Hey, remember The Crow? Well guess what, they’re remaking it. And it’s going to be directed by none other than that guy who did A League of Extraordinary Gentleman (see clip below).
For Stephen Norrington, “The Crow” deal marks the end of a long screen sabbatical. After making his breakthrough with “Blade,” Norrington took on “The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.” Neither the director nor his star, Sean Connery, has made a film since.
Norrington said he felt [rightly -Ed.] demoralized by that experience, and the accomplished sculptor spent the next five years writing and working on his art.
“Whereas Proyas’ original was gloriously gothic and stylized, the new movie will be realistic, hard-edged and mysterious, almost documentary-style,” Norrington told Daily Variety.
That’s right, accomplished sculptor. He started out sculpting creature effects and now he gets to direct movies. This is basically like going to the dentist and getting your fillings re-done by the guy who built the chair. Who has a faux hawk and wears an earring shaped like a feather.
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‘Neither the director nor his star, Sean Connery, has made a film since.’
…
Good.
You know who’d be perfect for this role?
Heath Ledger Brandon Lee River PhoenixZac Effron!This just made me kick my desk.
Probably get a better movie if they let Brandon Lee direct.
Neither the director nor his star, Sean Connery, has made a film since.
At least Connery had the decency to die of old age. Right?
Finally, Weston Cage is getting work.
I will only watch this if they dig up Brandon Lee and use him like a marionette.
Finally, they’re making a realistic rendition of a movie about a guy who comes back from the dead in the form of a gothic rocker with the powers of a bird everybody hates.
Is audacity the only qualification for directing a big budget movie? “Hey, I have no experience or applicable skills. Gimme $2 mil, final cut and a chair with my name on it. Kthanx.”
I can’t wait to see how they realistically portray the undead guy from crawling out of his grave.
Banner Pic: Electrical tape is by far the gothiest of all the rolled-strip adhesives.
Somebody want to tell the producer that just because Norrington looks like a bird, that doesn’t qualify him to direct The Crow?
I hope nobody sees me crying here at work. i can only tell them that i’ve sat on my balls so many times.
Maybe in this version The Crow will be played by an actor.
Banner Pic: Electrical tape is by far the gothiest of all the rolled-strip adhesives.Fixed!
I’d give him more credit for having done Blade but the sad truth is that Wesley Snipes wasn’t acting in that movie.
Two Questions:
1. Who’s starring in this steaming pile of shite?
2. Can we shoot him too?
A slight spoiler has already been leaked. At the end, The Crow fights a massive blimp.
This is going to end up a huge hit and win all sorts of awards, and then you mean people will all have to eat… uh, you’ll be sorry.
The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen was so fucking bad that I couldn’t think of anything worse than it. I’d rather watch Empire Records.
I think Vance gets a blumpkin every time he changes the post.
Banner Pic: (awwww fuck it.)
“Whereas Proyas’ original was gloriously gothic and stylized, the new movie will be realistic, hard-edged and mysterious, almost documentary-style,” Norrington told Daily Variety
Just what we need now. Crowverfield.
BRB, He is going to go to the office next door and voice His displeasure at a Crow remake. WITH BLOOD!
(I mean, seriously, what’s next? A “Bad Lieutenant” remake?…)
I am running off to hug my Brandon Lee doll and cry!
You can tell that fauxhawk guy is JUST about to say, “ZUT ALORS!”
Lince, you better fucking hope that none of us ever decide we should “shoot the messenger”.
I think that dude in the thumbnail is doing his best “douchecock” impression.
In this one, the main character is rendered unable to stand by Botox.
Everybody knows that stuff gets rid of Crow’s feet.
*Gets the corner comfortable for the week to come*
Hey little thing lemme light your candle ’cause momma I’m so hard to BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!
(Wow, if none of you speak a lick of French, He will have to pretend it is some pansy saying in Klingonese.)
The only thing fauxhawks say is “Lets have anal sex, I am a bottom”
It is time for a new game, kids! “Out-Durst Feklahr!”
This is how it works, The Mighty Feklahr asks a question, then answers it in the most Durst-like fashion He can! The winner is the one who can out-Durst His response the worst!
This episode’s question: Which actor (that has made a movie in the past ten years and is less than 50 years old) would durst the lead role of the Crow Remake the worst?
Dor sho gha! What a conundrum…The Mighty Feklahr feels compelled to say:
Shia LeBarf
Have at it, kotals!
“Lets have anal sex, I am a bottom”
Guy’cha! That is what “zut alors” means in Klingon!!!
This could be the worst Crow since Jim.
i quit movies
Keanu Reeves as ‘The Woah’
@Fek–dude from Dragon Ball.
After reading this, I feel like a little fuckin’ turd on a big fuckin’ dick.
Vin Diesel in Crow Magnon.
Speilberg could be directing a remake, and I’d still be sad. The Crow was awesome.
Any random retard as “Extra Crow Mazome”
Fek – Zac Efron.
Hello?
*crickets chirp*
Maxwell-Chow Yun Fat????
Oh Shit! Jake Gyllenhaal!
Game. Set. Match.
I can see how these mistakes happen…
Exec: You’ll never guess who I just signed to do the Crow remake! The guy who Directed the last BATMAN flicks!
Norrington: Actually that was Chris Nolan.
Exec: Who are you then?
Norrington: I’m Steve Norrington.
Exec: SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
erswi-No, and here’s why: Efron could act all tragically unfashionable and shit…just what Fauxhawk wants!
A guy that fucks cowboys and hallucinates about demonic looking rabbit-men? How is that “Durst”?
Andy Dick
Fek, Larry The Cable Guy.
@Fek–I meant Justin Chatwin, but most of the cast of Dragonballz would be interesting–Emmy Rossum, Ernie Hudson. There’s even an actor called Texas Battle, who stole his name from a monster truck show.
In this real estate market, it would be scarier if they made The Escrow. Caw caw, your credit sucks!
Paul Walker in a mash-up/remake: The Fast and the Furious:Crowme
Patton Oswalt
@Fek
Linda Hunt
btk, there’s a new up…winner will be declared soon
And another piece of Jessica’s soul dies.
Thanks fuckers.
I’d like to apologize to everyone for making a joke about The Crow this weekend. Clearly my mind powers are at it again, and just my mere mention of something makes it happen, titties titties free booze and titties with wads of cash.
What the hell are you all talking about?! Large black birds fly into cemeteries and reanimate dead guys seeking revenge for the murder of himself and his girlfriend by gangsters who burned down their apartment building on Devil’s Night, because they refused to move, like every day! Come on, guys, you can totally portray that realistically! Especially if you have experience directing a 70 yr-old corpse playing a superhero!….what a disgrace this is….