Morning, folks. Christmas is over and you know what that means: back to watching your ass get fatter while your life slips away one Power Point slide at a time. Anyway, welcome back. To hell. I don’t have any sweet DVDs to award this week, probably because the PR reps are all on vacation, but since I’m such a nice guy I’ve so many sins to atone for, I’m buying this week’s winner this sweet Danny Trejo shirt.
As always, the way this works is, when a commenter makes a comment worthy of recognition, YOU nominate it by copy and pasting it in the comments section of this post. I’LL pick the winner from among the nominees next Sunday/Monday. (Often, like today, the winner gets a prize). FYI, the nomination thread is always linked in the ABOUT section.
On to the runners up:
From Astro Boy and the Unintentionally Sexy Tagline:
Rotwangchung says, “Astro Boy’s arch enemy is Michael Jackson with a butterfly net.”
Michael Jackson jokes are so five years ago, but bonus points for imagery. From the Merry Christmas from Lonestar thread:
The Mighty Feklahr says, “After this photoshoot, the guys from Lonestar held hands, wakeboarded, ran on the beach, mountain-biked, and took their Valtrex.”
From the Unintentionally Telling Quote about The Spirit thread:
Stone Soup says, “I once was Frank Miller’s partner for a game of Pictionary. We lost, mainly because he refused to show his drawings until he finished shading them in.”
In other news, “unintentionally” has unintentionally become the word of the day. From the Spooner Trailer thread:
Charlie Br0nze says, “Secret cancer? Is that like Secret Santa? I gave one colleague some Cesium-137 this year.”
Again from the Merry Christmas from Lonestar thread:
Pauly Dangerously says, ““I think they took the ‘Don we now our gay apparel’ line waaaaay too seriously.”
And again from the Spooner Trailer thread (boy, I really could’ve organized this better couldn’t I):
Rotwangchung says, “Personally, I’m a ‘sporker.’ Basically, it means I’ll spoon a fat chick until she farts.”
From the Push Still Looks Shitty thread:
Reluctantflux says, “So Dakota Fanning’s power is that she can see the future…but it’s just a “possible” future. If they do things differently, then her ‘vision’ may not come true? So…in other words…she just has a f-cking imagination.”
And first runner up goes to B.K., from the Christmas Links thread:
B.K. says, “Courtesy Handjob is my Indian name.” [Editor's Note: You had to be there.]
And the WINNER, of the Danny Trejo shirt is…. Burnsy. More for a consistently high level of funny than for any one comment in particular. Here’s a sampling:
From the Fast and Furious/4 Fast 4 Furious/Fast and Fourious thread: Burnsy says, “Paul Walker prepares for roles by watching Keanu Reeves movies at half speed.”
From the Astro Boy and the Unintentionally Sexy Tagline thread: Burnsy says, “‘“NAMBLA-influenced’ appears six times on my resume.
From the Crazy Cheetah Lady thread: Burnsy says, “A cat that wants to eat Chinese food is like a French person that wants to eat pussy.”
Xenophobia and homophobia all in one simile *kisses fingertips*. Congratulations to Burnsy and all.

Vince, you said a week back you liked Liar Liar. I re-watched it. steaming pile. Where can I watch the Hunter S Thompson bio doc?
Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Kiss my ass. Kiss his ass. Kiss your ass. Happy Hannukah.
Oh, the silent majesty of a winter’s morn. The clean, cool chill of the holiday air — and an asshole in his bathrobe, emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer.
C’mon, let’s go find your sister!
Shitter’s full!
7889
nominus says:
“Marley adopts $51.7m, puts Bedtime Stories to sleep”.
7925
Stone Soup says:
Please let there be a scene where all the cops in the doughnut shops say way-oh, way-o, way-o, way-o.
7934 (Australian Claymation is fuckin’ creepy)
Chodin works in a medium known as “wood”:
The problem with firing a clay actor is that then you end up with pot you can’t smoke.
second Chodin
7934 – Australian Claymation Crack Fest ’09
Pauly rapes my adolescence blind with:
“Claymation is cool, until some Blockheads come and fuck shit up.”
7889
nominus says:
“Marley adopts $51.7m, puts Bedtime Stories to sleep”.
7934 – Claymation
“Claymation is cool, until some Blockheads come and fuck shit up.”
7934 – Claymation
Seriously, you guys are sleeping at the fucking wheel here. How the fuck did Chino not get nommed for this already, you lazy fucks?
Firing a clay actor?? You’re kiln me, man!
second Chino
7944
MaxwellDemon says:
Or Revenge of the Titfuckers. Because right away you’re wondering, why do *they* want revenge?
/\ second (found myself laughing while leaving a voice mail…)
7944
Pauly:
“These bitches LOVE to get their “red wings”.
Yeesh and bravo.
7944:
Michelle07 says:
Better than Dyke Death Dealers…no wait, it’s not.
7949
Stone Soup says:
The movie makes it seem like everyone was just chomping at the bit to get in on the plan to kill Hitler
Really, is this any different than the Superbowl-winning football team collaborating to pour that giant cooler of icy Gatorade on the coach?
7949 (Valkyrie)
Stinky Peet:
Stauffenberg’s version of the shocker: two in the mound, eight on the ground.
http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/?p=7954
Donkey Hodey
That Indian dude kinda looks like Che.
Shiva Le Revolucion!
Don’t even ask
7966 Stone Soup:
I’d be so pissed if I was following this dude up an escalator
7966 Peet
pictured: Cam Gigandet in the role of Gayler Turdsin on the set of The Slap Fight Club.
