RUN FOR YOUR LIVES, IT’S CGI!
11.13.08
This new 2012 teaser (video after the jump) is vintage Roland Emmerich, cutting between CG shots of the world flooding and reaction shots of people going “Oh no, the word’s flooding!” At the end, it helpfully suggests that you Google search “2012″. I’ll save you the trouble – basically, the Mayans were told by their gods that the world would end December 21st, 2012. Of course, these were the same asshole gods who didn’t tell them shit about inventing gunpowder.
You know what would really improve a Roland Emmerich movie? Nick Nolte. Nick Nolte would drink armageddon under the table.
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I have a feeling They Might Be Giants will not be on this film’s soundtrack. Pity…
If I wanted to find out the truth I’d watch FOX News.
I feel fine.
That explains why my Mayan mortgage broker friend stopped signing 30 year papers in 1982.
Wow, that’s amazing, who’d have thought the 2012 London Olympics would cause the end of the world? Ohh, hang on, it’s Google.COM. I didn’t realise the end of the world would only happen in the US – good thing for the rest of us though..
Let me guess, the film ends with John Cusack and Thandie Newton riding dolphins to the only part of the world that didn’t flood. A visionary that Roland Emmerich is.
On another note, if you haven’t heard the They Might Be Giants dunkin donuts commercials, you’re missing out.
Danny Glover plays the president in 2012. I don’t really have anything to add to that.
This blog talks more about TMBG than a blog about TMBG.
S.P.A.A.M. – Smart People Against Armageddon Movies
I’m so using this as my excuse as to why I haven’t bought anybody any Christmas presents in 2012.
I would totally shred that gnarly digital wave with my superimposed digital surfboard, man.
Every time a bell rings, a Buddhist gets his water wings.
Nepal would suck to repopulate after a flood. All there’d be lying about are failed mountain climbers and yeti corpses.
I am so afraid of CGI, I am shaking as I post this.
The only CGI I’m afraid of is a Continuous Gerbil Injection.
Pixar would make armageddon cute.
Did they write it in Inca?
*Loads up marshmallow gun with gerbils, aims it at Burnsy.
I’m feeling hostile today grrrr
The Aztec calendar predicts the world will end with some awesome nachos.
Mayans always get me shitty winter hats for Christmas
Then I’ll have to settle with Colonic Gerbil Infection.
*Hands Michelle The Jacktion! Award*
And the crowd groans wild!
It’s puns like that that could have saved MAD TV.
Burnsy, hiring female comediennes who actually looked like females wouldn’t have hurt either.
And that Christian Slater show got the axe but Heroes is still on? Networks just don’t understand.
This award is covered in grape jelly and smells of guiness : (
Just saying…For the record, the Maya believed that the Earth went through ‘stages’ of sorts and that it was important that they keep track of the passage of time in a very special manner so that they would know when the end of an age approached so that they could be prepared, since the end of an age was always met with horrific cataclysms. They used 3 calenders, two of which–the tzolkin(sp?) and the ha’ab, worked like interlocking wheels of different sizes which would line up at their starting point only at the end of a 26,000 year cycle. Odd to keep track of such large amounts of time for no good reason. Another one of them, the Long Count, actually counted up all of the days since the beginning of the universe. Not saying I buy into it necessarily, but the Maya sure as hell thought it was important. They spent everything they had on keeping track of the time and the day. I am looking forward to 12/21/2012 with a bit of apprehension I have to admit. Fingerprints of the Gods by Graham Hancock has a lot of cool info on it. Again, not saying I necessarily buy into it, but when you check it out, it’s pretty freaky…
Third hit on Google for me is Sarah Palin running for president in 2012. I’m gonna go with that.
Alternate title:
The Flood of New Orleans 2: This Time Stay Down!
I’d just like to point out that if you google search 2012, you get more videos about the end of the world, and then there’s an article about Sarah Palin running for president in 2012.
Who writes Google? JJ Abrams?
and yes I did just say “who writes google”
OMGWTF!!!11! The wrlds going to end! Just like 1999,2000,2003 and 2008…