When a studio flack called something “Lord of the Flies meets Children of Men” last week, I thought the search for the world’s lamest shorthand pitch was over.  Today we have a new contestant.

The Hasbro-Universal collaboration “Monopoly” is jumping a large number of spaces up the board.

Ridley Scott, who has been attached as a producer and has been mentioned as a possible director, is now officially attached to helm the project, with an eye toward giving it a futuristic sheen along the lines of his iconic “Blade Runner.” [THR]

New York, 2087.  Frank “Dutch” McGarnicle is a lonely private dick whose three whiskeys before breakfast can’t replace the three kids he hasn’t seen in years or the wife who ran off with a Zhoran.  Sent to find a robot hooker shaped like a shoe with a nasty neurofen habit, he suddenly finds himself trespassing on Park Place, the prized possession of the Tyrell corporation.  Tangled in a web of deceit and intrigue, he’s on the run and he knows they want more than rent, they want… his eyes.