12.16.08 A LIST OF THINGS FUNNIER THAN KEVIN JAMES
If you caught The Ultimate Fighter finale on Saturday night like I did, you probably remember Joe Rogan interviewing Kevin James and his gay TapouT hat (way to go, fatass, you’re totally hardcore now) about his new movie, Paul Blart: Mall Cop. But unless you watched the Video Game Awards the other night, you were probably lucky enough to miss his turn as presenter. The ensuing skit isn’t so much a comedy bit as it is a mashup of everything wrong with society. Rampage Jackson comes out at the 3:10 mark and whiffs on the only chance to make this a success by not punching Kevin James really hard in the face. Things that would’ve been fresher and funnier than this:
Bears riding horses [Adds Ufford: I bet they finished in the honey]
Kevin James getting hit with a pie
Kevin James smashing watermelons with a sledgehammer
Kevin James in blackface
Kevin James balancing spinning plates on sticks
Kevin James juggling on a unicycle
Kevin James vs. a tiger
Puppies dying
A brilliant scientist slowly succumbing to Alzheimer’s disease
ANYTHING. ANYTHING IN THE ENTIRE WORLD.
*brain aneurysm*
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/10/ateam-small-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/10/rampage-etdouche-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/10/a-team-rampage-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/09/ginacarano-knuckwrap-150x150.jpg)
There are 120 comments about:
A LIST OF THINGS FUNNIER THAN KEVIN JAMES
Oh, so you think Kevin James isn’t funny?
Thanks a lot, now you made his mom cry.
Needs more Rob Schneider.
Add to the list of things funnier than Kevin James:
a crutch
You left off “…in a kennel fire” to that puppy one VaLince.
You know what’s funnier than Kevin James?
Kevin James with AIDS.
I hope Kevin strips down to his underwear and runs around screaming in this, because that shit is hiiiiiilaaaaaaarious!!! ROTFJO!!
Paul Blart: Mall Cop
I’ve got it! We’ll take Daniel Stern’s character from Home Alone and put him in Bruce Willis’ role in Die Hard. Can’t miss!
*drinks bleach*
How long has Triple H been off the ‘roids now?
I did catch The Ultimate Fighter Finale on Saturday, Vince. If you’d told me that Escudero would end up beating Nover, I’d have told you that you were retarded.
Browning actually looked pretty good against Kaplan though.
I was soooooo fucking happy Bader knocked out Maghales or whatever the fuck his name was.
/MMA hard on
A list of things less funny than Kevin James:
1. Kevin James
Kevin James was fired from the cast of “Delgo” as “not cartoony enough.”
More things funnier than Kevin: Sharting your pants in a parent teacher conference.
Carrot Top says “Kevin James makes me cry.”
I hear that if you uppercut Kevin James, a dude pops out and yells “Toasty!”.
I realize that this list thing was a blatant attempt on VaLince’s part to get a massive 200 comment funny fest going, and I sir, will bite;
More things funnier than Kevin: Your mom
Things funnier than Kevin James:
1) The youtube comments to that video
What? You mean those people are being serious?
*continues working tirelessly on a self-sufficient habitat disconnected from society*
More things funnier than Kevin: The commenters over there
BTK, I finish in the honey all the time. Nobody ever knows because I stir it in really well and it’s already really sticky.
More things funnier than Kevin: Hobos raping kittens to death
More things funnier than Kevin: Cancer in your piss hole
More things funnier than Kevin: Madonna
Funnier than Kevin James: Mark Wahlberg.
Funnier than Kevin James: self-imposed testicular torsion.
Scientology told Kevin James “We don’t want you to join, and keep your money.”
More things funnier than Kevin: Whicker Man. Seriously, I laughed myself into a pee leak watching that.
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