WOLVERINE IS EXCITED TO SEE YOU
11.26.08
Empire‘s latest cover features Hugh Jackman – more like… Huge… Jacked-man, am I right? Anyone? Fine, I’ll just go out the way I came in… – along with a preview of X-Men Origins: Wolverine, which will have its first trailer attached to The Day the Earth Stood Still on December 12. Maybe it’s just the lighting, but to me it kinda looks like Wolverine’s sporting a little adamantium down there if you know what I’m sayin, and I think you do.
“Who wants to get down on this MUTANT BONER?” I imagine him demanding. “Come on, ladies, I know you’ve always wondered what’d be like to be with a man who RECOVERS INSTANTLY.”
*mouths “CALL ME”, puts hand phone up to ear*
“F-ck! I stabbed myself in the head again!”
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![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2011/10/Baz-Jackman-Karaoke2-150x150.jpg)
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Jackman has Adam Ant in um?
Queer.
If I looked like that, I’d give myself a boner too.
Fag.
Al’s at luch. She’s gonna be so pissed she can’t slap her slit to this.
Who would win in a fight, Wolverine or Robert Pattison’s Buddha?
Hey, hey, JHC. I came into the thread with a boner already. That shit aint my fault.
I was thinking about writing a serious comment about how I might actually see this movie, but then a pop-up came up on my screen reading “Are you fucking serious right now? Yes. No.”
Not even a preview for “BTK: The Movie” could drag my ass to “The Day the Earth Stood Still”.
After being forcibly castrated for Viva Laughlin its good to know Jackman was able to find a suitable prosthesis.
As “The World’s Biggest Movie Magazine” it had better have a place for my dick to penetrate
Do Mutant Boners spooge green Ninja Turtle ooze? If so, put one in MY mouth, STAT.
Can’t blame Wolverine for liking the ladies. After all, he can’t exactly wank himself with those razor hands, can he? (Edward Scissorhands had the same problem, but after all, that’s why Winona Ryder was for, right?)
Topper, nice avi.
If I had to fuck a superhero, it’d probably be The Invisible Woman, because that way when my parents walked in, I could just say that I was jacking off.
that’s WHAT Winona Ryder was for, dammit. Time to go back to work, those commuters need their windshields wiped.
Sorry, this post was asking for this:
filmdrunk.uproxx.com/?p=676
Fek’lhr says:
True story, I knew this kid with ADHD in junior high that was obsessed with Wolverine. One time he says to me (essentially verbatim, to the best of my recollection), “Wouldn’t it be cool if Wolverine could grow his claws as long as he wanted? Then he could be like sitting on the toilet, and if his upstairs neighbor sat on the toilet at the same time he could grow his claws like 15 feet long and stab through the ceiling and fuck the guy upstairs in the ass with his claws!”
We got an A+ on our science project.
With chops and a wife beater like that he would be trailer trash if he didn’t have claws.
There is this great Punisher comic where he blows off Wolverine’s face with a shotgun, so Wolverine has to run around most of the comic without a face. Then Punisher shoots him in the gonads. He’s all like Ahnold from Terminator 2, “He’ll live!”
I love Punisher.
He’d be a (k)total badass working at a Benihanna’s.
This is whey teh ghey.
Durst sasauge fest with no chick in a post about Hugh’s dick?
Diremutt, out.
The best thing about fucking the Invisible Woman is you have a built in excuse for slipping it in her butt.
“Geesh! Sorry hun! I can’t tell the fucking difference when I’m in rhythm. HEE HEE.”
J-Bah, He can always tell teh difference. If He “accidentally” slips it in the ol’ cornhole, it comes out looking like an exploded microwave burrito.
Is Empire magazine usually so gay? Not only is the stuffing-bulge ridiculous, but they’ve also slipped the words “biggest” and “massive” right onto their front cover.
GRRRRR…. SUBLIMINAL!
Wow
I’ll be back in a minute, I must go furiously masturbate…
I can always tell because I wake up with a sore jaw and a few loose teeth, Fek.
I would like some adamantium in me. Anywhere it would fit.
New up, more dick!
Apparently, he has a huge ackman.