DIE, GOLDEN GLOBES
12.11.08The Golden Globe noms came out today, and it was nice to see Tom Cruise recognized as a Best Supporting Actor for his three minutes of hilarious wigger dancing and fat suit wearing in Tropic Thunder. Such a talent. A lot of people probably wouldn’t have put him in there with Robert Downey Jr, Heath Ledger, and Philip Seymour Hoffman, but I think the video speaks for itself. They’re probably trying to make up for snubbing the Wayans Bros in White Chicks all those years ago. Elsewhere, Clint Eastwood was recognized for his awesome singing. No, really!
(Full list of nominees after the jump).
[via RopeofSilicon]
BEST PICTURE (DRAMA)
* The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
* Frost/Nixon
* Revolutionary Road
* The Reader
* Slumdog Millionaire [Ed. Note: I haven't seen any of these yet. Oh wait, neither has anyone else because they're not out yet.]BEST PICTURE (COMEDY/MUSICAL)
* Mamma Mia!
* Vicky Cristina Barcelona
* Burn After Reading
* Happy-Go-Lucky
* In Bruges [Ed. Note: I can attest that Burn After Reading and In Bruges were both rather sweet.]BEST ACTOR (DRAMA)
* Leonardo DiCaprio, Revolutionary Road
* Frank Langella, Frost/Nixon
* Sean Penn, Milk
* Brad Pitt, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
* Mickey Rourke, The WrestlerBEST ACTRESS (DRAMA)
* Angelina Jolie, Changeling
* Anne Hathaway, Rachel Getting Married
* Meryl Streep, Doubt
* Kristin Scott Thomas, I’ve Loved You So Long
* Kate Winslet, Revolutionary RoadBEST ACTOR (COMEDY/MUSICAL)
* Javier Bardem, Vicky Cristina Barcelona
* Colin Farrell, In Bruges
* James Franco, Pineapple Express
* Dustin Hoffman, Last Chance Harvey
* Brendan Gleeson, In BrugesBEST ACTRESS (COMEDY/MUSICAL)
* Sally Hawkins, Happy-Go-Lucky
* Frances McDormand, Burn After Reading
* Meryl Streep, Mamma Mia!
* Emma Thompson, Last Chance Harvey
* Rebecca Hall, Vicky Cristina BarcelonaSUPPORTING ACTOR
* Tom Cruise, Tropic Thunder [*points pistol finger at dick*]
* Robert Downey Jr., Tropic Thunder
* Philip Seymour Hoffman, Doubt
* Heath Ledger, The Dark Knight
* Ralph Fiennes, The DuchessSUPPORTING ACTRESS
* Amy Adams, Doubt
* Penelope Cruz, Vicky Cristina Barcelona
* Viola Davis, Doubt
* Marisa Tomei, The Wrestler
* Kate Winslet, The ReaderDIRECTOR
* David Fincher, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
* Danny Boyle, Slumdog Millionaire
* Stephen Daldry, The Reader
* Ron Howard, Frost/Nixon
* Sam Mendes, Revolutionary RoadANIMATED FILM
* WALL-E
* Bolt
* Kung Fu PandaSCREENPLAY
* Simon Beaufoy, Slumdog Millionaire
* David Hare, The Reader
* Peter Morgan, Frost/Nixon
* Eric Roth, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
* John Patrick Shanley, DoubtFOREIGN-LANGUAGE FILM
* Gomorrah
* I’ve Loved You So Long
* Waltz with Bashir
* The Baader Meinhof Complex
* Everlasting MomentsORIGINAL SCORE
* James Newton Howard, Defiance
* Alexandre Desplat, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
* A. R. Rahman, Slumdog Millionaire
* Hans Zimmer, Frost/Nixon
* Clint Eastwood, Changeling [Hear him sing!]ORIGINAL SONG
* “Down to Earth” from WALL-E
* “Gran Torino” from Gran Torino [Yep, the one where he sings]
* “I Thought I’d Lost You” from Bolt
* “Once in a Lifetime” from Cadillac Records
* “The Wrestler” from The Wrestler
Keep in mind, the Golden Globes are decided by the mysterious and shadowy cabal of douches known as the Hollywood Foreign Press Association. Says Nikki Finke:
Once again, I predict that whoever lobbied the so-called Hollywood Foreign Press Association the hardest will win. Be aware that the small motley local crew who belong to the scandal-riddled HFPA won’t grant membership to real journalists at the prestige newspapers across the world. As a result, I refuse to hype the HFPA’s b.s. awards. Trust me, they’re as meaningless as the crappy organization behind them.
