
Pretty noice, innit. Dat’s whoy Oy do free ‘undred bloody crunches a day now don’ Oy.
Oi. Oy’m Jason Stafam. Go see moy movie da Transpor’a Paht Free. Heah’s some pictures from moy fock’n scrapbook.
Picture 1: Awlroight yous cunts, backup cuz Oy’s takin’ moy shir’ off, an you don’ wanna be around when da guns come out now doesn’ dey.
Picture 2: Dis cunt’s pissed coz Oy’s shaggin dis fit bird. Oi, oo d’ya fink da bird’s gonna loike, some cunt onna outsoide a da fock’n door, or Jason fock’n Stafam? Fock’n is moy middle naime.
Picture 3: In dis one, Oy’s propa worried. Oy’s finkin, “Oi, Stafam. Did you do 800 pullups dis morning or only 799? Oi, eivva way, you’s sure an ‘andsome cunt.”
Picture 4: Oi, in dis one, Oy’s gonna deflect dis cunt’s knoife wif moy faice. Won’ be da first toime Oy’s won a starin contest wiff a knoife.
Picture 5: In dis one, Oy’s bout ta give dis fit bird a knobbin onda hood a moy sazz wagon. She looks loike she could use a good knobbin now don’ it.
Picture 6: In dis one, Oy’s troyin ta decoide whevva ta run ovva deez cunts in moy flash shoiny sazz wagon or taike me shir’ off an roide aroun’ on moy fock’n boicycle.
Picture 7: Now if dis don’ maike da bird’s moist den dey’s droy for loife now doesn’ dey.
Picture 8: Oi, fock off, ‘elmet! Oy’s fock’n Jason Stafam now don’ oy! Oy can fock’n ponch an kick at the same toime!
[As a thanks to RopeofSilicon for these pictures, check out their feature on this year's Oscar race]




Dor sho gha! What is this HaDibah yIntagh saying? The Mighty Feklahr cannot understand a Qovlpathing word!!!
Vince, have I mentioned that I really enjoy your Transporter posts?
Because I really do.
Wow, that was too hard to read but wow, I can’t stop looking at the wow, picture anyway.
Thankyouthankyouthankyou Vance.
Damn, I really need to learn how to make gif animation so I could make those hips thrust back and forth.
Well if you ever figure it out, feel free to ‘shop me in there in front of him.
Because Jason Statham givin’ it to Ian McShane would be pretty fooking funny, I think.
Have you tried closing your eyes and wishing really hard?
It doesn’t usually work, but it couldn’t hurt.
The Mighty Feklahr could TOTALLY take Statham!
.
.
.
.
.
.
(in a Star Trek trivia contest…:(…)
Statham is this generation’s JCVD. I’m actually jealous. I had to wait for JCVD’s movies to be released on DVD for the subtitles so I could understand what the fuck he was saying.
“Chance. That’s an interesting name. Why Chance?”
“dswe dkwhw euuwnvp sklaj ewg” (’cause my momma took one)”
I have approximately .0005 of the muscles featured in the banner pic.
JHC, I would make the argument that because they seem to be roughly the same age to me, that they both belong to my generation and therefore I own them. You may have JCVD back, though.
All I see is a receding hairline. He needs to beat those follicles into compliance.
I feel sorry for Kevin McBride in the banner pic. he can’t beat anybody since he beat Tyson, can he?
HOLY SHIT Van Damme’s 48? FUCK MIKE!
Statham would have to fight hard to beat His high score on Sonic the Hedgehog!
*waves hands back and forth*
No no. He’s all yours Al. He can be your fall back when you finally tire Statham out.
You know, after all these pics of Statham shirtless, I could have sworn he had an innie. But, there it is, clear as day in picture #6. You can clearly see he has an Audi.
NO.
YOU.
DIDN’T.
Donk, don’t you recognize what you’ve started?
I’m not proud of what I’ve done, Erswi, but somebody had to do it.
Pic 7: Oi! Hoo the fock moved my barka lounger out from in front of me HD Sony Widescreen and put it inna fron’ of dis ere brick fockin wall?
Hey guys! Did I miss anyth…
*Jack! rubs his eyes*
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA?
