Friday free for all is the time of the week when “film-related” goes out the window in favor of “crazy shit you need to watch right now.” Send your tips to lance@filmdrunk.com, and no, ninja guy, I haven’t forgotten about you.
I try not to throw around terms like “best ever” too cavalierly because I used to drive a Chevy Cavalier and that thing sucked. Seriously though, this f-cking video has everything. Here’s the play-by-play:
Knight wearing guyliner rides horse through stream
He meets a medieval lady
He valiantly defends her from some sparks
And then the sword-wielding vampire ladies come
Don’t point that thing at me, bitch is you crazy?
Bad guy split screen! Hooded guy in a mask on fire! Two sword ladies!
Wild horses wildly running
Good guy split screen!
And then the snow angels show up. They’ve got candles. For the lovers to drip crotch wax, you see.
Snowy mountains
Matching robes!
You get the picture. And that was only the first 1:20 or so. From there we get pirates, a ship exploding, a ghost romance, more explosions, a gang of pterodactyls, a crocodile… hold on. Yep, I just came.
[via Videogum]
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/257/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/friday-free-for-all-tarzan-dog-dreams-of-being-tarzan-filmdrunk1-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/if-i-showed-you-all-the-money-shots-in-pacific-rim-youd-have-a-70-minute-orgasm-filmdrunk-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/trailer-for-gravity-cuaron-movie-starring-clooney-and-bullock-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/gilbert-gottfried-read-the-angry-sorority-girls-email-150x150.jpg)
Wow. No audio here but I had A-Ha’s “Take On Me” playing in the background, and you know, it kinda worked for me.
No tigers? Don’t waste my mother fucking time.
Star Wars should never have chosen Darth Vader and Obi Wan for their dark side/jedi representatives. It should have been this guy versus Nick Cave.
It figures – Vance finally posts a video I can actually WATCH for a change… and it’s this. Thanks Vance.
Is this Brett Ratner’s “The Princess Bride” remake?
Tricia Walsh-Smith once heard a rumor that black people are real.
“Hey, I’ve written a lame song and found a bunch of really esoteric B-movie stock footage. Let’s make a video!”
Without sounds, I was pretty sure that this was DeBeers new ad campaign.
You wanna see a video, let me show you Grand Ma Dangerously’s bachelorette party from last year.
That ol’ bitch is fucking NUTSO!
This simply doesn’t measure up. The last good video I saw was a Great White gig in Rhode Island.
Now THOSE dudes know how to use fire…
Jerry Bruckheimer just fired his tech crew.
Reminds me of this:
[www.youtube.com]
I’m guessing the artist responsible for this is from one of the Scandinavian countries. It’s like Aha never happened.
You know it’s gonna be an awesome video when you’re hoping that you end up being Rickrolled.
Knight wearing guyliner
Is that what that is on his upper lip? I thought that thing was the result of a recent Dirty Sanchez.
*sings* You’re the best! A-ROUND! NOTHING’S GONNA…
wrong thread?
Edgar Winter is really disappointed in his son’s musical direction.
If somebody could replace the guy with still photos of Nic Cage in his new movie, that would be awesome; thanks.
That was still better than any Uwe Boll movie i’ve seen, or not seen as it were.
This is what happens when parents tell their nerdy kids ‘You can do anything you set your mind to.’
America gets punished with the third Nelson twin.
Whatever haters, this dude would totally pwn you in WoW.
After the debacle that was “Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer”, Dr. Doom struggles to find work. Until finally someone gives him another shot. He’ll be sword fighting Legolas from Lord of the Rings in norwegian techno band’s new music video. Doom’s back baby.
Why does the chick on the horse have facial hair?
Without sound, I’m mentally matching this song to Toto’s ‘Africa’.
People in India think this video is “too dramatic”.
And why does the chick who sings this sound like a dude?
I used to drive a Chevy Cavalier and that thing sucked.
For some reason, I’m not finding that hard to believe.
*looks out window and admires his freshly washed Gold AMC Eagle*
He may look like a fag but he has my sword…
There is a full 45 minutes of deleted scenes, including:
A maiden being tied to train tracks
Robot Cameras
A Caveman
Michael Jackson
The chick from Small Wonder
Frogs with antlers and little jet packs
Kool Aid bursting through a brick wall
A small paper bag being levitated by circulating wind
Microwave popcorn burning
And Cher making out with a dolphin.
Yeah? Well this might be a great video and all but musically it’s got nothing on “Smell Yo Dick” by Riskay.
