Adrien Brody, who won a special place in my heart for dipping Halle Berry and making out with her after winning his Oscar in 2002 (which clearly should’ve gone to Daniel Day-Lewis as Bill the Butcher), is back to his old ways. And by his old ways, I mean seizing every opportunity to make out with black chicks. This time, Beyoncé.
Adrien Brody (Leonard Chess in the movie) admitted during the premiere of Cadillac Records on Monday that making out and rolling around on the ground with Beyoncé, Etta James in the movie, wasn’t part of the script, nor was it historically accurate, but no one complained.
“Let’s just say it wasn’t a deal breaker,” Brody said. “When I met Etta [the real one], she told me, ‘Leonard and I did not do those things!’ So, yes, it was somewhat embellished. But what’s wonderful is the truth Beyoncé brings to that moment. That justified it.” [NYDailyNews]
Brody continued heaping praise upon his co-star, saying, “What can I say, man, those titties don’t lie! How you gon’ hate a nigga for tryin ta get a piece? A-Brode love him some dark meat.” Okay, not really. You’ll never believe this, but I actually just made that last part up. Still, you have to respect a gawky ass dude like Adrien Brody taking his fame as an opportunity to strong arm every chick that comes near him. That’s what I’d do. I’d also probably make fog horn sounds when I grabbed her boobs. Because I’m all man, ladies.
[more pictures @ TheBlemish]
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Phun Photoshop Phact™: If you take the banner pic and adjust the contrast to -34, you get a picture of David Copperfield and Claudia Schiffer.
Brody went on to “Tune in Tokyo” on Beyonce, only to hear over and over, “Tuln down vorume on dat nose, gaijin!”
Makes sense. Brody’s nose is the only thing that fits in Beyonce’s crack, including light and sound.
Brody struggled for hours with the guilt of whether or not to depict a historically accurate representation of Leonard Chess. Ultimately it was his barfing dick that convinced him otherwise.
He doesn’t like black chicks. He like Milanos. Or muffalettas. You know, mutts.
She’s used to kissing Jay-Z. She probably didn’t even feel Adrien’s skinny little lips.
Jigga wha??
Fuck, I totally forgot that Brody’s dry underacting beat Lewis’ effervescent melodrama. FUCK BRODY!
So as long as I have tape rolling, it’s not technically rape?
Coo, coo….I can dig that swine.
Adrian Brody can smell Beyonce’s ancestors.
Hey J, who do you like with DAL +2.5 in PIT?
Just another case of a dude with a chick’s name pulling more tail than he should.
*looks at burnsy*
BTK, Halle Berry and Beyonce are as black as Obama.
*licks his fingers, rubs his eyebrows, tickles Pauly’s butt*
Adrian Brody needs to go back to the party store – that thing he’s wearing is supposed to have glasses attached to it.
His jew nose syncs up perfect with her black lips.
Was that racist?
I like Brody going after the 70′s-porn-bush-on-your-face look. Trying to hide his nose I spose.
Adrien Brody is so secure in his girl’s name that he would fuck his cousin without any hesitation.
*winks at Burnsy*
That depends, Pauly – are you referring to their physical features with the intent to point them out as stereotypical? If so, then no – not at all.
That’s a tuffy you got there Crappy. I’d go with the Steelers straight up. So you should pick the Boys. Like always. Fag.
As beautiful as Boincy is, Michael motherfucking Jackson is blacker than her. He’s also got more than one decent record in his back catalogue.
Etta James also did not sing generic pop music over annoying hip-hop beats while repeating the same phrase over and over again.
You know what I find hides a huge fucking nose?
A butthole.
I want to upa upa upgrade Beyonce into a fucking hole in the ground everytime that commercial comes on TV. I’m watching Mythbusters on Science Channel, not Shaquinta’s Beat Hour on BET you retards. Learn your demos.
PIT it is then. TNX J!
“You know what I find hides a huge fucking nose?”
A phonebook wrapped around a baseball bat with duct tape?
If she were a boy, she’d still suck Jay-Z’s fetal alcohol syndromed cock.
GRRR……….WEALTHY RETARDS!!!!
“You gotta get. That. Kike off ya shouldas”
Adrian’s Jewish mother threatened to cut off the rest of his dick if he got it, “anywhere near another darkie.”
Ok, now THAT was racist.
*kicks Chuck Taylors on desk and leans back*
Ahhh, that’s better.
Well, since now it’s “OFFICIAL” that movies don’t give a fuck about historically accurate content, can we greenlight my script about Adolf Hitler and Captain America having sex?
If Jim Henson were still alive, Adrien Brody would still be in the workshop where he belongs.
If Adrien Brody ever leaned in to French kiss me, I’d probably just assume that he was about to barf dead worms down my hatch.
I think of the immortal words of Jim Henson, “It’s just a cold.”
I think of the immortal words of Bernie Mac, “It’s just a cold.”
I think of the immortal words of Heather O’Rourke, “It’s just a cold.”
Apparently jungle fever causes swelling of nose and uncontrollable facial hair.
If Adrien Brody ever leaned in to French kiss me, I’d probably just assume that he was about to barf dead worms down my hatch.
Those worms arent dead, they are drunk on Manishevitz.
I think of the immortal words of the Donner Party, “It’s fucking cold.”
“What’s wonderful is the truth Beyoncé brings to that moment.”
In yiddish, “truth” means “dribble dick boner.”
rapbas, looks like Denis Leary’s words are immortal, too.
“Manischewitz” was my incorrect answer on that 9th grade Holocaust quiz.
If you took Adrien Brody’s nose and Jay-Z’s lips, you’d get Snuffleupagus.
Fuck the kiss not being historically accurate, since when did Etta James give me a big boner?
“Sorry dick, I know this is histoically impossible for you to understand.”
When asked to comment on the make out scene, Jay-Z mentioned that he wasn’t bothered. Meanwhile, his entourage scoffed, “You gonna’ let fuckin’ Boss Hog do dat’ to yo lady? You a bitch, Z…you a beotch!”
“Histoically” is what I go through when i listen to Def Leppard’s Hysteria
inkyPee, I think you mean Neal Isreal.
When reached for comment, Jay-Z asked Brody “How does my dick taste, playa?”
whatever, i’d use beyonce’s crotch as a gas mask during a holocaust shower
…and brody did smell her butt nuggets (lucky bastard)
When reached for comment, Jay-Z shot the reporter.
When reached for comment, Jay-Z reported “I got 99 problems but some skinny-ass big-beaked white boy movin in on a bitch ain’t one”
Wait a second…hold the fucking phone, Jim Kellys understudy: he tosses her salad in this movie?
Where do I sign?
When reached for comment, Jay-Z played his new diss-track titled “Hook Nosed Lil’ Bitch”.
New up, allegedly with video but how the hell would a Canadian know…
I respect a man who goes for what he wants.
Adrien-who!? Pshhh, hell no, I’m talking about my uncle, the molester.