11.05.08 THE STATH PRESENTS NEW TRANSPORTER PICS
Pretty noice, innit. Dat’s whoy Oy do free ‘undred bloody crunches a day now don’ Oy.
Oi. Oy’m Jason Stafam. Go see moy movie da Transpor’a Paht Free. Heah’s some pictures from moy fock’n scrapbook.
Picture 1: Awlroight yous cunts, backup cuz Oy’s takin’ moy shir’ off, an you don’ wanna be around when da guns come out now doesn’ dey.
Picture 2: Dis cunt’s pissed coz Oy’s shaggin dis fit bird. Oi, oo d’ya fink da bird’s gonna loike, some cunt onna outsoide a da fock’n door, or Jason fock’n Stafam? Fock’n is moy middle naime.
Picture 3: In dis one, Oy’s propa worried. Oy’s finkin, “Oi, Stafam. Did you do 800 pullups dis morning or only 799? Oi, eivva way, you’s sure an ‘andsome cunt.”
Picture 4: Oi, in dis one, Oy’s gonna deflect dis cunt’s knoife wif moy faice. Won’ be da first toime Oy’s won a starin contest wiff a knoife.
Picture 5: In dis one, Oy’s bout ta give dis fit bird a knobbin onda hood a moy sazz wagon. She looks loike she could use a good knobbin now don’ it.
Picture 6: In dis one, Oy’s troyin ta decoide whevva ta run ovva deez cunts in moy flash shoiny sazz wagon or taike me shir’ off an roide aroun’ on moy fock’n boicycle.
Picture 7: Now if dis don’ maike da bird’s moist den dey’s droy for loife now doesn’ dey.
Picture 8: Oi, fock off, ‘elmet! Oy’s fock’n Jason Stafam now don’ oy! Oy can fock’n ponch an kick at the same toime!
[As a thanks to RopeofSilicon for these pictures, check out their feature on this year's Oscar race]
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/10/reddawn-chineseamericanflag-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/09/wherewildthings-birdhouseso-150x150.jpg)
There are 122 comments about:
THE STATH PRESENTS NEW TRANSPORTER PICS
Dor sho gha! What is this HaDibah yIntagh saying? The Mighty Feklahr cannot understand a Qovlpathing word!!!
Vince, have I mentioned that I really enjoy your Transporter posts?
Because I really do.
Wow, that was too hard to read but wow, I can’t stop looking at the wow, picture anyway.
Thankyouthankyouthankyou Vance.
Damn, I really need to learn how to make gif animation so I could make those hips thrust back and forth.
Well if you ever figure it out, feel free to ’shop me in there in front of him.
Because Jason Statham givin’ it to Ian McShane would be pretty fooking funny, I think.
Have you tried closing your eyes and wishing really hard?
It doesn’t usually work, but it couldn’t hurt.
The Mighty Feklahr could TOTALLY take Statham!
.
.
.
.
.
.
(in a Star Trek trivia contest…:(…)
Statham is this generation’s JCVD. I’m actually jealous. I had to wait for JCVD’s movies to be released on DVD for the subtitles so I could understand what the fuck he was saying.
“Chance. That’s an interesting name. Why Chance?”
“dswe dkwhw euuwnvp sklaj ewg” (’cause my momma took one)”
I have approximately .0005 of the muscles featured in the banner pic.
JHC, I would make the argument that because they seem to be roughly the same age to me, that they both belong to my generation and therefore I own them. You may have JCVD back, though.
All I see is a receding hairline. He needs to beat those follicles into compliance.
I feel sorry for Kevin McBride in the banner pic. he can’t beat anybody since he beat Tyson, can he?
HOLY SHIT Van Damme’s 48? FUCK MIKE!
Statham would have to fight hard to beat His high score on Sonic the Hedgehog!
*waves hands back and forth*
No no. He’s all yours Al. He can be your fall back when you finally tire Statham out.
You know, after all these pics of Statham shirtless, I could have sworn he had an innie. But, there it is, clear as day in picture #6. You can clearly see he has an Audi.
NO.
YOU.
DIDN’T.
Donk, don’t you recognize what you’ve started?
I’m not proud of what I’ve done, Erswi, but somebody had to do it.
Pic 7: Oi! Hoo the fock moved my barka lounger out from in front of me HD Sony Widescreen and put it inna fron’ of dis ere brick fockin wall?
Hey guys! Did I miss anyth…
*Jack! rubs his eyes*
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA?
Pic #8: Invisible biker kick
Pic #6: “No, really Jason. Thank you for the dinner, the symphony was great, and these flowers…wow, but I’m on my period and it’s not gonna happen tonight.”
Pic #3 demonstrates why there is NO NEED for facial close ups. NO NEED AT ALL. And why is he wearing a shirt in that pic?
Banner Pic: Jason’s fucking it up. You have to make the OK sign with your fingers and put it on your elbow when you are throwing an epic shirtless-flex-elbow-scope at a noob.
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