11.12.08 THE BLADE RUNNER OF MONOPOLY MOVIES
When a studio flack called something “Lord of the Flies meets Children of Men” last week, I thought the search for the world’s lamest shorthand pitch was over. Today we have a new contestant.
The Hasbro-Universal collaboration “Monopoly” is jumping a large number of spaces up the board.
Ridley Scott, who has been attached as a producer and has been mentioned as a possible director, is now officially attached to helm the project, with an eye toward giving it a futuristic sheen along the lines of his iconic “Blade Runner.” [THR]
New York, 2087. Frank “Dutch” McGarnicle is a lonely private dick whose three whiskeys before breakfast can’t replace the three kids he hasn’t seen in years or the wife who ran off with a Zhoran. Sent to find a robot hooker shaped like a shoe with a nasty neurofen habit, he suddenly finds himself trespassing on Park Place, the prized possession of the Tyrell corporation. Tangled in a web of deceit and intrigue, he’s on the run and he knows they want more than rent, they want… his eyes.
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2010/02/RobinHood-Crowe-Cake-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/12/RussellCrowe-RobinHood-150x150.jpg)
There are 29 comments about:
THE BLADE RUNNER OF MONOPOLY MOVIES
The blue liquid is put in a little pewter thimble.
A little pewter thimble?
Yes, a little pewter thimble.
I cannot wait to see how Scott tricks out the tophat and shoe.
So will the star not shower for a month so he can ride the BO railroads?
In the future, everyone travels on irons.
“I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe. Multiple hotels on both Boardwalk and Park Place.”
In Ridley Scott’s version, the audience will still be able to fail at figuring out 10% of $750.
Fek, I dont know which is sadder, that I knew the reference or that you made it
I need the old Uncle Pennybags. I need your magic.
Along the way, the protagonist will face con-artists trying to sell him Baltic Avenue
When you “Pass Go” in future-monopoly, you get a copy of the Alien DVD on Laserdisc
Theater owners had better make sure the clerk at the ticket counter isn’t cheating like my younger brother
Yeah, that made no sense
Lisa Lohan should star as the community chest
I got raped in an alley on Pacific Ave.
EIb-six of one, half a dozen of the other.
Uwe Boll has signed on to helm Chutes and Ladders.
I score coke on Ventnor.
I get to be the tiny unicorn I get to be the tiny unicorn
The get out of jail free card will be sharing a cell with Schofield from Prison Break
Let’s take a picture to remember the day Fek referenced the blue liquid…
My whole life has been like a game of Monopoly — always finishing second in the beauty contest.
:(
A side-plot in the monopoly movie is going to be a gay couple getting married on Connecticut avenue and then having that shit taken away in Pennsylvania avenue, but not before they visit a few railroads.
*crossing fingers chanting please let Special K be the Monacled Man*
The folks on Baltic Ave. are thrilled with the election results.
Kurgan, dude, serious thought jinx there.
New up, dames and dudes.
Next for Ridley, Boggle meets Alien.
What the fuck. Was Ridley Scott at DrunkCon? BASTARD! Where the hell is Donk today? I think we have a lawsuit.
“You can only be the shoe. *cocks back handgun* YOU CAN ONLY BE THE SHOE!”
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