WEEKEND LINKS!
11.15.08
As you can see, the new Coraline poster is out. If this movie were about me, the room with all the light spilling out would be full of hot chicks peeing. What? It’s erotic.
Biggest Bond ever – Quantum of Solace makes $27 mil on Friday. In related news, I got a free drink when someone thought I was someone else. [RopeofSilicon]
Burn E, the short attached to Wall E, is now available for free online. If robots were this cute in real life, the Japanese might not be so GD weird. [TrailerAddict]
Fake Joaquin Phoenix explains his retirement from acting. [ScreenJunkies]
The Spirit has a Christmas trailer set to that one Christmas song. Thisisgonnasuck thisisgonnasuck thisisgonnasuck… [Filmonic]
The Dark Knight’s musical score has been ruled ineligible for an Oscar. It is, however, still eligible for a dismissive wanking motion. Hooray, it won! [NYTimes]
New poster for The Day the Earth Stood Still looks a lot like old poster for Independence Day. Welcome da Still Earff! [Empire]
ET visits the set of Prince of Persia. Is it just me, and I’m not just saying this because his movies suck, but does Jerry Bruckheimer kinda look like a little kid with Down Syndrome? Or maybe it’s that he gets his hair cut by a little kid with Down Syndrome? [ET]
Pictures of “LARPers” – that’s Live Action Role Players. They’re as sexy as you’d imagine. [holytaco]
That dude from Will & Grace wants to eat vagina. It’s funny because I thought he was queer. [Atom]
Gary Busey is still delightfully insane. “Hear that dog barking? That is not my dog.” [CollegeHumor]
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“Hear that dog barking? That is not my dog, but I will rail coke off of it.”
I thought it said hot chinks pissing at first.
That would be a great band name.
“Hear that dog barking? No you don’t, cocksucker.”
Here’s to hoping that The Day The Earth Stood Still ends similarly to Independence Day.
There just isn’t enough metaphorical Randy Quaid revenge-sodomy out there anymore.
All those LARPers and not one of Fek? I call bullshit.
I found this video of Suckheimer kicking a toddler at McDonalds.
http://nothingtoxic.com/media/1224797794/Kid_With_Down_Syndrome_KO-d_For_Kicking_Toddler
In related news, I got a free drink when someone thought I was someone else.
Marisa Tomei?
Jerry Bruckheimer: Making hydrocephalus cool since never!
Banner Pic: Here’s to wishing you hadn’t opened that door while Malkovich was beating it.
Some of my friends in college were into that LARP shit. I saw one of my friends walking to his car in a god damn elf costume one time, and I started yelling across the street at him, “Blue elf needs food badly! Blue elf needs food badly! Ya fuckin’ tossah! What the fuck, man? Aaaaaaaa ya fucker! Get on with ya faggoty elf motherfooken self. Pretending like ya can’t hear me. GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!”
(Yeah, so I was drunk in public at the time and speaking with an Irish brogue for some reason.)
“Here that dog barking? I fucked that dog.”
Gary Busey can hear that dog thinking.
“I got a free drink when someone thought I was someone else.”
Luke Walton?
Banner Pic: Zuul has had to move to some less posh digs after the whole “Gozer gets toasted” incident.
Is that supposed to say “hot chicks kissing” or “hot chicks pissing”? Now I’m confused. And need to pee.
Burn E is what I call it my pee.
My pet robot is better than Burn-E. His name is Buse-E, and he’s currently eating the curtains in my living room.
UPDATE: It appears that Buse-E is now trying to fuck the ceramic iguana in the bathroom.
Is Donkey having some sort of seizure?
UPDATE: I have taken the batteries out of Buse-E, to no avail. He somehow his powering himself on what he claims is a mixture of “Jesus-fire” and “coyote’s blood.” He appears to be assembling some sort of neutron bomb in the basement. Good news, though, the blast radius is only ten miles, so I’m posting this from my phone. In Utah.
“A Friend Has a crush. Find Who Rigth (sic) NOW!!!”
I know His Thumbs has no control over the ads, but that beeping one is FUCKING ANNOYING holy shit, is anyone else getting that? Now I’m dying to know who has a crush.
*Stands up, spits out foam, wipes off mouth*
What seizure?
The Buse-E Robot got the Terrified Parents Association seal of approval.
I got a pet robot named Burns-E. It has eight different action ways of saying “It’s not just a girl’s name!”
I don’t have the “crush” ad. But there is a ghost telling me it wants to earn a business administration degree in less than 24 months. Can you imagine having a ghost as a manager? It’s bad enough I can’t get mine to stop calling me in the middle of the night. This one would rattle chains at the foot of my bed and tell my children they had to solve mysteries.
They have a bootleg trailer for Star Trek up over at Durden. Since when do “those people” do movies? Albeit shitty ones?
I seriously confused myself this afternoon when I thought I was reading a FilmDrunk post about the Star Trek trailer. I checked the comments and they were all graphic descriptions of how they’d rape the “negress.” Then I realized I it wasn’t a Klan rally, it was Durden.
Empty moon pie. :(
I made a robot named Paul E who just drinks and fucks around on FilmDrunk all day.
The Mighty Feklahr cannot believe it took FIVE WHOLE POSTS before He was accused of being a LARPer!
BAH! Listen guys, He might like Star Trek, Lord of the Rings, Dungeons and Dragons, Magic the Gathering, and even have a Lothlorien leaf clasp, but He does *NOT* LARP.
That shit is for fucking losers.
BTK, the ONLY guy He ever knew that liked to LARP consequently also liked to play with dicks. You do the math.
I heard of a robot called Curl E who did nothing but start pun wars.
I knew a robot called Donk E who could never beat me at Scramble.
He was pretty good with numbers, though.
Real names have no place in here, Al. For shame.
Do you really only know one LARPer, Fek? I know dozens of them. I know a few of the medieval reenactment LARPers, and several people I know played live action vampire or werewolf RPGs. There’s probably even more games that they played that they were too embarrassed to tell me about.
You know someone named “Curl”? How strange.
Al, go fuck yourself.
Jack!, shut the fuck up.
Someone separate us before we start making out.
I had a Curl E robot once but I couldn’t get him to say anything other than “Nyuk nyuk nyuk.”
{Pulls up chair, spins it around, cops a squat, stares at Al, and Jack!}
Bout time somebody started fucking around here.
Watch out, that Paul E robot will go through your wallet at night.
Al, I can’t make out with you because I’m
notgay.Too late Jack!, we already had sex.
I slipped a little something special into your drink.
Sorry.You put a tiny retard in my drink?
How unsanitary!
P.S.
IWe have AIDS.*winks at Fek*
Jacktion!, Al, Shut the fuck up.
Enough of this shit.
“Your name here, shut the fuck up” is my catch phrase, and you assholes need to quit ripping me off and get your own material.
I’m just curious to know what’s going on between Donk and Fek.
Jack!, I think we weren’t the only ones doing it just now.
Donny, shut the fuck up.
I was once given a free drink because I was mistaken for someone else. Someone prettier. The purchaser of said drinks was already drunk.
“Hear that dog barking? Bring some peanut butter, I’ll show ya something.”
Enough of this shit.
“Your name here, shut the fuck up” is my catch phrase, and you assholes need to quit ripping me off and get your own material.
Jacktion!, shut the fuck up.
Donk, get your own bit.
And then shut the fuck up.
Jacktion!, I love you, man.All you hairy bastards need to be shutting the fuck up!
So, when does the making out start?