The sophisticated instruments could detect even the most minute traces of acting

Via one of the most annoying press releases I’ve ever read (full text below), Fox recently announced that it would be transmitting The Day the Earth Stood Still into outer space.

Commented Twentieth Century Fox domestic distribution president Bruce Snyder: “We at Fox always like to think big, and what’s bigger than a ‘galactic’ release of a major motion picture event? We look forward to sharing THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL with our galactic neighbors near Alpha Centauri — and look forward to their feedback…eight years from now.”

“We are thrilled about beaming this film into space. This will be our first full length movie transmission. And what could be more relevant to send into Deep Space than a movie about the Earth’s acceptance of visitors from outer space,” [sic] commented Jim Lewis, Managing Director, Deep Space Communications Network.

Hold on, I’m being told that a worm hole has opened.  We’re receiving a transmission of the first review… Incoming: Greetings, Earthlings, I am Klaatu. Of all your Earth actors, you chose KEANU REEVES to play me?  DOR SHO GA!  That guy couldn’t act his way out of a plasma-covered uranian!  Seriously, this movie really blorked my gongle.  When does Watchmen come out? Kthnxbai.”

Full press release, via ComingSoon:

Twentieth Century Fox makes history by transmitting the first motion picture in to deep space, making THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL the world’s first galactic motion picture release. The first deliberate deep space transmission of this highly anticipated science fiction thriller will begin this Friday, December 12, 2008, to coincide with the film’s opening day on Planet Earth. If any civilizations are currently orbiting Alpha Centauri, they will be able to receive and view the film approximately four years from now in the year 2012.

In a time when global movie launches are now commonplace, Fox is raising the bar by spearheading, with Deep Space Communications Network located at Cape Canaveral, the ultimate in “wide release” platforms. As millions of Earthbound movie fans get their first look at THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL, starring Keanu Reeves and Jennifer Connelly, the film will be zipping through space at 186,000 miles per second to a heretofore untapped possible consumer base orbiting the three star system, Alpha Centauri.

Commented Twentieth Century Fox domestic distribution president Bruce Snyder: “We at Fox always like to think big, and what’s bigger than a ‘galactic’ release of a major motion picture event? We look forward to sharing THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL with our galactic neighbors near Alpha Centauri — and look forward to their feedback…eight years from now.”

Industry watchers and film historians will note that due to the distance between our solar system and the Alpha Centauri system, it will take over eight years (accounting for a roundtrip communication) to receive any Alpha Centauri reviews. The transmission is not a single beam aimed at just the Alpha Centauri system, but can be received by any advanced technologically capable civilization along the way to Alpha Centauri, and beyond.

Prior to its arrival at Alpha Centauri, the transmission of THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL can be intercepted and viewed at various points in our own solar system (Distance from Earth – at the speed of light – and transmission time, as follows):

Moon: 0.000000038, 1.1991888 seconds
Sun: 0.000016, 8.41536 minutes
Mercury: 0.0000095, 4.99662 minutes
Venus: 0.00000476, 2.5035696 minutes
Mars: 0.0000076, 3.997296 minutes
Jupiter: 0.0000666, 35.028936 minutes
Saturn: 0.000135, 1.18341 hours
Uranus: 0.000285, 2.49831 hours
Neptune: 0.00046, 4.03236 hours
Pluto: 0.0006183, 5.4200178 hours

“We are thrilled about beaming this film into space. This will be our first full length movie transmission. And what could be more relevant to send into Deep Space than a movie about the Earth’s acceptance of visitors from outer space,” commented Jim Lewis, Managing Director, Deep Space Communications Network

About DEEP SPACE COMMUNICATIONS NETWORK:

Deep Space Communications Network is a private organization located east of Orlando. DSCN was formed specifically to communicate with outerspace by a group of broadcast engineers and communications experts who regularly transmit from the space center.

The beam transmitting THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL is by redundant high-powered klystron amplifiers connected by a traveling waveguide to a five meter parabolic dish antenna.