I’ll drink to this gem from chodin on 7983 (Penn vs Rourke per Posner):
Gerald Posner is the first individual ever to be the joint-spokesperson for both Dove facial creams and fetal alcohol syndrome.
7973 twofer:
Chodin:
Gerald Posner is the first individual ever to be the joint-spokesperson for both Dove facial creams and fetal alcohol syndrome.
Stinky Peet:
Gerald Posner = Lou Diamond Phillips + windshield
7983 (Rourke sends text while trying to eat his phone) –
That fucker Stinky Peet simplifies math for everyone not in Mensa:
“Gerald Posner = Lou Diamond Phillips + windshiel”
+d
Note: 7973? 7983? Whatever, the Rourke/Penn one.
7973/7983/69696969 (Rourke fucks Penn real deep) Thread:
Donkey Hodey proves that it takes one to know one, with:
“No way I’d invite Gerald Posner to a slumber party. He looks like the kind of guy who eats dryer sheets and always takes truth over dare.”
7983
chodin:
When Gerald Posner gets a character drawing done at Six Flags, he always weeps at how fucking normal he could have looked if things had just been a little different in his life.
7973 (Try to draw three random names that look weirder than Rourke/Posner/Penn, I fucking dare you)
Pauly Dangerously completes this circle-jerk with:
Gerald Posner’s eyes don’t see eye-to-eye.
7973 (Rourke Pins Penn With Dick Milk) Thread:
Donkey Hodey keeps it Marty McFly with:
“Gerald Posner’s appearance can only be explained by one thing: time travel-based incest.”
7949
The Mighty Feklahr says:
The film tells the story of Colonel Klaus von Stauffenberg, the man who set the bomb in the final attempt to assassinate Hitler in 1944.
Some one set up us the bomb!
Second Chodin’s six flag comment in 7973.
7979
Stinky Peet:
Gwyneth Paltrow’s pussy is so big an Apple fell out of it.
7979
nominus says:
In my experience, two chicks would NEVER fuck someone named ‘Joaquin’. Although with his last name, it’d be totally cool to say ‘Like a Phoenix, he rose from the asses”.
7973 I got up late because I’m OFF ALL WEEK SUCKAS and I’m not sure if this was nommed yet or not but fuck you all if you think I’m gonna read two pages of nom thread to find out:
I heart Chodin and not just for his sexy eyebrows –
When Mickey Rourke text messages you, your cell phone is legally obligated to shout “Oh FUCK” as it’s ringtone.
7863
Rexy says:
So, now the bird world has their own version of P. Diddy?
7866
Pauly Dangerously says:
Play this movie backwards and you get “Summer School” with Mark Harmon.
7910
B.K. says:
INT. NEAL MCDONOUGH’S AGENT’S OFFICE, 2001
Neal’s Agent: Hey, Neal! Great news! I got you a part in the next Tom Hanks / Steven Speilberg World War II movie!
Neal: Wow! That’s amazing! What an opportunity!
Neal’s Agent: I know, right? Money in the bank! In fact, for the next ten years I’m gonna just concentrate on this giant pile of blow.
Neal: Okay . . .
Neal’s Agent: We’ll pad out your resume with supporting cast gigs in thrillers with Lindsey Lohan and action revenge movies with The Rock. Oh, and this heinous sequel to The Wizard of Oz. You get to play the Tin Man!
Neal: Uh . . .
Neal’s Agent: By the way, I plan on killing a hooker or two, so you’re going to have to do a Street Fighter movie to cover my lawyer’s fees.
Neal: Can I at least work with Clint Eastwood?
Neal’s Agent: Oh sure, I’ll set that up for you between your stints on various failing television shows.
Neal: That all sounds good to me. Have some more money.
7934
chodin says:
I don’t mess with the word “claymation”. At least not since there was that American Idol misunderstanding and I ended up having to fuck my way through the Clay Aiken fan club.
7949
Donkey Hodey says:
Headline: Stauffenberg uses two fingers, but can’t bring Valkyrie to climax.
7991
ChinoMoreno says:
The most requested bikini wax in Egypt is not the Brazilian, but the Gaza Strip.
7991
Chino says:
The most requested bikini wax in Egypt is not the Brazilian, but the Gaza Strip.
Third Chino’s feminine hygiene. Oh, and her post about something or another was pretty good too.
Super duper second the Stinky Pete and Chino comments, but don’t think for a second I would wage my Trejo shirt on it.
8011- Fek finds that one liner that I was struggling to come up with.
Dead-a oll arive, you’ll coming-a with-a ME!
In 8032, Stinky puts two in my pink with:
I don’t know if I can tell you exactly when the pussy generation started.
I may be off, but I think it was right around the time you made Pink Cadillac.
8008
Charlie Br0nze says:
it’s about time anyone mimicking a hamster stopped using that helium voice thing. Every hamster i’ve spoken to sounds like Tom Waits.
8034
Burnsy says:
FOX is already suing over the rights to their own Hot Wheels, which is about lighting people in wheelchairs on fire.
-AND-
ChinoMoreno says:
The closest I ever got to owning a Hot Wheel was when I tried to steal a big chunk of pepper jack.
8037
Rexy says:
When will Fox release the Unmaking of Watchmen?
2nd this, FOR GREAT JUSTICE!!
7949
The Mighty Feklahr says:
The film tells the story of Colonel Klaus von Stauffenberg, the man who set the bomb in the final attempt to assassinate Hitler in 1944.
Some one set up us the bomb!