THE VARIETY SLANGUAGE MEETING
11.20.08This latest Funny or Die video imagines what a Variety writer “slanguage” (that’s “slang” and “language” – slang is already language, but hooray for combo words!) meeting might look like. See, mainstream news outlets like Variety never let their writers express opinions or have any fun at all, so oftentimes, all that pent up creativity leaks out in one super gay spurt, like a play on words headline about Beverly Hills Chihuahua. Variety writers especially, love industry slang as much as gossip columnists love pointless alliteration.
Here they brainstorm new slang like “Vagina Web”, “Shitpit”, and “Ben Silverman-dering.” There are multiple Ben Silvermans in entertainment (of course), but I assume they mean the co-chairman of NBC Entertainment, who, incidentally, is “currently developing a soap opera with the working title Without Breasts There Is No Paradise.” I think Jesus once said that. To some chick who was being a prude. Then he turned water into wine and pebbles into roofies.

“Without Breasts There Is No Paradise” is what my wiener said upon hearing the news of Christina Applegate’s bout with cancer.
“Without Plot There Is An Hour Long Commercial” was the pilot title for Knight Rider.
“Without distinct plot lines there is just bullshit” is the thinking behind Heroes this season.
Dammit, erswi, I answered you on the last post.
Jesus also invented BTK but the disciples never caught on because he’d resurrect his victims.
I saw that Stinky. The only problem I’m having is we’ve still got one in the NICU. Don’t know yet when she’ll be coming home. So I’m splitting time between work, caring for my new son, visiting my daughter in the NICU and taking care of my wife whose incision is now getting infected.
“Without Trying We Can Just Make Another Version Of Chuck And Have It Star Christian Slater” was the original title of My Own Worst Enemy.
That sucks bro. I hope she’s just in the NICU because her billy-rueben is a little higher than the docs would like it to be. Seriously man, I’m pulling for ya.
Having read the synopsis to the “Without Breasts There Is No Paradise”, the Columbian version sounds like it’s best watched with 3D glasses and an 8 ball. Maybe some tissues too.
Shit Erswi, that sucks. I hope to God you guys aren’t hosting Thanksgiving. I can draw pictures of buildings if that would help.
Erswi – congrats, and good luck. The first couple weeks are hellish, especially if there are health scares. I’m sure everything will be fine. Know that your wife and baby are being well cared for.
Oh, and fuck work – tell them they can suck it.
erswi-The Mighty Feklahr would pray to Kahless for the health of your wife…but it would probably be better if He just went out and sacrificed fermented malted barley and hops for the cause.
I think Jesus once said that. To some chick who was being a prude. Then he turned water into wine and pebbles into roofies.
Lince, can we fast forward to the part where Jesus turns the DNA test into a machine gun?
As most of you can probably tell…new up.