Dude, she totally spelled ‘Motley Crüe’ wrong. *metal fingers*

Who. Gives. A. Flying. Fuck?
It’s the Globes, after all.
I wish the Hollywood Foreign Press Association was based in Mumbai.
Jm J. Bullock for the win!!!
Fuck the HFPA. How the fuck can foreigners determine what is the cream of the crop of American films? Take a bath more than once a week, shave your woman’s pits, then call me you dirty fucks.
This list does NOT kickstart His heart.
Take a bath more than once a week, shave your woman’s pits, then call me you dirty fucks.
QAPLAH!
From wiki:
“According to The New York Times, the HFPA “functions like an exclusive club, admitting a maximum of five new members a year, though more often…accepting only one. Any single member may object to a new member, making it extremely difficult to join. The association does not represent internationally renowned publications like Le Monde or The Times of London—indeed, it has repeatedly rejected applications from a Le Monde correspondent, while accepting applications from freelance writers from Bangladesh and South Korea”. The HFPA has also been scrutinized for being succeptable to heavy lobbying by studios and artists for nominations and awards. In 1981, the HFPA was heavily criticized after it was revealed that an award given to actress Pia Zadora had been preceeded by a junket to Las Vegas for HFPA members paid for by Zadora’s husband, prodcuer Meshulam Riklis. In 1999, HFPA members were ordered to return gift luxury watches sent by actress Sharon Stone as a promotion for her performance in The Muse.”
I haven’t seen any of those foreign-language films, but I didn’t like the prequel to Gomorrah.
The Baader Meinhof the less often I have to mow.
Eine Durst!
Are you shitting me? Michael Sheen once again got the shaft. Tom Cruise? TOM CRUISE???
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
(slices eyes open and pours salt followed by Diet Dr. Pepper into the gaping wounds)
Must lose sight…must lose sight…
Golden Globes?
Fuck all that! I’m watching “Bromance” on MTV.
Tom Cruise? Seriously? He was upstaged by his own fat suit. Way to inflate that crazy bastard’s ego, Golden Globes.
At least they had the good sense to nominate RDJ. Your move, Oscars.
Tom’s extra excited about possibly winning a Golden Globe. His old butt plug just isn’t stretching the old sphincter like it used to.
Tom got himself nominated so he can protect all the globes from Xenu.
People’s Choice Awards > MTV Awards > Golden Globes
Nope, still don’t have it. I’m gonna go do some work for a while.
You know, had they not included is stupid dancing shit in Thunder, I would’ve said his part was pretty funny.
All I can say now is I’ve almost got his moves down and I’m looking forward to the next wedding reception I attend. I’m going to be pulling snatch like I’m in a tug of war contest with a tractor.
Nice to see Marisa Tomei nominated for “The Wrestler” even though this movie hasn’t even come out yet. Apparently the nominators based it on those naked screencaps which recently appeared over there.
is is the new his according to the HFPA. Fucking foreigners.
Who cares? There is an award show every 20 mins now.
Who cares? So what! He’s hot. I saw him on AttentionWhoringCelebritiesAtYetAnotherAwardShow.com
CONGRATULATIONS EIBMOZ! You’ve just won the award for best use of a Disney Avatar in the Golden Globes thread! Here’s your recycled vibrator graciously donated by Al. Enjoy!
Al’s vibrators have been nominated for a Golden Probe.
JHC, for the last GD time, stay out of my armada. “Fred” was not intended for donation.
And if wearing fat suits gets you awards now, the Oscars owe Tracy Jordan an apology for snubbing Honkey Grandma be Trippin’.
I gave her Barney. You know, the short, thick one?
As long as you didn’t give away “Chris”, the sexy one ;)
Also, new up.
New up, now with viral!
This just in – HFPA: Anti-Semites!