NSF-Whatthefuckdoyouthink
I’m going to have to vote that the ninja video was a lot better than the music video.
Yeah that’s all funny and whatever, but where can I get one of those sparkly green DuoJets?
I always wondered what happened to Draco Malfoy’s gay brother.
Are we positive that this isn’t the grown-up Jordy, who had the smash hit “Dur dur d’être bébé” in 1992?
In case you were wondering, that video is the EXACT opposite of an Aries Spears Biopic.
Pauly, what is your Jordy obsession about? (its not, look at his myspace)
Re: the ninja video. I thought the whole point of ninjas was that they don’t get noticed. The busty wench made a fair point too. “We’ve got bigger boobs”. Who can argue with that?
OMG…it’s like a LARP’rs wet dream come true.
Wait..is that one of the guys from Nelson?? Is he the secret triplet no one talks about?
I had no idea that Melissa Ethridge had cancer
“A Time of Darkness…”
Thank God. I finally have a theme song for the next 4 to 8 years.
What can I say, Eibz? I love kids.
Oh hay, Chris Hansen…….
*Pauly is taken to the floor and hand-cuffed by FBI agents*
{walks in, takes huge dump in middle of floor, wipes ass with rabbit, examines rabbit}
Hey, waddya know?!
{walks out}
This is like The Princess Bride with AIDS.
Not being able to watch the vid at all, I’m picturing “Nuthin’ But A G Thang”. I haven’t watched that video in a while, it could’ve had all that shit.
This guy’s about as convincing when he kisses girls as I am when I say, “I swear this never happens.”
The way he pets her hair as they kiss makes me think he practiced that scene with his My Little Pony.
OMG, so this dude has a website. http://www.chrisdaneowens.com and his video was directed by…surprise a SFX artist who worked on…wait for it..ACE VENTURA. Full circle.
His Gretsch Sparkle Jet Guitar in hand. I think I’m going to vomit.
Burnsy, I move to erect Shania Twain into next year’s class of the Cougar Hall of Fame.
This video desperately needed a guy with no shirt piloting a boat across a river. I can’t watch a 1990s music video without looking for Greasy Styx Man.
::: knows where the corner is, thankewverymuch :::
At the end of this video, a dick suddenly appeard in my mouth.
I feel I missed at least some of the message of this video. So like . . . at the end . . . does the redhead seem the type to go A2M?
I thought so, too.
fucking brilliant
Hey guys.
I haven’t really shared this with you, but for the past three years I have been bravely battling cancer.
UNTIL TODAY!!!! This video cured my cancer!! I’M CLEAN AND FREE!!!
Let your light shine on, indeed!!!
I had no idea Vigo the Carpathian was also Bohemian.
Nelson walks into meeting:
“hey guys, i just bought cheechs guitar off of ebay. i have an idea for a video.”
You know what the video lacked?
Wolf shirts.
Really… still on this shit?
Get off of your boyfriend VaLince and get to bloggin’!
Somebody needs to show this video to the guys at Fox and tell them “Dragonball needs to look exactly like THIS!”
Guys, guys, guys….all this video needed was some good ol’ fashioned Robot Fucking
I think instead of thinking of ways to make this video better, we should be doing the easier thing and think of ways to make every other video ever made worse. My recommendation? Use this song.
I was hoping like hell this dude was from The Netherlands or something, because this video screams that to me. But alas no…he’s from America.
Where the hell is the Weekend Preview? Did Vance fall asleep?
wow, being an ass pirate looks fun
Why does that guy look like Ann Coulter? And was that Doctor Doom in there?
That was awesome! Like watching a Mercedes Lackey book come to life. Right Guys?!? Write? Rite? Or were they Aes Sedai? Either way you’re the dorks, not me.
Are they really Norwegian? I’d like to see them tour with Turbonegro please.
Really American? Hmmm he must be from Ohio.
Soooo sucking dick is like the fountain of youth for Iggy Pop, I guess… well waddyaknow
If you stare at the Lifetime Movie Network for two hours and then close your eyes, you see this video in your head.
If sucking dick is the fountain of youth, I’ll be turning back the clock tonight.
sometimes a fountain is just a fountain
nice durst there michelle
I was looking for you earlier too Bex! I have the magic touch if by ‘magic’ you mean ‘poison’.
A fountain is just a fountain, but Jacktion! is fruit and gay.
daaayumm but nowhere near as hot as this fine bitch: [tinyurl.com]