Hey, remember when I passed along that story about Brett Ratner getting a BJ from a trannie? Back then I was sort of busting his balls because he’s a crappy director, but now I’m genuinely creeped out. In this video, originally posted on /Film, Brett Ratner films while he and Michael Jackson dance to R. Kelly in the car. No, you’re not hallucinating. I can’t put my finger on exactly what’s so GD creepy about this. My best guess is that it feels like a cross between the Car Full of Guidos video and the Mini-me sex tape. Let that bounce around your subconscious for a while.
Jackson apparently also visited the set of Red Dragon, and Ratner had plenty more creepy things to say about him in this interview with the A/V Club:
AVC: I remember growing up, he was the most famous person in the world.
BR: It’s not even that. It’s like the people who create something. Mozart is much more famous than Napoleon, for instance. Mozart is creating something that’s lasting forever in music. Michael does not even belong. It’s like God is channeling through him. Even if he sits here with us, and just sings like three notes, it’s like, “Oh my God.” It’s beyond anything. I’ve worked with a hundred of the biggest artists in the world, from Madonna to Mariah Carey, and he is just beyond. He’s at a whole other level, spiritually. He’s got the God spot. Everyone has it, everyone has that God spot, but it’s just the way he’s in tune with it. He has it. It’s right there, and when he starts to sing, God has just opened it up for him. That’s why he’s not comfortable around people and things, because he’s just such a unique—he feels blessed just to be himself. “I can’t believe I’m Michael Jackson.” [Laughs.] That’s what it is, really. He is one of the most unique people. I’ve spent a lot of time with him, so has Chris. Just sitting in the back of a car, and music playing, and then him, he moves like God is going through him. Not to knock Usher or anybody else, but you see when they’re dancing, they’re like, “One, two, three, four.” He’s just like, natural. He’s amazing, he really is amazing. He’s got a bad rap, but the truth is, he’s a child. Michael Jackson never grew up, but that’s what makes him so special.
Ahh, I see, he’s like a child and a trannie. No wonder Ratner loves him so much.
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That’s funny, because little kids move like Michael Jackson is going through them.
Lince, that’s funny that you want Him to bounce weird shit around in His psyche. Did you not get the last rabbit stew He cooked for you?
I’m picturing hundreds of cars pulling up along side them on the interstate, slowing down to look, and then throwing so many hallucinogens and flasks out the window that the side of the road looks like Amy Winehouse’s apartment.
For God spots, I use Oxi Clean AND a Sham Wow.
Thanks for not showing the footage where the trannie actually blows him.
“Lets see – I have carved my face to look like Diana Ross, I have a house filled with amusement park rides and camels, I pay off parents to let me sleep with their children, and I have dangled my own baby by his legs from a hotel balcony. How can I be MORE bizarre? OOOH – I’ll go hang out with Brett Ratner!”
Brett Ratner’s love for MJ is one sided, as Ratner isn’t a pre-teen boy
Ratner’s jealous he never got to be fingered by MJ as a child. All he had was his uncle, and his uncle ain’t never won no grammy!
Proof there is no God? No one suicide bombs these fuckers when they have them in one place together (well, or was detained by an asthma attack).
The God Spot would be a great name for a strip club next to a church.
It’s funny because I have asthma!
Behold the magic of Brett Ratner – that’s not Michael Jackson at all, that’s a mannequin covered in Brett’s backhair and a top hat being manipulated by strings.
“Everybody has a God Spot” is the controversial sequel to “Everybody Poops”
Macaulay Culkin no longer has a God spot.
Little known secret – you need to curl your finger forward just a bit to hit the God Spot.
Brett Ratner’s God spot is just behind his prostate.
When John Lennon said shit like this they black listed him. John Lennon’s ghost is not pleased.
Sure the two of them picked up a little boy and had sex with him, but Ratner put a wig on the boy first to make it “ok”
Michael Jackson WOULD dance to R. Kelly, the two probably have “I’m innocent” rape parties
This is a clip from Brett’s new prime time show “Touched By A Mangel”
I’m impressed they kept the harem of boy scouts out of shot.
R Kelly: acquitted of child pornography charges.
Michael Jackson: acquitted of child molestation.
If I were Brett Ratner, I’d hire a legal team now to start preparing my defence.
Brett Ratner, you’re supposed to be a director. For a living. I’ve seen epileptic Parkinson’s patients hold a camera more steady. And honestly, could you have picked more apropos music? (Didn’t R. Kelly just go to trial over child pornography charges back in May? And Michael Jackson… well, let’s just say that it’s been scientifically proven that Michael Jackson eats child pornography for breakfast). I swear to God this video should be played to every parent who ever thought about sending their child to “Neverland Ranch.” And by this video I mean they should just show them the court evidence instead. Either way the two morals of this story remain unchanged:
1. Brett Ratner should never direct anything. Ever. and
2. Don’t ever let Michael Jackson anywhere near your child’s “ignition.”
That was possibly more terrifying and disturbing than when I accidentally watched Silence of the Lambs at age 3.