DIDDY STILL WON’T SHUT UP ABOUT BOND
12.09.08
Diddy is constantly running his stupid mouth despite the fact that he’s never said anything interesting in his entire life. His latest fixation is campaigning to be the first black James Bond, to whom I would no doubt refer as “Lebron James Bond.” It’s also “rumored” that Diddy even spent $750K on an audition tape (video of that below).
“I know in [MI6] they have some black agents,” Diddy said at New York’s London Hotel. “I know there’s some black people that can save the world. White people aren’t the only people that can save the world. My variation, I would come from the New York agency. I would actually be working with James Bond. And he would get kidnapped, and I would have to come get him and save the day. It’s a natural thing. It’s organic. I think it would be a tragedy for the next James Bond not to be black, and I think the next Superman should be black. We are like the coolest creatures on the face of the Earth.” [MTV]
Yes, black people can do anything white people can do*, that’s why we elected one. You’re still an idiot. And why do you want a black James Bond when you’ve already got Black Dynamite, who’s 10 times cooler? As for a black Superman, well, most black dudes I know tend to wear boxers, and I think we can all agree that wearing boxer shorts on the outside of your blue spandex leotard would just look stupid.
*exceptions: fox hunting, waterpolo
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John, Sean John
Oh for the love of God. Would some crazy ass mofo from Iowa just shoot this fucker already?
Thanks Fek.
“We are like the coolest creatures on the face of the Earth.”
*blank face*
So Diddy thinks it would be natural for a black man to free a white man who was taken against his will?
Fact: The Mighty Feklahr doesn’t even want to kill this guy *just* because he’s black. He will just do less jail time in Iowa for it.
*winks to erswi*
Diddy is clearly ignorant…of his film history. The “NEXT” Superman should be black? And what, may I ask, of “Abar, the First Black Superman” (1977)? Are you pretending that film does not exist, Mr. Diddy?
Diddy: “I think it would be a tragedy for the next James Bond not to be black…”
Katrina Victim: “Yes, tragedy.”
In all fairness, having a black Superman wouldn’t be that much of a stretch. C’mon, his real name is Kal-El.
BTK, they had a black Superman. His name was Steel. He was played by Shaq. Fuck off and die in a fire, you babbling, narcissistic, egotistical moron.
We are like the coolest creatures on the face of the Earth.
*bites tongue*
I hope they hire 50 cent for the next Bond movie just to piss Diddy off.
can someone explain to me why puff daddy is still famous? i mean, riding the coattails of a dead, shot-up rapper should only get you so far.
Diddy gets to call black people “creatures”, but I get sideways looks when I yell out “you people”. So unfair…
And as for a “black James Bond,” I think Wildman Steve already has that covered in “The Six Thousand Dollar N*gger” (1979). I bet Diddy and Spike Jones would like to sweep this one under the rug, too.
I always thought that, if they were going to turn a white superhero black, it would make sense to make it The Flash.
Hey Diddy, I appreciate your opinion and all, but I liked this idea a lot better when it was Tracy Morgan’s.
The only thing less natural, less organic than having James Bond not be the hero in one of his own movies would be a black Aquaman.
They made the Green Lantern black. Mostly because he wears gaudy jewelry, but it still counts.
Just because you can dance, play sports at a professional level, get jobs before white applicants with the same qualifications, and sample rock and roll bands doesn’t make you the coolest creatures on earth.
Actually, I suppose it does. Well played Puffy. Well played.
I can’t wait for this affirmative action sequence. Instead of a shakey camera shot where you can’t see what’s happening, they’ll just waste a bunch of film waiting for the hero to show up.
I think after Undercover Brother all hope has been lost for a black spy franchise.
Lebron James Bond rides an Escalade instead of an Aston Martin.
Lebron James Bond prefers his Old English chilled, not stirred
“Ciroc martini… Harlem shaken, not stirred.”
Lebron James Bond is always looking for an Odd Job.
Let me be the first to say that Diddy is a natural for the lead role in the forthcoming ARIES SPEARS BIOPIC!
Instead of a Walther PPK, Lebron James Bond uses a Tek 9 at a ninety.
The first Lebron James Bond movie will be called Dr. Hell Naw.
Lebron James Bond’s only weaknesses are fat white women and orange soda.
Lebron James Bond doesn’t fight “Jaws”, he fights “Grillz”.
They should cast R. Kelly in The Man With the Golden Shower.
50 Cent will play Moneypenny in the Lebron James Bond movie.
Lebron, James Bond . . . izzle . . .
What? They all look the same to me, anyway!
Odd Job will throw a reebok pump? Nah, an LA Gear Regulator. Because black people are poor.
Beyonce will be cast as Octoroonpussy!
Lebron James Bond’sBlack Superman’s only weaknesses are fat white women and orange soda.Phicksed for my nigga, Pauly.
Lebron James Bond will be late to work.
Holla, JHC!
Beyonce will play Q for Lebron James Bond and is introduced in a musical number in which she tells LJB to “Lemme upgrade ya”
Gary Coleman can play Herve Vilechaize no? Si.
Pauly, your avatar yelling “Holla” is going to be stuck in my head all day.
Donk, you made me laugh and fart a little.
Black Superman won’t be afraid of the Krypto.
Godfuckingdammit! His Beyonce/Octoroonpussyjoke didn’t post then DOnk stole His thunder with a different Beyonce joke!
UPROXXX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DOr sho gha! NEVER MIND! What is up with this fucking site today?
Black Superman spends the majority of his time fighting Ashy Skin.
Lebron James Bond’s follow up film will be titled “The Man With The 10″ Love Gun”.
Fek, didn’t mean to step on your dick. I saw the Beyonce joke.
Mostly because he wears gaudy jewelry,
Uh oh. Alec Gardner’s going to try to talk to him now.
The plot thickens when the bad guy throws Lebron James Bond in the sickle cell.
It’s all good, Donk. Don’t hate the player, hate the game.
Black Clark Kent’s articles in The Daily Planet regularly get pushed to the back pages.
Black Clark Kent always checks the coin return slot in the phonebooths where he changes into costume.
Lebron James Bond cannot catch a cab to save his fucking life.
Black Superman’s Fortress of Solitude is located near the South Central Pole.
Urkel is the Black Clark Kent.
Diddy realizes that being in a movie requires him to actually do something other than bounce from one foot to the other and lipsync while flailing his arms, right?
Black Superman’s General Zod is Colonel Sanders.
When reached for comment Sean Connery muttered “fuckin’ Puff” and went back to his drink.
Black Superman’s General Zod is Colonel Sanders.
Dor sho gha!
Black Superman’s love interest is named LaQuishanta Lane.
Black Superman rides in a mercury cougar he bought of the mexicans.
New, unfortunate up.
Tracy Morgan’s LaMonte Bond would be infinitely more awesome than Diddy’s Bond.
Or maybe Diddy’s Superman and Beyonce’s Wonder Woman could make a movie together. Because it would probably be the most unintentionally hilarious movie ever. After 300, of course.
Diddy and kanye should be in a movie called the “Talentless.” And people know that black people can’t have real super powers….Green Latern needed a ring.
Soul Plane 2
It’s hipocritical for whitey to point out a black man’s love for purple drink without acknowleding his own love for strawberry drinks. Can’t we all just agree on our love of artificially flavored beverages?
The comments in this thread are not so much funny or ironic…strong leaning towards racist and offensive. Duck on that bitches.
I’m just saying…MeteorMan…
Strongly leaning towards racist and offensive and AWESOME. Dr. Hell Naw and Octaroonpussy are brilliant titles. Compared to Quantum of Solace and A View to a Kill, anyway.