown, you’re doing it wrong.
Don’t forget he’s got that pseudo Tron movie The Game coming out. But who knows when…
Gerard, buddy..you deserve better than this shit. If you have to do something romantic do the Outlander movie and play Jamie for gods sake. Not this harpy laced crap.
So, did we ever resolve the “Three Girls with Bill Murray” issue? The Mighty Fek’lhr noticed the guys with no standards went with Far Right, and the homos went Far Left, and the only honourable warrior with a real sex drive went middle! QAPLAH, forshak-hut dwelling yIntaghs!
So, did we ever resolve the “Three Girls with Bill Murray” issue?
Fuck, Kill, Marry, Cage
So, did we ever resolve the “Three Girls with Bill Murray” issue?
Fuck, Kill,
MarryMurray, CageFIXED
Al says:
You know what we haven’t had in far too long? Shirtless Statham.
Jo Perks up we do need a shirtless statham yes yes
Aniston is that nutty aunt that used to be good looking when she was 20, but now that she’s 35, she hasn’t been able to find a guy that can sit through her bullshit rambling long enough to fuck her so when she sees you at family gatherings, she’s always super sex-cougar with you and she does innpropriate things like rub your leg way too long or shoots you a come fuck me look from behind the manora at the dinner table, but you let her do it cuz it’s kinda flattering and it would be too embarassing to confront her about. Yeah, so fuck her. She almost ruined Office Space.
Jo, shut the fuck up.
Not that I’m complaining, because any day with shirtless hunky hunks is a good day (I’m relatively easy to please), but the only reason for looking at THIS hunky hunk is his awesomely awe-inspiring chest and washboard abs. I’m 100% certain Vince is holding out in the photo department on this one.
Dear Vince,
Fuck you I’m rich
yours,
GButter
The only difference is that I can’t beat off to these movies.
^ ^ ^ That’s more like it. And no, it’s not me.
Dammit Pauly!
Dear GBut,
You spelled your last name wrong, asshole.
Smooches,
Jacktion!
When reached for comment Butler screamed at the reporter, “THIS! IS! SHITE!!!!”
PS I just had to get like my 5th new password because uproxx won’t remember me for more than 20 mins and keeps giving me passwords that sounds like Frk swearing at me:
“;ogh9py59efqe!”
I hear that Butler will star in a a RomCom with Bill Murray. The working title is ’2 girls, 1 cup, one depressed old dude, oh and some other dude.’
Execs at the studio say that the title is subject to change…
Pictured: Recipe for man-chowdah. Serves 300.
You know bryce, you can change your password if you go to “edit profile”
Well, The Mighty Feklahr is sure He isn’t the only one holding the Wal Mart exclusive “The Dark Knight” collectors set with DVD, comic, and two-faced coin, heh heh heh!
…
HEY FUCK YOU GUYS!
Whoa – is Jack! being helpful? OMGROFLKOTALBBQBYOB!!!
*Charlie Bronze finishes reading “How to talk to girls”, combs hair, removes sweatpants, starts enjoying a little me time to the photo of Bill Murray
with the three chicks.*Alone at last.
Note: like i’d ever be seen dead in sweatpants.
First Heigl and now Aniston. Really, Gerry? Are you just going down the list of incredibly annoying, inexplicably popular actresses?
This isn’t such a horrible strategy for him, though, since I have plenty of female friends who love 300 because of the half-nekkid men.
He was supposed to be the new “snake” pliskan in “Escape fro New York 2009″
Jacktion! Smooches for others? I may just have to take back the dead roses I left on your doorstep.
At least he’s doing the VO for “Tales of the Black Freighter”??