Pic #8: Invisible biker kick
Pic #6: “No, really Jason. Thank you for the dinner, the symphony was great, and these flowers…wow, but I’m on my period and it’s not gonna happen tonight.”
Pic #3 demonstrates why there is NO NEED for facial close ups. NO NEED AT ALL. And why is he wearing a shirt in that pic?
Banner Pic: Jason’s fucking it up. You have to make the OK sign with your fingers and put it on your elbow when you are throwing an epic shirtless-flex-elbow-scope at a noob.
^Aaaanybody get that?
I like when pornos have a good facial close up, Al.
Banner Pic: Statham showing everybody what happens when you show up late to his pilates class.
Banner pic-If Statham would have just waited, Private Pile would have just killed himself anyway.
Banner Pic: Statham’s new work out regimen based on Tae Bo, called Twist Bo. All moves are based on 50′s dance fads. The Mash Potato routine will hammer your glutes!
Pic #7: ello, oim Jaison Stantham fo Sleep Numbah mahtreses. Whot numbah ar yoo, ya cunny flop?!
I secretly want to see Jason Statham and Italian guys duking it out, just to see if Vince’s head will explode trying to write dialogue in Stathamese and Italian Pidgin English.
They should totally make a movie out of his picture book.
Again I must say, my vagina needs more Statham
My boy pussy needs more Statham.
I read 3 words before I started laughing, 3 sentences had me crying.
Now I’ve stopped breathing.
These are all serious symptoms of the Statham Effect.
Jacktion!, Pac Man’s jaunty cap disturbs me in a way I cant quite articulate
Did everyone retreat to the secret bunker? I didn’t think we were supposed to go there until January 20th… DON’T LEAVE ME!
Awwww… I can’t believe you assholes left me with Stoney!
Dont despair, Stone. You havent been abandoned, I am just a gifted Durster.
No offense, Stone.
Of course not, Jack! (you guys didn’t give Jack the combination to the door, did you?)
*imagines eternal isolation with Jacktion!*
“No, really, I get it. The two words sound alike. Awesome…”
I keed, I keed, Jack.
seriously, guys, let me in!
that would be PUNishment…
WTF, I come back from lunch and this is all there is? I am very happy to see we’re all still on Statham, however.
And by being on Statham, I mean there is probably enough of him to support both of us, Eibz.
I think Vinny’s out signing up at multiple tanning salons…
I’d really love to see The Stath freestyle.
Dor sho gha! The Mighty Feklhar knew He should have Lince put up that new post with XXX shots of Megan Fox before He killed him! Wave “Hi!” to your fans, Lanky!
*flops dismembered arm around in webcam*
People with Statham’s body type are over-rated.
People with my body type have over-ated.
Fuck Miike, this pun stuff is hard. Jack! really does have a gift.
Statham’s abs can say, “Let’s fuck” in seventeen different languages.
Sixteen, Burnsy. Pig Latin doesn’t count.
random drug testing on various Hollywood action stars would be beyond hilarious
Do you think Jason had to hold the guys pocket when the were not filming?
Emmalee, I heart you for the Tea Bag ref. Also, that shit is all-natural baby. I see no puffiness of roids in any one of those billion muscles.
Awww.. Spanx, Al. I saw him in Men’s Health a while back and he was holding his body perpendicular to a pole. It was amazing. Link: [media.photobucket.com]
One time, in band camp, Jason Statham raped me.
failblog.org/2008/11/05/motel-fail-2/
QAPLAH! (work safe)
Jack!-Stath can’t rape the willing, yIntagh!
Anyway, there is your Filmdrunk rape overload of the day!
So much for an NPA…
Emmalee, that’s not really that impressive. I too can hold myself perpendicular to a pole . . .
*channeling Mitch Hedberg* Especially if the pole is horizontal!
Fek-That was AWESOME!!! HA HA HA HA…!!!
Awww… Don’t take the wind out of my sail, now, Joker. :-(
Dor sho gha! Is mmale a real girl?
“Holding myself perpendicular to a Pole” is a fun position in Warsaw.
FEK-Last time I checked I was…?
Guy’cha! So, want to be added to the prestigious list of semi-verifiable Filmdrunkette females?
Emmalee, you best be taking that av down cuz even I want to rape you. Also, thanks for the Statham link :)
*chugs kerosene*
Al-LMFAO!!!
FEK- I am going to have to ask you to elaborate.
dirtyhairy.blogspot.com/2008/01/filmdrunking-by-mighty-feklhr.html
QAPLAH! Updated for Emmalee!
Al-More rape? Is this why they call Wednesday “hump day”???
It’s a prestigious fucking honour! Look at it! LOOK AT IT!!!
Hey, is it ironic that you have to cross a dateline to have sex with a 13-year old Thai hooker?
Depends on what time she was born, Donk.
FEK-That’s an awesome Blog!!!
*swallows dynamite*
Goodnight everyone. I will try to log on in a bit. :-)
Man, I have only ever had one person tell me that my website/blog was too disturbing and violent. :( Maybe I need to reach a different target audience?
:P
*slides a piss filled mooncup to Emmalee*
Welcome to the internet meth habit that is Filmdrunk,Emm.
The age of consent varies. So sometimes you only have to cross a stateline.
*snorts gunpowder*
Story of my fucking life. I finally get up enough nerve to hit on a chick, and she fucking leaves.
Dor sho gha!
*free bases nitroglycerin*
*gargles jet fuel*
*lights match*
Ok, don’t blink, because I can only do this once.
*Swallows match, explodes, flies right over imless’ head*
*sticks block of C-4 up ass*
*crams sem-tex into the folds of His sweaty flab*
Hey, did you guys hear something?
J-nitroglycerin? Did you and Chuckles run out of Ajax?
*eats three cans of pork and beans*
What the fuck are doing?
FUCK!
{goes back to work}
Sorry, there should’ve been a we in there too. I’m high on high explosives.
*doesn’t know what the hell is going on, shrugs, tries to fit in by jumping out the window, floats*
“What’s happening? Is this another one of my powers? AHHH HA HA HA HA HA HAAA!!!!”
Remember guys, you can’t spell Emmalee without male.
I’m just sayin’.
Should He ask Emmalee if she has a little Klingon in her? *winks at Sarah Palin*
Jack!-since when has that mattered to this crowd? “It looked like a girl and sucked my dick! We can check the body in the trunk to see if it was a guy or not!!!”
I’M FUCKING MY HAND!!
I understand. Emmalee always needs a male in her, otherwise her name is just Eme. And that’s just silly.
DENZEL WASHINGTON!!
Seriously, not that I’m complaining about shirtless Statham, but are we still on this thread? Also, the hand-fucking thing is a LOT funnier if you’ve seen the video.
Congratulations on your new president. Try not to break him. That Bush fella, is he allowed to do anything now? If i was the outgoing president i’d want to launch at least one ICBM before leaving office. No one would miss Greenland. No one could tell if it got hit anyway.
All right, as long as you guys don’t care, I’ll sign back in as Emmalee in a few minutes and we can pick up where we left off.
You guys are so cute and funny.
Al, if I had a dime for every time I’ve uttered the words, I’m Fucking My Hand, I’d be wealthier than a Saudi Prince.
I wonder what Vinyard would say about the election? I miss that skin headed so and so…
Pic 1: The Stath tries out for High School Transporter.
He shot himself, JHC.
But he did have the gat turned horizontally
antflu
More like High School Bruiseical!
I still got it!
If the Stath doesn’t wear a helmet then I’m not.
“Helmet” is “condom”, right?
Pic 7. Statham awakes from the anesthetic to discover that not only are his clothes are missing but most of the dentist’s office is too.
Pic 8: Erik Estrada will never fuck with Statham again.
Charlie, that cracked me right the fuck up. I did come back from lunch drunk, but that’s beside the point.
Pic #4: Stath is showing him how to cut a birthday cake.
That’s some lunch break. Did you have to hunt and prepare your own food?
Pic 5: Statham about to headbutt Avril Levigne to death.
For the time-zone challenged: it’s barely 3pm here. Also: food?
Damnit, cktio! I was trying to come up with a pun for 10 minutes and finally gave up and posted that lame post, only cause I feel lonely and haven’t been able to participate in comments here lately.
NEW UP. WITH BOOBS.
Enough proof for you, Jacktion?
[profile.myspace.com]